The Boy I Loved In Silence

My name is Jennaya Williams, but my friends call me Jenna. I am seventeen years old, and tonight, I was waiting for the one email that could change the direction of my entire life.

A few months ago, I applied for a scholarship to New York Montessori High School, one of the most prestigious schools in the city. The admission results were scheduled to be released at exactly 11:00 p.m., and I had been counting down the hours since breakfast.

No matter what I did, I couldn't keep my mind off it. I listened to music, read a book, and even tried watching a movie, but nothing worked. Every few minutes, I found myself refreshing the admissions page, hoping the results had been posted early. I made a promise to myself that I would stop checking every ten minutes, and then I broke that promise nine minutes later. By nine o'clock, my phone had become an extension of my hand. By ten, I had memorized the exact shade of gray the loading screen turned before it refreshed.

Finally, the clock struck 11:00 p.m.

My heart pounded so loudly that I could hear it in my ears. My hands trembled as I reached for my laptop.

My mom sat beside me while my dad walked into my room, his footsteps slow but reassuring. They had supported me throughout this entire journey, and I knew they were just as anxious as I was.

"No matter what that email says," my mom said softly, squeezing my hand, "we'll always be proud of you, Jenna."

I nodded, took a deep breath, and clicked on the email notification.

I closed my eyes for a brief second before opening it.

Congratulations, Jennaya Williams!

We are pleased to inform you that you have been awarded a scholarship and offered admission into New York Montessori High School. Please report on the scheduled date stated below.

For a moment, I couldn't believe what I was reading.

"I got in!" I screamed.

My parents wrapped me in the tightest hug, laughing and crying at the same time. Years of hard work had finally paid off.

My dad picked me up like I weighed nothing at all, spinning me once before setting me back down, both of us laughing too hard to speak. My mom already had her phone out, calling my grandmother before I even had the chance to catch my breath.

After the excitement settled and my parents returned to their room, I lay on my bed, staring at the ceiling with the biggest smile on my face.

Not only had I been accepted into the school of my dreams, but I was also going to attend the same school as my longtime crush, Carlton Fernandez.

I'd liked Carlton ever since the fifth grade.

We grew up in the same town, where almost every family knew one another. We even attended the same schools from kindergarten. Carlton had always been one of the popular kids, while I preferred to stay in the background. I was quiet, reserved, and kept mostly to myself, so it wasn't surprising that he had no idea who I was. I remembered the exact moment my crush started, a rainy afternoon in fifth grade when he gave up his umbrella so I wouldn't have to walk home in the storm. He never mentioned it again after that day, and I doubted he even remembered doing it. But I did. I remembered every detail.

Of course, I wasn't expecting anything to happen between us. My crush had always been nothing more than a harmless admiration from afar.

Thankfully, my childhood best friend, George Julius, also attended New York Montessori High School. Knowing George would be there made the idea of starting over a lot less scary. At least I wouldn't have to face everything alone.

For the first time in a long while, everything seemed to be falling perfectly into place.

Sleep completely abandoned me that night. I tossed and turned for hours, too excited to close my eyes.

Originally, I was supposed to leave for New York in three days, but I was so eager to begin this new chapter of my life that I begged my parents to let me leave the very next day. After a little persuasion, they agreed.

The following morning, I packed my belongings.

Leaving home wasn't easy. I was going to miss my parents, my neighborhood, and everything that had been familiar to me for the past seventeen years.

But every ending is the beginning of something new.

With my luggage packed and my dreams tucked safely inside my heart, my parents drove me to the airport.

After saying our emotional goodbyes, I boarded the plane.

As the aircraft lifted into the sky, I looked out the window and smiled. The city below shrank into a scatter of small lights, and somewhere in that scatter was every version of myself I was leaving behind. I did not know yet who I would become in New York, only that the girl boarding this plane would not be the same one who landed.

Little did I know that stepping onto that plane wasn't just the beginning of a new school.

It was the beginning of a brand-new chapter of my life.