12

Really, inwardly I am recoiling at the overpowering stench of his old man aftershave and the clammy sweaty feel of his suit as he pushes against me a little possessively. Luckily, I am a practised hand at convincing ugly men that I want them naked, sweating all over me and it’s as easy as breathing.

‘’I may just steal you as my date.’’ I squeeze his arm and nestle closer in a very touchy-feely gesture, smiling adoringly. ‘‘Seeing as you appreciate my finer qualities. Alexi likes to tease my English-ness mercilessly, don’t you Muffin?’’ I flutter sweetly his way seeing that cool mask of indifference envelop his face as he tries not to stare directly at my arm in another man's. He has taken on the unreadable manner that usually means he is not a ‘‘Happy Chappy’’ while reaching for a glass from a passing tray.

I sigh inwardly and wonder if all men revert to children when it comes to sharin