Chapter Nine: Hypocrite

Caleb 

There’s a box at the front of the door when we get to the apartment hours later, propped up against it and tipped halfway. 

“Ouuu—” Anna lets go of my hand and rushes over to pick it up. “Is it yours? What is it?” She turns to me, shaking the package all excitedly before I can tell her it doesn’t belong to me because I haven’t ordered anything. 

She figures it out herself when she turns it over, trying to look for clues and sees Ryan’s name. 

“It’s for your fake boyfriend,” she says dryly, tossing it to me. I manage to catch it with one hand, careful not to let the bag in my other hand fall. The one with the cake she baked—raspberries and chocolate, my favorite. 

I shake it a little, just out of curiosity, but I quickly tuck it against my waist and the crook of my arm when she frowns at me. “It’s an invasion of privacy,” she tells me. “Even if he’s your fake boyfriend.”

I’m not sure if she’s on his side—and I doubt it seriously. 

“I wasn’t going to.”

She rolls her eyes playfully. “Sure. You don’t know if he has something that’s not meant for your eyes in there.”

“Something like what?”

Anna purses her lips, tapping her chin. “I don’t know, like…” her eyes gleam with mischief for a moment, “…a sex toy?”

I groan, shaking my head.

“What?” She laughs, feeling proud of her joke as she walks over to me. “It might be a sex toy. I know I’ll get one if my roommate was having sex and I couldn’t get any.” 

She grabs the keys from my pocket and walks back to the door, swinging her waist and flipping her hair over her shoulder. 

I hang back, without meaning to, as she walks into the apartment, my gaze returning to the package. 

A sex toy? 

I read the label for a description, but the only thing it says is “fragile.” The sending address doesn’t sound like a place that sells adult toys either. But for some reason, Anna’s words stick in my head and I find myself picturing Ryan using a sex toy. 

Down there, I feel a little jerk. 

I shake my head vehemently, tossing the image out. 

“Get your head out of the gutter, Caleb,” I grunt in annoyance, striding to the door and marching in. 

I stop, a few steps into the apartment, my gaze zeroing in on Ryan in the dining room, my brows furrowing. 

“What…” I shake my head slowly, trying to put together what I’m seeing. Or figure out what’s going on, really. “…what are you doing?”

Ryan looks up from the duffel bag that’s open on the table, his lips flattening when he sees the package in my hand. “That belongs to me,” he says coldly.  

“I picked it up for you,” I explain, as I walk over to the dining area to hand it to him. Music comes from my room, the sound blasting through the walls. Ryan spares my bedroom door a split-second look, and even though I can’t see his face, I watch his shoulders tense for a second before they loosen. 

My mind goes back to that night, and the familiar weight settles in my chest before I can push it away. 

My fingers tighten around the edge of the package before I finally set it down in front of him.

“I didn’t mean to—” I start when he turns back, but the words catch in my throat. I swallow and force myself to look at him again, only to find that I can’t quite bring myself to meet his eyes for more than a second.

“Never mind,” I murmur.

He picks up the package and I glance into his bag—more puzzled at the clothes that are neatly folded and other stuff that looks like…

“Are you going somewhere?” I question. 

“Why does it matter to you?” He snaps, even colder. 

Why? 

Because we were roommates. Because… “I just thought you’d want me to know in case someone came looking for you for something,” I say, trying to act nonchalant with a flick of my shoulder. “Plus, if you’re going to be gone for a while, I should know what to say if there’s a situation where your name comes up.”

Ryan scoffs under his breath as he tucks the package into his bag. “I doubt that’ll happen,” he says. “It’s not like anyone cares about our fake relationship anymore.”

He’s right. 

The heat has significantly died down compared to when we started “dating.” That's why Richard has no idea that I'm dating a boy. Supposedly. 

But I know that my dad is trying to secure a deal to purchase a company…and his parents are always involved in one newsworthy thing or the other. And that inadvertently leads to us getting public attention again. 

“So,” I say, hesitantly, “can I know where you’re going, at least?”

He shrugs as he zips the bag. “It’s not important.”

Not important? 

It was the kind of thing we told each other. 

Why was he pushing me out? I take a step closer, placing a hand on his arm, but he shrugs it off roughly, his eyes flashing and his chest heaving. “Don’t—” he grits his teeth. “Don’t touch me.”

“I—“ I blink several times, confused by his reaction. “Did I do something wrong?”

I realize how wrong the question is as soon as it leaves my mouth—how hypocritical it sounds to even ask it—but it’s too late. 

Ryan scoffs as he leaves his duffel. He turns to me, his brows slanted and his arms crossed. “I didn’t know, Caleb, what do you think? Did you do something wrong and now I have to leave because of it, or am I just going on a trip and I don’t think it’s your business to know any of the details?”

“Ryan—

He doesn’t let me finish. Although I’m not sure what I’m going to say, either. 

“I’m going to be out of your hair, Caleb. So you don’t have to deal with the inconvenience of leaving your apartment at night. And maybe,” his voice softens, but with sadness, “I’ll find some other place to move into.”

Move? 

He grabs his bag, but I grab his wrist before he can walk away. “What are you doing?” I hiss. “I didn’t say anything about not wanting you here.”

Ryan smiles, but it doesn’t reach his eyes. “You didn’t have to. Walking away after you had your hand down my pants was enough to send a clear message.”

“You—“ I grit my teeth, struggling to find the words. “You can’t expect me to do anything about that, Ryan. You know that’s not what I am.”

His mouth falls open in disbelief. 

Then he scoffs incredulously, yanking his hand free. “What you are is a hypocrite, Caleb." He chuckles mirthlessly. "And you certainly enjoy being an asshole, too.”