chapter 11

As Lawrence packed in bags and took all his belongings with him and left I was grief stroking with pain and anguish. Allen who was still here at my house came and sat across from me trying to talk and console me. saying he's not worth your tears please don't cry don't let that man take your joy and your happiness away from you. you are a beautiful strong woman with a beautiful soul.

Who did any everything she could to love a man who didn't deserve her. you sacrifice yourself just to make him happy any end he wasn't loyal.

but you will ultimate find someone else who would make you happy and give you everything need and your heart's desire.

I know it Allen was just trying to help get though my lost my pain I'm feeling now I just at the time didn't want to hear it so I ask nicely could you please leave. he frown but did as I ask but before he left he gave me his number then said call me if you need to anything and need some one to talk to or a shoulder to cry on I'm here always then he left.

I was monetary stunned for what he just told me he was being so nice and trying to be so attentive to my needs and trying to be there for me and I just told him to leave just like that. I shouldn't have said nothing now I'm sitting here all alone still feeling sorry for myself.

I cleaned up the kitchen put my food away then went upstairs took a shower put my pajamas on got in the bed and just cried myself to sleep. The next morning when I woke up I still was angry and sad I'm glad today was my day off from work because I didn't feel like doing anything. so I just laid in bed all day listen to Alexa playing old r&b songs like Fantasia if you don't want me don't talk to me go ahead and Free yourself if you don't want me don't talk to me go ahead to someone else. 

Then I heard beyoncé song come on listen to the song here in my heart a melody that's all a long time ago my time has come from my words to be heard they would not be push aside and not be heard. then the bridge came on saying I am alone at the crossroads I'm not comfortable in my own home I tried and try to say what's on my mind you should have known oh but I'm done believing you. I just stayed in bed listen to all these sad old r&b songs just to get over the hurt and pain that I was feeling I cried all day until I fell asleep again.