Chapter 9

~Eliza~

I had been tossing in bed restlessly for about ten minutes now.

It was admittedly still too early to sleep, but I couldn’t bear the silence of the house anymore. My own thoughts seemed too loud and they were starting to suffocate me.

Or maybe it was just my mind trying to keep me from experiencing another nightmare. It always started the same way.

I would be in a car, driving down an empty highway, and suddenly, a car would ram into mine out of nowhere. Then nauseating pain would cramp my stomach and when I looked down, I would see blood.

Somehow, in the nightmares, I never seemed to be able to move and save myself from the wreck. It was as if something or someone was holding me back. Then I would wake up, the pillow already wet with my tears.

They were becoming more frequent now, and I knew the loss I just suffered triggered them. The first few months after the crash were the worst.

I would jerk awake in a cold sweat, screaming for help to save a baby that was already gone. In the cold, dark, silent room, I would break down and wish to go back in time.

The next morning, Daniel would claim that he had been too exhausted to hear anything. I would force a smile and tell him it was fine even though nothing was.

While I tried to understand that he needed his rest, I still wanted, no, needed my husband’s presence. I never had that.

Until the night he had stumbled into my room, after spending time outside with friends I had never met, drinking.

He had been drunk and seemed to be in a happy mood. I had been lonely and desperate for my husband’s affection. We conceived our second baby that night.

Only to lose it mere weeks later… because of Daniel’s greed and selfishness.

I let out a shuddered breath and turned on my side to stare at the muted glow of the single lit lamp in the room.

Slowly, my hand drifted to my flat stomach as a tear slid down the side of my face. “I’m so sorry, baby,” I thought.

My eyes burned terribly and there was a lump in my throat that refused to leave. The emptiness in my chest that I tried to ignore throbbed hard, as if to let me know that it never left.

“I’m sorry for not being careful enough. I’m sorry for letting that man deceive us for so long,” the last word ended on a sob and a hitch in my voice.

Maybe the guilt I felt was also in part because of the thought I had carefully kept buried in the deepest corner of my mind these past few weeks.

I might be a horrible person for thinking it, but as much as I wanted a child, maybe it was for the best that I didn’t have a child binding me to the man who had hurt me so badly.

Another hot tear rolled out as I covered my mouth with trembling hands. This was what my life had turned into.

Only four years ago, I was happily married and expecting my first child. But now, I was divorced, nearly penniless, and married to a man who had once betrayed me. I was stuck between a rock and a hard place.

And I had no one to talk to. No mother, and my father had not even returned my call. So, yeah, I was literally pretty much alone.

It hadn’t taken long for me to understand that Atlas was deliberately avoiding me like I had the plague. I was starting to really question why exactly he married me in the first place.

No one could be so magnanimous for no reason, after all. Unless he was trying to make up for his mistake six years ago, which was a moot point.

Cheating was an absolute deal-breaker for me and he had done exactly that.

I inhaled deeply and forced back more tears as I shifted to sit, leaning against the headboard. I wiped my face and tried to take stock of the positive things I had going on for myself.

First, I had Atlas help and hopefully, he doesn’t change his mind or anything. But in case that happened, the private investigator had agreed to help me track down my grandmother for a small f*e. It would eat up most of my savings, but I had to.

What else?

I went blank and couldn’t come up with anything else. Realising just how little and nearly non-existent the good things were in my life was a decidedly humbling feeling.

Slowly, I threw back the covers and got up. I might as well do something else to fill my time, just like I have been doing, to avoid thinking about my life anymore.

I glanced at my phone screen. The time was twenty minutes past nine, just enough time to get a drink and snack from the bar I had seen about three blocks away when I first came here.

With a soft sigh, I headed into the bathroom to splash some water on my face.

***

Thirty minutes later, I was sitting in the back corner of the bubbling bar. My hands were covered by my ratty, green, long-sleeved sweater and wrapped around a mug of hot cocoa drink.

The bartender had given me a curious once-over when I placed my order and I fought the urge to burst into tears.

I just wanted something hot to sip on while watching other people living their lives without feeling like I was drowning, alright?

And that was what I was doing. I never used to have the time to just sit and do nothing before I first got pregnant. I was usually busy with work, and even later on, I got involved with preparing for the baby’s arrival.

After… everything, it was all I could do to keep my head above water and not sink into crushing depression.

But now? I had all the time in the world to do whatever. Only that nothing interested me much anymore. I felt like I had been hollowed out and discarded.

God! I really hoped the PI found something meaningful soon. Like really, really fast. Otherwise…

“Hey, girl!” A cheery voice squealed, and I raised my head.

My jaw dropped. I blinked multiple times, waiting for my brain to step up and make sense of what I was staring at.

But the harder I looked, the more incredible the woman who had spoken was.

She was a gorgeous brunette with model-worthy hair hanging almost to her hips. Her face was dainty and stunning with a tiny, rosebud mouth and a pert nose that was slightly tipped up.

She looked like she had just stepped out of the covers of a magazine, even though she had a waitress’ apron tied around her waist.

“H-hello. Do I know y-you?” I stammered after my tongue finally unlocked itself.

She reared her head back, her brows shooting up high on her forehead. “Eliza, come on. You don’t remember me?” she asked incredulously, and my confusion worsened.

I shook my head, scrambling to recollect where I could have met this beautiful woman. “No, I’m sorry, I do—”

She let out an impatient huff, tossed her hair back, and pointed a finger at her chest.

“It’s me, Aria!” she exclaimed, beaming at me.

My eyes widened in recognition as I inhaled sharply. “A-Aria?”