2

Chapter Two

Sophie Clarke

•••

The sound of the door slamming still echoed in my ears long after he was gone.

I stayed on the floor, my knees weak. My eyes burned from the tears. I didn’t think I’d stop crying but I did, eventually. I just sat still, the papers were still there, soaked with my tears, unsigned.

I reached for my phone with a shaky hand to dial the number of the only person I could think of, my best friend.

“Amanda,” I whispered as she answered the phone. “He’s gone, he handed me divorce papers.”

There was a pause on the other end of the line. I could tell she was shocked by what I had just said.

“Sophie, what is going on?” She asked curiously.

When I was done explaining everything to her, she continued. “Please don’t stay there, come to my place. You shouldn’t be alone right now. If you want me to come get you, I surely will.”

My throat tightened as I blinked fast, refusing to let the tears win. “I can’t, Amanda. He’ll come back, he just needs time,” I said with so much certainty as I stared at the slammed door.

“Sophie, he gave you divorce papers. There’s no going back, he doesn’t deserve you. Please don’t do this to yourself.”

I pressed my lips together, fighting the sob rising in my chest.

“Sophie, can you hear me?” She added softly when I didn’t respond. “Should I come get you?”

“There’s no need for that, I’ll be fine” I answered, finally forcing the lies out of my lips. “I just need time, we just need time. I need to think.”

She inhaled sharply, “Think?” Her stunned voice echoed through the other end of the line. “Soph you’ve been thinking for three years, it’s time to walk away. He doesn’t love you, don’t give yourself up for him.”

“Amanda, it’s enough,” I said out loud.

“Soph, I am just trying to say…”

I hung up before she could complete her sentence, not because I was angry but because every word she spoke pulled another tear from me.

“Please…come back, Alexander,” I muttered to myself.

Then a knock came at the door. My heart leaped for joy, I wiped my tears, and rushed to open it with excitement.

“I knew he’d come back,” I whispered.

“Ale…” I said joyfully as I opened the door only to find the maid standing there. “Oh, it’s you, Lucy.” The excitement left my body immediately.

“Madam, are you okay?” She asked softly.

“Yes, I’m fine, Lucy,” I whispered, forcing my voice to be steady.

“Madam, are you sure? Do you need anything.?”.

Her gentle eyes met mine, trying to hold back my tears. I quickly turned away. “I said I’m fine. Get back to your work.” My voice came out harsher than I wanted but I couldn’t help it.

She gave me a faint nod before walking away. I felt bad for talking to her in that manner, but I couldn’t control my emotions.

The door clicked shut and the silence returned but heavier this time.

“You need to get yourself together, Sophie. Everything will be fine. Alexander will be back in no time.” I murmured the words, hurting, broken but still trying to believe them.

I leaned against the door, my body weak and the papers still in my hand, soaked. I slid down to the floor and hugged my knees, staring at the side of the bed he used to occupy.

I told myself I wouldn’t cry anymore but my heart didn’t listen. The tears came again hot but soundless.

A notification sound came from my phone. I got up from the floor in a hurry hoping that it was Alexander.

Immediately I opened the phone, my smile faded. It was a message from my best friend, Amanda.

[Sophie, I’m sorry if I made you upset with my words. I don’t just like seeing you in such conditions, It breaks my heart. You said you needed time, right? So I’ll give you time. But please promise me you won’t hurt yourself. Take good care of yourself, I love you.]

I stared at the words for a moment. My thumb hovered over the keyboard, unsure of what to say. I wasn’t okay but saying it out loud would make it seem real.

“It’s fine, I love you too,” I finally typed then, erased it.

I sighed and set the phone face down, hoping he’d text next and say he’s sorry.

I buried my face in the sheets, Alexander’s words still weighing on me until I drifted off to sleep.

When I opened my eyes again, I saw that it was already evening. My head ached, the kind of dull ache that comes from crying too long and sleeping too little.

The room felt colder than usual.

I pushed myself upright, my body stiff and weak. Seeing the divorce papers on the floor where I left them, made me realize I was back to reality.

There was still no message from Alexander. But I hadn’t given up yet.

My stomach grumbled, reminding me that I hadn’t eaten all day. I couldn’t believe that a day would ever come when I would forget to eat because of my husband.

I dragged myself to my feet, walked towards the kitchen, and poured a glass of water. I took a sip, hoping it would calm me down, but it didn’t. Nothing did.

The growl came again.

I leaned against the counter, pressing a hand to my flat aching stomach. I didn’t even have the appetite to eat because food wasn’t going to solve my problem or make me happy.

I walked towards the refrigerator and opened it, the fridge was cluttered with untouched leftovers, reminding me of the dinner that never happened. My heart throbbed in my chest.

I had to eat something but I couldn’t.

I heard the maid coming out of her room so I quickly returned to mine. I didn’t want her to see me like this, it was embarrassing. I felt ashamed.

I shut the room door behind me and took a deep breath.

I picked up my phone again, staring at his contact. I wrestled with myself, torn between calling him or letting the silence speak for me. A part of me wanted to hear his voice, the other part was terrified of what he might say.

I wondered what he might be doing, what might be keeping him busy on a Saturday. Alexander was usually busy with work but weekends were exceptional for him, so I found it strange that he wasn’t even at home.

Then I thought of his best friend, Samuel. Alexander and Samuel had been friends since childhood. I always admired their bond. They always hung out together, especially on weekends when no one was working.

I figured I could ask Samuel if I needed Alexander’s location. I fought the urge to call him but the longer I waited, the heavier the loneliness felt.

At the end, I decided to call Samuel.

I called him and pressed the phone closer to my ear.

He answered on the third ring, his voice calm. “Hello Sophie, how are you?”

I paused, trying to find the right words to say. It seemed like he had no idea about what was going on, that we were getting divorced.

“Hello…?” Samuel prompted.

“Oh, hi Samuel, I need a favor from you.” I finally managed to say.

“Okay, go on.”

I let out a deep sigh, “I need Alexander’s location, it’s urgent. Please.”

There was a pause. That was when I realized that he knew something.

“Samuel, can you hear me?” I called out. “You can just tell me where he is.”

Samuel took a deep breath, “Sophie, I didn’t want to be the one to tell you this but he’s not going back. It’s over, you need to move on.”

My heart shattered.

“You don’t know that, he’s coming back. We just need to talk. So please, I need my husband’s location.” I spoke with a tone that left no room for argument.

“I’m just going to tell you this and you’ll decide if you still want to fight for him.”

“Please, Samuel. Just tell me where the hell he is.” My desperation was slowly turning into frustration.

“Fine, if that’s what you want. But you’re wasting your time. Your husband, Alexander, is with his ex-fiancée so don’t bother looking for him.”

Without hesitation, I hung up, feeling ashamed. The man I had been waiting for has been with his ex all this time.

Calling Samuel was a mistake, I had hurt myself more than I already was. But even after all that, Samuel still sent his location. I swallowed hard as I contemplated going over to the hotel where he was.

I knew it was a terrible idea but I couldn’t stop myself.