Chapter 1

“He’s gone, Elizabeth,” her captain Charles Johnston tells her. Elizabeth blinks back her tears. Her face full of shock and disbelief. Her frozen stare interrupted by his words. “He left his badge,” Charles states as he lifts an empty envelope from his desk with a gold badge on top of it.

Elizabeth’s breath stops; her eyes trained on the badge. ‘It couldn’t be,’ she thought. ‘There’s no way.’ He wouldn’t leave her like this. No warning, no phone call, no letter, nothing. She was more than that to him. Or so she thought. He was always more to her. That was one reason why she was never able to have real relationships. She knew no one would ever compare to him.

Realization over where she was rushed over her. With her cheeks starting to flush, she takes one look at her captain and heads to the door. “I’m sorry, Liz,” she hears her captain say. She gives him a sad smile before making her way completely out of his office.

She takes a quick glance around the squad room. She lets out a quiet sigh. Everyone in the room were either busy working on cases or talking amongst themselves. She couldn’t bear to let anyone else see her this way, especially her fellow detectives. It was bad enough her captain had to see her practically break; she wouldn’t be able to handle anyone else giving her those same sympathetic eyes.

Elizabeth quickly makes her way into the nearest empty room. The tears spilling right as the door was shut. She let it all out. All the hurt, the disappointment, the emptiness; it consumed her. She barely registers the door behind her opening. With tears blurring her vision, she makes out a figure in the doorway. An overwhelming scent subdues her. She knows that smell. She’s loved that smell for the past 7 years. “Matthew!?” Elizabeth cries out in disbelief.

Elizabeth shoots up in bed, her breathing ragged. Sweat and tears mixing on her face. Awareness hits her. She was in her room. “Stupid dream,” she mutters out loud. He left 3 years ago, yet he still had this hold over her.

No matter how much she tried moving on, this nightmare plagued her. It was a constant reminder of a chapter of her life she didn’t want to remember. The dream always ended the same, with her looking up at him standing in the doorway. She yearned to know why he was there.

Her brain knew it was all a show, but it didn’t stop her from asking all sorts of questions. Why was he back there? Did he forget something? Was he going to explain everything? How did he know where I was? Her own questions overwhelmed her. It was pointless. It wasn’t even real, she reminded herself.

Her thoughts coming to halt when she hears her alarm going off. The glow of her clock filling the room. It was 6am. She needed to be at work by 8. She glances over her shoulder at the man in bed besides her.

His chest slowing rising with each breath. A sigh of relief escapes her lips. “He’s still asleep,” she thought to herself. A slight smile appears on her face. He was genuinely a nice guy. Always bringing her flowers, making dinner for her. “How did I get so lucky?” she thought before seeing him start to stir.

She quickly got out of bed and headed towards the bathroom. She hated waking him, especially with that dream. He was always supportive, but she could tell it was starting to bother him. They had started dating soon after Matthew left.

At first, he was just a distraction to the pain, but as time went on, she opened herself up more to him. They took everything slow, and he was a true gentleman to her. But as time went on, her heart still pulled to Matthew. He was gone, but she couldn’t let go of the hope that he would come back one day.

Every time she had a bad case, she would look towards the squad room doors praying he would walk through them. She wanted to hate him. To pretend he never existed. Part of her thought if she acted like he was never there, the pain would be less real, less engulfing. She wanted to be able to give her whole self to Evan. He deserved that in the least.

He deserved more than her. Someone who had their life together. Someone who wasn’t still in love with her old partner. Elizabeth sighs while looking back at Evan once more before closing the bathroom door. “Today will be a good day,” she tried reminding herself. It needed to be. She undresses and steps into the shower.

The scent of fresh coffee hits Elizabeth as she makes her way into the kitchen. Standing behind the counter stood Evan reading the morning paper. He takes a sip of coffee as he notices her standing in the doorway. “Morning babe,” he says handing her a cup of coffee, a sweet smile on his face. “Morning,” she says with a smile back, taking the cup from him.

She takes a long look at him. He was fully dressed in a grey suit with a black tie. His brown hair was neatly slicked back. His brown eyes glistening from the sun coming through the window. “Like what you see?” he chuckles. A smile making itself known on her face when their eyes meet. Elizabeth laughs. “Maybe just a little,” she says with a smirk.

“You look nice today. I didn’t wake you, did I?” she asks. “Your alarm,” he says while raising his eyebrows. His expression showing a little annoyance. “No worries though,” he says when he sees her demeaner change slightly. “I needed to be up early anyways. I have that big case today, remember,” he added.

Elizabeth makes her way to the table to grab a muffin. “Oh, that’s right. The Jeffry case,” she says while taking a seat. She was relieved he didn’t mention her dream. Today was not the day to have that discussion. She was in for a long day as well.

They were wrapping up on a big case today. A man had murdered his wife, and all they needed was his confession. They had the proof, but the guy’s confession would nail him in court. Elizabeth was good at getting suspects to confess, but this guy was a real piece of work. Classic narcissist with terrible misogyny. He was going to be tough to crack, but she knew her presence alone would rile him up. Hopefully enough for a confession.

“Yeah. Should be pretty open and shut,” Evan responded. “Good,” Elizabeth says giving him a soft smile and nod before he made his way over to her. He places a hand on shoulder, leaning in to give her a kiss on the cheek. “I’m gonna head out. You okay getting to work? I can give you a ride really quick.” “Oh no, it’s okay. I was thinking of stopping to get something for lunch anyways. You go ahead.”

He gives her a smile before heading towards the front door grabbing his coat from the rack. “See you at dinner. Love you.” “You, too. Bye.” she replies as she takes the last bite of her muffin. She stands up and makes her way to the sink to wash her hands. Something felt off. She couldn’t shake this feeling of nervousness. It was just another day. What did she have to be nervous for? She shakes her head and makes her way to the front door. She grabs her keys and slips on her coat.

The morning flew by. It was tough, but Elizabeth got her confession. Only took her an hour. A new personal record she smirked to herself. She was making her way back to her desk when she realized her badge was missing. She knows she had it on before entering the interrogation room.

She made sure it was in full view of Mr. Daniels. Seeing a woman in a position of power was sure to get him angry; angry enough to confess, she hoped. Sighing, she made her way back. Once inside, she sees it under the table. ‘The clip must have broken,’ she thought. ‘How did I not hear that?’

As she reaches for her badge, the door to the interrogation room opens. Her eyes open wide. That smell. Her body is taken over by shock. ‘It couldn’t be.’ She slowly turns her head towards the door looking directly at the man in the doorway. His big blue eyes were staring straight at her. “Matthew!?”