Chapter 12

Kyra

Julie woke up around 8 a.m. Her ballet class started at 9 a.m., but it seemed that someone woke up feverish. She didn’t get out of bed, remained drowsy, and had difficulty breathing. I remembered the rules, the room, and the possible asthma attacks.

I panicked. But I couldn’t falter, not now.

"Julie, my love. How are you feeling?" — I couldn’t let her be terrified too.

"I’m tired, Kyra. My head hurts a lot and my eyes too."

Then, I began to feel my heart race, and without hesitation, I picked her up in my arms and did what Liam had instructed so many times.

The living room smelled like a hospital, her bed was already prepared, with all the devices at her level. Everything precise, well thought out.

I laid her down, put the oxygen on as instructed. Measured her blood pressure, her temperature, and on top of everything, medicated her. I called the doctor whose number was scheduled, and to my surprise, he answered in the blink of an eye:

"Good morning. What does little Julie present?" — Everything was planned and quick. Liam never stopped worrying about his daughter.

"She woke up drowsy and feverish. She was having trouble breathing, and I put her on oxygen and gave her fever medicine, she was at 38°C."

"Did she have any nightmares during the night? Or signs of restlessness during the night?"

"She had a nightmare in the middle of the night." — So that was it? — "Is that serious?"

"Let’s say she’s still adjusting to certain things. Julie is so sensitive for a two-year-old. She’ll be fine. As soon as she shows improvement, give her a bath and make her eat something. Then, put her back on oxygen and let me know. I’ll come when you do that."

"Alright. Thank you very much."

And there I was, sitting in the armchair next to the bed, watching her sleep again.

I did what Dr. instructed and noticed an improvement. She accepted to eat cereal with milk, which was already something. After that, I saw her smile and when she lay down, I called the doctor who didn’t take long to arrive.

I was changing when the intercom rang. It was the security guard, asking if I had allowed the doctor’s visit — that surprised me. I imagined it would be Liam’s responsibility — to allow it, and I didn’t imagine he wouldn’t be an old man, but rather, a man with great looks. First of all, I called Liam to inform him of what I was doing, but there was no answer to the calls, and I had no choice but to act quickly.

"Good morning, miss…"

"Kyra Lystem. You can call me Kyra." — he extended his hand for a light handshake, and I accepted.

"Nice to meet you, Dr. Rafael, neurologist and psychiatrist." — Was a psychiatrist really necessary? What exactly is wrong with the girl?

He went to the room and observed her from the door. His serene expression relieved me, that was already a good sign. He examined her and apparently, everything was fine… I accompanied him to the living room.

"Thank you for being so fast. I was just about to call Mr. Blackthorne." — I said, still nervous from the incident.

"She’s fine and will continue to be fine. The scare will pass. I believe by tonight, she will be okay. And… you were quick. Congratulations."

"Thank you, Dr. Rafael." — Part of me felt hate for having to pretend most of the time, and the other half knew I had to follow the script.

"Please, just call me Rafael." — I stood there, frozen in front of the scene happening right in front of me…

Liam

I didn’t announce that I was coming back, I just did it in the middle of the night. I don’t know what I felt, but I sensed that things were not very well with my daughter. I feel a discomfort in my chest, and now realizing that I could be a better person in her life. To give space for so much absence.

I arrived home without warning, and upon opening the door, I saw the little doctor gently shaking Kyra’s hand, and she reciprocating the gesture — just out of courtesy, perhaps. But I felt extremely uncomfortable with that. But, if he was present, the reason was always my daughter.

"What happened? Why didn’t you call me?" — I ignored both of them and went straight to Julie’s room.

She was sleeping, with the catheter in her nose and hugging her plush bunny. My phone was dead, the battery ran out mid-flight, and I didn’t have time for anything else.

I took a deep breath, trying to handle everything at the same time. The burden of being successful. Of being a good father and, worst of all, trying to be a better person is exhausting me. Kyra should have told me yesterday, when I called. Should have told me my daughter wasn’t well, and now… I feel like a terrible father.

"Excuse me, the doctor has already left." — She looked at me awkwardly. Not looking in my eyes, as if searching for the right words to say. "Do you need anything?"

"I need you to tell me when my daughter is unwell. You should have told me about this yesterday, when I called to check on both of you. Please, don’t do it again. Don’t call any doctor without my authorization, understand?"

"Yes, sir. Please, forgive me, but she wasn’t feverish and didn’t show any signs of breathing difficulties or pain last night. It all happened so… suddenly. Forgive me, it won’t happen again. I will notify in advance." — Her voice was too sweet. Too irritating, to the point of making me want to lose my mind over it.

"You can take the day for yourself. I’ll take care of her now." — She nodded and left.

"Yes, sir."

I watched her go to her room and leave a few minutes later. With a backpack on her shoulders and the usual empty look. She didn’t see me, but I saw her leave, eyes full of tears, and once again I felt like an idiot.

When I turned on the phone, there were many missed calls and several messages:

"Good evening, Mr. Blackthorne. Julie didn’t wake up very well, there’s something I wanted to tell you?"

"She was having trouble breathing. I put her on oxygen, measured her temperature, and gave her fever medicine."

"She ate a little and is already better."

"I didn’t know what to do. I called Dr. Rafael. He’s on his way."

"Please, respond to the messages. I’m worried."

"The doctor just arrived. Give me news."

I felt like an idiot.

Part of me wanted to call, or send a message apologizing, and the other half wanted to wait for her to return to apologize in person.