The insecurities we carry

Serenity,

"Are you alright?" Sunya, one of the Luna's personal servants, held out a candy toward me. "Here, take it before your blood sugar drops again."

I nodded quietly before taking it, my fingers brushing against hers for a brief second, warm and steady. I unwrapped it and shoved it into my mouth, the sweetness spreading slowly over my tongue.

My stomach still hurt from the punch. Luna hadn't restrained herself this time. The dull ache sat deep inside, pulsing with every small movement, reminding me exactly where her fist had landed.

"How did it happen? You have been working here since you got married two years ago. She never got that violent before," she asked, her brows drawn together with concern.

"No idea." My voice came out softer than I intended. I leaned back slightly against the wall, letting it hold part of my weight. "I was just watching them exchanging conversations. Just… like always."

Sunya tilted her head, studying me. "Maybe something else she caught in your eyes. Where were you looking? At Alpha?" Her voice remained gentle, careful even, but something in her words still stung.

A flicker passed through my expression before I could stop it. It was quick, almost invisible, but she caught it. She immediately raised her hands in defense.

"I am not accusing you of anything malicious," she said quickly. "It’s just… it’s not like you to suddenly become her target."

I took a slow breath, the candy dissolving against my tongue as I swallowed. "I might have that look sometimes. But not on him particularly." I shook my head faintly. "I was admiring how strong their bond was."

Sunya’s expression softened, her shoulders relaxing. "Have you fought with your husband again?"

I gave a small shrug, though the motion pulled at the soreness in my stomach.

"I don’t think I can carry the weight of this anymore." My fingers curled slightly against my dress. "It feels like I am always walking on eggshells." I paused, my throat tightening just a little. "He changed. The person I married… he’s not the same anymore."

Sympathy filled her eyes, and she opened her mouth to respond, but a knock cut her off.

"Girls. The guests have arrived. Come to the front entrance. Make sure you all bring the flower bouquets," the chief said as she stepped in. Her voice was sharp, efficient, until her eyes landed on me. She paused, her gaze sweeping over me in a way that made my skin prickle. "And Serenity, you stay here. It’s not appropriate for you to be there."

A brief silence followed.

"What do you mean by appropriate?" Sunya’s expression soured immediately. "This is the third time in the last two years you’ve said that."

The chief looked at her with clear annoyance. "You better zip it and come with me. Not everyone can be presentable."

Presentable.

The word landed quietly, but it sank deep.

A faint pause slipped through me, almost unnoticeable. My fingers tightened for a second before loosening again. Not surprise. Not even anger. Just something dull and familiar, like pressing against an old bruise that never fully healed.

"Presentable? What do you mean by—"

"It’s okay," I cut in, my voice steady, practiced. I gave Sunya a small look. "It has always been." The words came out easily, as if I had said them too many times before. "And I don’t think I can stand for long after everything anyway."

Sunya’s jaw tightened, her frustration barely contained, but she nodded. "You stay here. Don’t move. Eat whatever you want." Her tone softened at the end before she turned and followed the chief out.

The door closed with a faint thud.

I stared at it for a moment longer than necessary. The staff room suddenly felt too large, too quiet. The sweetness of the candy lingered, dulling the sharpness in my head, easing the faint dizziness that had been creeping in.

Even the doctor couldn’t understand what was happening to my body. For no clear reason, all kinds of unrelated, unfamiliar symptoms kept appearing, settling inside me like they belonged there.

I lay down slowly, careful of the pain in my stomach. My heart was beating faster than it should, each thump heavy in my chest. Luna hadn’t always been this violent, but her words had always been worse. Sharper. More precise.

Every she-wolf in this Packhouse either fell below their standard of beauty or was marked. The marked ones were the most beautiful among the servants. That included Sunya and a few others who were allowed to stand in front of guests, attend gatherings, and move freely through spaces I was never meant to enter.

Sunya had always been my quiet support. She carried candies, snacks, anything she could, knowing I could feel dizzy at any moment. She never made it obvious, never made me feel like a burden.

She was the closest thing I had to a friend here.

Even if I never said it out loud.

I drew in a sharp breath and closed my eyes. The mattress beneath me was softer than the one at home. A small, bitter thought crossed my mind. Thanks to Nolan’s irresponsibility with money, we had downsized everything. The apartment we lived in now felt smaller in every possible way, not just in space.

The dizziness slowly faded, leaving behind a heavy exhaustion. My eyelids drooped, too heavy to keep open.

Just as I was about to drift, a knock sounded.

"Serenity, can you go to the kitchen and deliver the drinks to the guest rooms?"

It was Butler Jean, his voice muffled through the door.

I pushed myself up too quickly. A sharp pain tightened my stomach, forcing a quiet breath out of me. "I will be there!"

"Okay. You can go home after that. Luna doesn’t want you here tonight."

"I see… okay."

The words came out flat.

I stood still for a moment before moving, steadying myself, then walked toward the kitchen. The distant sound of cars arriving echoed through the Packhouse. Guards lined the halls, their presence making the air feel heavier, tighter.

"Oh, Serenity. Come here!" Chef Boulder waved at me as soon as I stepped inside.

"I am here to deliver the drinks to the guest rooms."

"I know, I know. But first, tell me how this is." He grinned proudly, presenting a plate. "Buttered abalone and crab meat salad, with a hint of our best citrus."

I hesitated. "Are you sure? It’s for the guests."

"And you are my taster. Hurry up before anyone sees." His voice dropped playfully.

A small smile slipped onto my face. I took the fork, the warmth of the food reaching me before the taste did. No one here ever looked at me the way the others did. Not like I was something unpleasant to look at.

I took a bite.

The rich, umami flavor spread instantly, balanced by the light citrus that followed.

"Damn, Boulder," I said, a hint of genuine amusement in my voice. "It’s going to steal the show."

"I know, right?" He beamed. "Finish it quickly."

"I have to deliver the drinks first."

"Then go faster and come back. I can’t let my favorite customer leave hungry."

A soft laugh escaped me as I moved to the refrigerator, gathering the drinks.

"Did you hear that?" another servant walked in, her voice already buzzing with excitement. "They are looking for the Crown Prince’s cure. I heard he is cursed."

I paused briefly, glancing up.

Lycans… cursed?

"Yeah, I heard whoever gets close to him faints," another added. "Especially she-wolves."

"Is that why he didn’t enter the Packhouse directly?"

"Exactly. That’s why only the marked servants are allowed to serve them. What terrible luck."

Their voices blurred together after that. I turned away, focusing on my task. If I listened, they would go on for hours.

"Are you heading to the guest rooms?" one of them asked.

"Yes."

"Luna said they don’t like alcohol much. Add more beverages."

I nodded and left the kitchen, carrying the tray carefully.

As I walked down the hall, my gaze drifted toward the garden connected to the main Packhouse.

And then I froze. A figure stood there, tall, way taller than our Alpha. His back was facing me but by the look from behind, and the broadness of his back, he was definitely not a werewolf.

My breath caught.

He moved, and the light shifted just enough for me to see it clearly.

Blood.

His entire body was covered in it. Thick, dark, still fresh. Behind him, several she-wolves lay motionless on the ground.

"God…" The word slipped out of me before I could stop it. My feet refused to move, rooted to the floor.

He turned. Slowly.

A streak of blood ran across his face, cutting through his skin like a mark. His eyes, golden, locked onto mine.

My breath hitched sharply. Something pressed against my chest, heavy and suffocating. The air thickened, turning almost solid as it wrapped around me.

A dark aura crept along the ground, curling around my feet.

My knees gave out.

I dropped to the floor, the impact barely registering. I barely held the tray close to my chest, avoiding disaster.

But the aura itself choked me, making me gasp for air.

"Stop!" The word tore out of me, strained and weak. The pain in my stomach flared violently, spreading upward as my chest tightened further, squeezing the air from my lungs.

He stepped closer to the window, his presence growing heavier with each step.

"Who allowed a mere soul to look at my beautiful creations?" His voice was cold. Detached. Almost… curious.

And it felt like the air itself had turned against me.

" Do you have a death wish? Woman!"