Chapter 10: Chasing Dreams

The trip home was faster. I didn’t realize we had already arrived at my parents’ house because I was so happy with the date tonight. 

“Come inside?” I asked, despite doubting he would go. I enjoyed the night with him until I wished we could prolong it. 

“Okay.” Again, he opened the door for me. “Your parents’ house is comfortable. I love visiting it. Your parents are wonderful too.”

I widened my eyes. “Really? Are you sure you don’t make mistakes?” I joked. We were already in the living room.  

He chuckled. “Yes, your parents are great. As if I hadn’t met them for the first time.”

I just smiled to hear that. My dad and mom could be so welcome and warm when they met with people they liked. I wondered if Edward became my husband, he would surely be their favorite son-in-law. 

He snapped his fingers before my face. “What are you thinking of?”

“Oh? Uh? I enjoyed tonight. Thanks to you.”

He nodded while smiling tenderly at me. “I also enjoyed tonight. Thank you, Lana.” His eyes beamed beautifully. 

Next, he reached out his hand and held my hand for a second. Then he lifted and kissed the back of my hand.  

If he kept bombing me with so many sweet words and acts, I would be extremely worried! I didn’t want to like him. Oh, no, it was the wrong word. I was afraid to fall deeply in love with him!

He stood before a bookshelf in the living room. Then he raised his eyebrow while pointing to a book which I sent to The Best Romance 2025 contest. He even took the book, turned it, and read the blurb on the back of the book cover. Afterward, he put it back on the shelf. “You love writing?”  

I forgot I hadn’t put the book into storage. I had a habit of putting my self-published books in the living room bookshelf as a reminder. After what happened that night, I planned to do it, but I forgot. Each time I saw it, I shed my tears. Tonight wasn’t the exception. 

“What’s wrong?” He was shocked. “Am I wrong?”

I shook my head. “I-I … I change my clothes first, okay?” Without waiting for his reply, I ran away to my room. It was the first date that I found myself in tears. What a good impression! While I wanted him to remember tonight as a pleasant event with me.

Immediately, I changed my dress with a comfortable cream baby doll. I forced myself to smile in the mirror. I saw an unconvincing face there, but it was better than when I just entered my room.  

After taking a deep breath to calm myself, I returned to the living room. I took a seat next to him while folding my legs. “I’m sorry for the burst of tears.” 

He shook his head. “No need to apologize. Do you want to tell me the story behind your tears?”

While bending my face, I finally told him, “You’re right. It’s the book I wrote.” I sighed. “I love writing, and I put the books there for mementos of contests I joined.” Then I was quiet because my tears threatened to flow again. After taking a deep breath again, I continued, “Unfortunately, this one has a different story.”  

“Oh? How?” He asked as if he was truly curious. Probably it was only my imagination. 

“It was a hurtful experience.” I sniffled. “On the awarding night, I came to the capital. However, I was humiliated there.” I sobbed. 

He reached my shoulders and pulled me in his direction. My head leaned on his shoulder. However, my sob was louder.  

Patting my shoulder tenderly, he said, “Cry as much as you want if it can make you feel better.”

So, I sobbed. My nose was stuffy because of the tears. He offered his handkerchief, which I took gladly.  

Later, I realized I leaned on his shoulder. So, I took a distance from him and straightened my back. “I’m sorry …. I shouldn’t cry.”

He shook his head again, even wiping some tears on my cheeks with his thumb. Later, he caressed my head tenderly. “It’s okay. It’s good you could cry and feel much better than if you put it inside and wound yourself.” He stared at me after we said nothing for a while. “May I know how you were humiliated?”

I didn’t answer right away. After sighing, I told him everything.  

“Have you asked the committee why your name wasn’t on the finalists list? You have a right to ask for an explanation from them,” he said. “It’s so unprofessional that they already notified you, but changed the list at the last moment.”  

I shook my head. “What for?” I sighed again. “It won’t change anything. I wouldn’t be a finalist too by asking for an explanation. It already happened.”

“At least you’ll know the truth. Even if they don’t tell the truth, you have asked, and it’s your right,” he said firmly. 

I considered what he said. He got his point. I should ask the committee. Maybe I would feel much relieved afterward. So, finally, I nodded. “Okay, I’ll email them tomorrow. Thanks for your advice.”

He stared at me without blinking. “If you need help to sue them, I can help you. My family uses a law office to deal with the legal matters.”

“Sue?” I cleared my throat and then scratched my head though it wasn’t itchy. “I’m nobody. Besides, I don’t have money to pay.”

“You don’t need to pay. We have paid each month for thousands of hours for the legal matters. So you can use it too,” he said again.

“Thanks, but suing is too far.” I looked elsewhere. “Besides, it’ll be troublesome if we must face each other in court for such a case,” I whispered.  

“You know? You’re too nice. One day, it’ll be one of your disadvantages. You must fight for your rights.”

I shrugged. “Some said so, but no suing. Thanks for the offer.” 

“Anytime. I read your book at a glance. You are talented. Why do you become an accountant if you enjoy writing?”  

“Uh, I don’t know. I love counting and being meticulous with my work. Accounting is the right field for me. Writing is just a hobby.”

“Have you ever thought about making it serious? Be a professional writer I mean. Have you thought about it?”

“No,” I whispered while shaking my head. 

“Why not?” He raised his eyebrow. “It’s a shame if you waste your talent.”

“I have some reasons. In our country, it’s hard to live purely on the writer’s earnings. Besides, I’m not so talented.” 

He touched his chin while staring at me. “Really? Probably you’re only lacking confidence?” 

It was accurate. So I said nothing.  

“If you have a chance to do it, will you try?” he asked again.

“I don’t know.” I let out a long sigh. “You're probably right. I don’t have enough confidence. Who am I? So many talented writers are out there. Won’t I just waste my time and money to try? What if I fail?”

“What if you succeed? Have you thought about it?” he asked again. “Besides, talent is developed, not only born.” 

I shrugged. “I don’t know. Before now, I have never considered being a professional writer.”

He blew his breath. “You know? I’m jealous of you. You can have a dream as a writer. You also have a talent for that, but you don’t chase it. While I,” he was quiet for a while, then he sighed, “want so badly to be a designer, but I can’t go through the wall of fate.”

“What if you design as a hobby? Like me?” 

His eyes looked straight ahead. “Design as a hobby? I have never thought of it before. Maybe I can try.” Suddenly he snapped his fingers. He glanced at me and grinned. “How about we support each other? I’ll try to design as a hobby while you will write more seriously. I’m sure you can do it.”

I grinned back and teased him, “If I’m serious as a writer, you’ll lose your assistant.” 

He chuckled. “Probably, but I think our dream is more important than a job. If I were you, I’d fight until finally I could publish my book. It seems all writers want their books published and read by many readers, don’t they?” 

I nodded. Then slowly I smiled at him. “It’s the same as a designer who will feel satisfaction when their work can impress others,” I whispered. 

We glanced at each other and smiled. Could we chase our dreams?