Chapter 18

Emily POV

Imagine planting a seed and watching it grow—from the first green shoots fighting to break though the earth, to the colorful flowers popping their buds as the roots become stronger and colonise their place in the dirt.

My mom used this analogy once when I asked her what it was like having kids. It was one of the few tender moments we shared as mother and child. Being the nurturing kind wasn’t her strong point. But then again, neither was being a parent.

I often think about what she said, knowing I didn’t have the chance to see my own son take his first steps or say his first words. It’s his fifth birthday today. Every year, like clockwork, I make him a cupcake and light a candle. I sing “Happy Birthday” and then send a silent prayer into the heavens, hoping he’s happy, healthy and safe.

I often try to picture what he looks like at different stages of his life. Does he have my brother’s goofy grin? Who are his friends? Does he ask about me?

Before leaving the apartment, I tak