The Coming of the Quiet Rain

When Jake came back, I had already booked an appointment for an abortion the next day.

I had been married to Jake for five years but never got pregnant.

A few days back, I found out that I had been pregnant for two months. I had thought about telling Jake about it during our anniversary as a surprise, but by the looks of it, he no longer needed it.

Jake put a bag on the table and came over to hug me. “Honey, I bought some congee for you. Eat it.”

I cast a glance at the bits of rice and the barely perceptible flecks of meat inside. How ridiculous.

These must be leftovers from a certain someone.

I avoided his touch and pushed the bag away.

“I don’t have any appetite.”

Jake just thought that I was not being honest and poured the congee into a bowl before delivering it to me.

“Stop kicking up a fuss, honey. Don’t you love this?”

The fishy smell from the cool congee crept into my nose, and I ran into the toilet to hurl.

Jake came over to pat my back, but I smacked his hand away and glared at him with teary eyes. “Don’t touch me!”

My repeated rejection made him angry, and Jake raised his voice in displeasure. “What exactly do you want?! I’ve already set aside my pride to make you feel better! Isn’t it enough?!

“I’m not even holding you responsible for those sarcastic remarks you left behind, and you just refuse to let this issue slide!”

His righteous behavior made it seem like I was in the wrong.

I stared at him in disbelief, and my voice quivered as I said, “Am I supposed to magnanimously congratulate another woman for being pregnant with my husband’s baby?”

Jake yanked his tie off in frustration.

“Winnie just wanted to have a baby to give her life a little cheer after Henry died. There’s nothing wrong with that. I’m also Henry’s best friend, so I have the responsibility of taking care of his wife and fulfilling all her desires.

“It’s not as if I really slept with her, anyway. I just donated sperm for her. Do you really have to kick up a fuss about something as small as this?

“You’re so unreasonable and jealous!”

Me? Jealous?

When Henry passed away, I pitied Winnie York for becoming a widow at such a young age, and I took care of her in multiple ways. I often asked her over to eat with us, and whenever any of her home appliances broke down, both Jake and I went over to repair it.

At that time, she would tear up and say that she would not have needed to bother us if Henry were still around.

I smiled and told her it was no trouble at all. This was just a small matter.

Jake had nodded at that, too. He said that she could just go to him if she needed help because he would never say no.

At that time, I thought that he was saying that because of his friendship with Henry. That was why he took care of Winnie so much after Henry died.

But later on, that concern changed.

Before I knew it, Jake started going to the supermarket alone with her to help her carry her groceries; he went alone to help her set up her shoe cabinet; and he went to buy ointment for her when she burned herself.

He never did these things for me when he was at home.

These things irked me, but Jake only said that he was just taking care of his friend’s widow, so I could not say anything else about it.

But to think that Winnie would even ask him to help her get pregnant!

Did he ever wonder about how awkward my situation would be after Winnie’s baby was born? That baby would call him Daddy and Winnie Mommy. What about me? What was I supposed to do about that? What was our baby supposed to do about that?

I wanted to talk about it with Jake, but when I heard his accusations on the phone, I no longer felt like doing it.

His current lack of remorse strengthened that resolve.

Jake vented all his displeasure and finally said, “Reflect on this and stop being such a petty person!”

He left with a slam of the door.

It was already late, and it was obvious where he was going to go.

Just as I expected, Winnie made another post not long after.

In the photo were Jake’s hands on Winnie’s stomach.

The caption was: The baby’s daddy came to keep both of us company tonight. He said that this is the only place where he can feel the warmth of a family.

As I stared at the photo, I laughed at my own stupidity. How could I not see that my marriage had broken down a long time ago?

From the moment Jake started treating Winnie as more than a friend, I should have known.

If that was the case, it was time to cut my losses early.