Chapter 27: Her Tinder Date

She missed Nat. 7am in the morning and she woke up with a longing, a homesickness for him. She knew, it was undeniable. But then she thought it an impulsive thought, her emotions deceiving her that she needed a partner to feel complete.

She created an account on Tinder and matched with a few attractive men she saw, mostly few kilometers from her. They texted her. She refused to be the first to text any, even the ones she liked because she had the archaic mentality that a woman texting first would make her look desperate with low self-worth.

“Hello!” they entered her DM's with an emoji wave.

“Glad to match here”

“I’m Perry”

“From Brooklyn “

“I’m Scott”

“Collin”

They were all good looking but it was Collin that most appealed to her. It was Collin whom she gave her phone number to. She lay in bed beneath her duvet smiling and enjoying their conversations. He was a Professor at Yale in his late 30s but she noticed in him an unending curiosity, the way he looked at the world and questioned things. His lean body and perfectly arched eyebrows and his striking brown eyes.

“You said you buy your vegetables from the mall?”

“Yes” she said

“That’s unhealthy. It’s better if you go to the farmers market where you can have it fresh.The nutritional value of fruits decreases substantially when kept in the mall”.

“Really? It was a good observation although she hasn't heard anyone say that to her.

“Apart from it tasting bland. You are depriving your body of essential vitamins”

“So where’s this farmers market you go to?” she asked

“Oh I no longer go to the farmers market. I grow my own vegetables and a few fruits. I have a garden”

He showed her a picture of him smiling and kneeling before a small cultivated land of various vegetables and some fruit trees bearing fruits at the back of his house. He was wearing his farmer's boots and a cowboy cap on his head. He was not real. He was a strange man. She was steeped in intrigue, impressed however awkwardly nerdy he seemed.

“What’s your discipline?" she asked.

“Human kinetics” he said proudly

“I see”

“And you are ?”

“I’m into fashion designing,” she said.

“Interesting” he wasn’t overwhelmed by her career path in a way he would have if she had told him “I’m doing my fellowship at Princeton”.

He saw his posts on F******k with friends in daddy brown jeans and buttoned up shirts with long sleeves. He stood out in his papas cap and grey Tweed Professorjacket. Lanky and sharp faced Collin Rivers with curly black hair.

In their conversations, she admired his sympathy for people in the world.

He was enraged about the killings in Yemen, child labour in Africa and china.

With him, he would never hurt her the way Nat had done.

On their first date, he hugged her wearing his signature papas cap and a wool coat. Zara wore a yellow dress.

“You look gorgeous,” he said, admiring her radiant luminescence. Her yellow dress complimented her shiny olive skin.

“Thank you” Zara blushed

“I believed from the photos you sent me that you were a stunning beauty but you didn’t tell me you were also a water mermaid”

She blushed.

“Reminds me of a poem I read:

“Who would be A mermaid fair, / Singing alone, Combing her hair, / Under the sea, in a golden curl, / With a comb of pearl, On a throne?" he said quoting the line from Alfred Tennyson's The Mermaid.

She nearly burst out laughing.

“Nice words”

“I hope you don’t cast a spell on me with your queen substance”

“You better not entice me too. I might get a little excited and ruin you in my portion”

“I like the sound of that” he said

They were on firm flirting territory now.

“Well is this how you go about flirting with any woman you hang around with”

“Well…speaking of flirting I thought we already set up camp there”

Zara laughed. Good sense of humor, she remarked.

All was going well now until she ordered her rib, her roasted rib enjoying the cool of the restaurant and the evening.

“You shouldn’t be having that”he said

Zara paused, her cutlery was raised up

“Shouldn’t?” She searched his face for meaning.

“Eating too much meat makes you high on cholesterol. It’s not good for your health. Check your food and health status”

“I know that, thanks. That’s why I do my runs and hit the gym sometimes”

“Not enough. You need to cut off some things from your diet”

“Really?”

“Yeah” he said condescendingly.

She glanced at his plate. He ordered

spiced Asparagus and lettuce spinach with a bay leaf sauce.

Zara was slightly irritated

“I wonder why you're making it a big deal. Not like I eat this everyday”.

He argued with her. Quoting the percentage ratings of cancer and other diseases caused by such foods.

He mentioned the nutrients in his meal.

“Okay Professor” she gave up. “I hear you”

“Won’t you have your wine?” she looked at his empty glass. Or is there some information about wine being unhealthy too?”

He laughed. “Touché” he said

He reached for his glass and before he poured the wine into it, he examined it closely the way a doctor would to a failing organ. Then he muttered. “The capabilities of bacteria are quite extraordinary”.

Zara dropped her cutlery down. She was getting angry now.

“I came here to have a blissful date, not an academic debate,” she said.

She envisioned both of them together but the vision was held in a leaf of spiky thorns. In such a relationship, she imagined she would be like his student and he, the headmaster. Red flags? Tons of them. What was she even thinking?

Now he was jittering about toothpaste and milk.

“I think I should start rearing my own cattle. Most of the milk products we use contain fluoride, in saturated amounts” he said

“Fluoride really?” he said “what’s fluoride got to do in food”

Zara sat there. He did not talk to people. Rather he talked to them pontificating on matters while she could only listen and absorb.

“That’s a death chemical,” he added.

“So many diseases are being caused by it. So terrible” he said, flushing down the glass of wine in his throat. At least he drank wine, Zara thought. There was hope.

Zara sat there holding the urge to run and run.

“I didn’t ask for this though” she said

“What?”

“The lecture. If I wanted to have this I would have come to your office”

He laughed

“What about sex? she asked. Can you give me a lecture on that? Tell me your favorite sex position”. If he could only give lectures then surely he could give the same on interesting and intriguing subjects.

Then came Professor Collin:

“I don’t have a favorite position” he said shyly as if he was ashamed.

“It’s not wrong to have one though but I think sometimes having that makes one unhealthily obsessed and manically interested in sex”

“I don’t get it? Everyone should have one. It’s necessary to be communicated about by partners in relationships and marriages”

“I get it but most times it’s the effect of pornography. It’s a cankerworm that has eaten deep into our society, burrowing into layers of our piousness”

He was as sanctimonious as an arrogant religious priest.

“It creates unrealistic sexual fantasies that can’t be met”

“Really?” she laughed, loudly. Her laughter carried the trail of bewilderment. Bewilderment not at competence or something applause worthy. But bewilderment that he could no longer think normally. He could only think in theories and data analysis.

“You know it’s funny how you can no longer think in imagery but only in facts and figures” she said in disappointment.

“Pretty lady don’t be a doubting ignoramus” he said and this jarred her. “There are things you must know to save your life,” he said.

“Ignoramus?” she quipped.

She was done. Then as if emboldened, she  got up, “If you’d excuse me I could use the restroom”

She ran out of the restaurant and began ordering her uber ride back home.

In the hotel foyer, she saw Nat at the lounge with a man in suit talking business. She locked shocked eyes with him

and quickly turned her face away.

Nat saw her. He excused himself from him and charged towards her

“Zara stop running” he stopped her

“Zara”

She smiled now

“What you doing here?“ he asked

“Here for a date” she said arrogantly, flinging her hair and smiling unnecessarily.

“A date?” he laughed

“Well I hope you enjoyed it. You don’t seem to be with anyone? The man couldn’t even chaperone you home”

She felt the arrow of mockery but it was the truth.

“Anyway, just saying hi” he concluded.

“My brand would be launching this week”

She gave him an invitation card as an augury to prove that she had indeed moved in and did not need him. She had a victorious look.

“I’d be there” he assured her

She exited the hotel, through the mechanical slide door.

Back home she could not stop thinking about her date experience. It felt like something she could write an article about, she would be thrilled to have it published in a magazine for women.

Collin was so academic and philosophical that he was focused by the evils and the plagues of the world that he could no longer love.

She took a deep breath and got into She ran out of the restaurant and began ordering her uber ride back home.

In the hotel foyer, she saw Nat at the lounge with a man in suit talking business. She locked shocked eyes with him

and quickly turned her face away.

Nat saw her. He excused himself from him and charged towards her

“Zara stop running” he stopped her

“Zara”

She smiled now

“What you doing here?“ he asked

“Here for a date” she said arrogantly, flinging her hair and smiling unnecessarily.

“A date?” he laughed

“Well I hope you enjoyed it. You don’t seem to be with anyone? The man couldn’t even chaperone you home”

She felt the arrow of mockery but it was the truth.

“Anyway, just saying hi” he concluded.

“My brand would be launching this week”

She gave him an invitation card as an augury to prove that she had indeed moved in and did not need him. She had a victorious look.

“I’d be there” he assured her

She exited the hotel, through the mechanical slide door.

Back home she could not stop thinking about her date experience. It felt like something she could write an article about, she would be thrilled to have it  published on a magazine for women.

Collin was so academic and philosophical that he was focused by the evils and the plagues of the world that he could no longer love.

She took a deep breath and got into the shower.

When she emerged. She replied Scott. She anticipated her next date. She was now like a desperate princess eager to get married to a a royal family to prevent the gossip of society. There was a longing in her, a void that she struggled desperately  to fill.

“Say dinner at 7” Scott texted.