Chapter 57

Lillian

My jaw hung open. I shifted uncomfortably on the couch." You what?"

He chuckled." I'm kidding, I just wanted to see your reaction."

I felt a little bit of relief but my stomach kept roiling.

His eyes bore into mine." What? You don't believe me?"

I sighed;  I only partially believed him. Like who would believe him after seeing what he can do." After seeing what you can do? Nah, I don't think so."

     He shrugged and then opened his laptop.  The office fell silent and I picked up a magazine, trying to distract myself from the uneasy feeling in my chest.

This family was messed up. Father hates son, son hates brother. Brother enjoys violence and has serious anger issues. There's no relationship between them at all.

And Aiden, I don't know what he's up to. I rarely see him at the office, sometimes,  once a week. It was odd, given that he was always competing with Zayden, but now he just chilled out.

I shook my head, thinking of something that would keep me busy.

" Everything I do is for you." Zayden suddenly spoke, his eyes still on his laptop screen. " It's part of our deal, remember?"

I nodded, ignoring the tingling feeling in my chest."Speaking of which, what are you going to do after we divorce."

He stiffened behind the desk, his eyes falling on me for a brief second."By then,  I would have had more than enough shares to completely be in control." He said planiy.

I hummed." And what will people think about the divorce in such a short time?"

He crooked a brow." Would you like to extend the contract?"

I scoffed."six months is six months, and we will divorce after that." 

My tongue tasted bitter, and the word divorce made my mouth sour.

He nodded, his expression strained. He must feel uncomfortable talking about the divorce.

I cleared my throat,  feeling a bit awkward that we were talking about divorce when we were sleeping together like our lives depended on it.

I sighed, the only thing I've got to lose is good sex with Zayden.

" Are you busy?" I asked.

" Not really."

I straightened up." Then let's play a game."

He closed his laptop putting his eyes on me." I'm not a fan of games but sure."

I smiled, I might make him open up with this. He promised to tell me more about himself but the only thing he had said was that he grew up alone.

" It's called naked truth. Either I'll ask you a question, and you must answer honestly, or you'll tell me something no one knows about."

He snorted." That's interrogation. I prefer truth or dare."

I shook my head violently." We are not playing truth or dare, Never!"

He chuckled, the sound echoing deep in the office." Why not?"

" Because you are dirty minded and you'll dare me to do dirty things. I won't be surprised if you dare me to strip."

He shrugged, biting down on his lips as his eyes roamed my body. The action was sexy and it sent shivers down my thighs." You don't have to choose to dare."

I sighed." Fine, let's combine it then. Naked truth and truth or dare. I'll go first."

" Truth or dare or naked truth?" I asked him.

He smirked." Dare."

I almost rolled my eye.,  Zayden would never want to reveal anything about himself, but I'll make him.

" I dare you to tell me a naked truth."

He rolled his eyes." That's not how it works."

I stood up from the couch, walking over to his desk." It's still a dare."

He sighed." Fine, fine. The naked truth, I still watch you bathe."

I covered my mouth with my palms, my cheeks turned bright pink." I thought you stopped doing that."

He placed his hands on my thigh, drawing circles on them." It's already a habit. Truth, dare or naked truth."

I contemplated, he'll probably dare me to strip or suck his cock and I need answers right now.

" Truth."

"How did you meet Tyrell." He spoke and I tensed.

Taking a shaky breath I spoke." After I left my foster, home. I slept on the streets. Some group of thugs were going to harass me, and that's when he came. I was young and stupid. I thought he was a kind person, especially after he came to see me almost every day, and then he offered that he'd give me a place to stay if I helped me do house chores in return."

I paused, blowing out a breath." I didn't think at that time that it was weird for a grown-up man to give you a place, pay your tuition, and cover your expenses, all for merely house chores. I just thought, at least he helped."

I stopped talking, not wanting to go further yet, not until I've managed to get some words out of him too.

Zayden was staring at me, his eyes filled with worry." Don't feel pity for me. I brought him upon myself." I told him.

He squeezed my thighs." No one wants bad things to happen to them. It's not your fault."

My chest warmed up, but actually, it was my fault. I had the chance to back out. He gave me a chance to back out after I found out his true intentions.

I released a Shaky breath, my face brightening up." Alright, your turn."

He stared at me for a while before speaking."Truth."

My eyes widened." I wasn't expecting that."

He shrugged," It's only fair if I said truth."

What a considerate man." What happened between you and Aiden? Why do you hate each other's guts."

" That's two questions in one."

" Okay, just answer this one. Were you and Aiden always like this?"

He remained silent for a few seconds, staring into space  before speaking." No"

My curiosity heightened." Then what happened."

He chuckled."He thinks our mom loves me more than she did him, a lot of things happened because of that."

I pursed my lips, this is a start." I pick truth."

He raised a brow." How long did you live with Thomas?"

"I was adopted at ten and lived with him till I was sixteen."

He nodded, his eyes calculating.

" Naked truth this time?" I joked.

Surprisingly, he nodded." You want to know a naked truth?"

"Of course." I grinned.

" Naked truth, When you bumped into me the first time we met, the first thing I looked at was your boobs."

I tried stifling my laughter, but it came out wrong." Seriously? You've been a perv all along."

I made myself comfortable on the desk, placing my feet on his lap." I'll tell you a naked truth. I disliked you immediately; I hated you and your rude demeanour."

" What about now?" He asked, massaging my feet.

I paused, and we both stared at each other. What the hell was I supposed to say?

" Well, you could say I feel the opposite, although I still hate you sometimes." I shrugged.

He sighed. " so if you disliked me before then it means you like me now. And if you hated me before, then it means......" He paused, and I felt my throat run dry.

" It means you love me now, so which is it?" His expression didn't change. He was looking at me with those grey eyes like he was staring deep into my soul.

I swallowed, unable to pick words. I can't say I love him, it's forbidden." There is a thin line between love and hate, so I'll say somewhere in the middle."

He didn't look satisfied." You didn't answer my question. You feel the opposite, so which is it?"

His voice made my whole body quake.

Breath Lillian, breathe and try not to say anything stupid.

My brain wanted me to say something stupid like,' Oh, I think I'm in love with you even though I know you're probably a psychopath who can shove an axe through someone's skull and burn bodies like it were pancakes.'

I closed my eyes, carefully arranging my words." Like I said, somewhere in the middle. I don't hate you and I also don't love you. It's part of our contract remember? It's forbidden."

My words didn't feel convincing, even to me.

I saw his Adam's apple bob up and down, and I knew a question I feared so much was coming." If there wasn't a contract which would it be?"

The room fell silent with both of us staring deep, the room laced with tension.

I decided to play it safe." If there wasn't a contract, I wouldn't be here."

His eyes fell and a pang of guilt weighed on my shoulders.

" But, you're a nice guy. You have some flaws, though, a lot of them, and they are bad. So bad that most women would want to be with you only for money, but aside from that..."

I placed my hands on his shoulder, my heart racing at what I was about to say." If there wasn't a contract and you had fewer anger issues, I'd say I'll be in the process of falling for you."

My face burned in embarrassment.

It's just a speculation, Lillian. He asked a question and you gave him a theoretical answer.

There's no falling for him. You like him but not love.

Yes, not love.

It's forbidden.

His face remained devoid of emotion, and slowly, a smile crept on his lips.His features light up.

He was handsome." If this wasn't business, I think I might be in the process too."

Everything stopped moving, it was just us and our shallow breathing. I couldn't look away and he couldn't either. My poor heart was beating so fast I thought it would explode. My whole body was vibrating with a tingling sensation.

You had a deal with him, Lillian.

No love, no love, it's strictly forbidden!

He broke the stare first."Your turn."

I contemplated." Truth."

" If by any chance ......" He paused, swallowing.

He looked at me and then looked away." Would you..."

I raised a brow; what's so hard for him to say?

"If I asked you to ...um.... ".He stopped talking and I nearly died of curiosity.

He ran a hand through his hair." Change of question."

" No way, say whatever you want to say." I grabbed his hand, squeezing it tight." Come on, don't leave me on a cliff."

He chuckled." Now's not a good time."

I pouted," It's not fair."

He heaved a sigh." How long did you live with Tyrell."

I thought back to years ago. The old me would be sensitive about this topic but speaking to someone about it put me more at ease.

" For two years."

The room fell silent again with us staring at each other." This is not part of the game, but I want you to tell me everything."

I swallowed." It's a long story."

He coiled my fingers with his." I'm willing to listen."

I contemplated. Claire said to overcome your fears and traumas, you'll have to face them.

I think I'm ready to face them with Zayden.

" At first it was just doing the house chores in exchange for food. Then, one day, he suggested we should make a deal. He'll support me in all aspects, financially and all . In exchange, he gets to do whatever he wants with me. He had always been nice and caring. He would give me words of encouragement and even defended me when my foster father came looking for me. He said he cared about me, and I believed him."

I paused, glancing over at Zayden to find him intently staring at me.

I looked down at my nails, my breath slowly becoming irregular as I recalled memories.

" He made me believe that he was the only one who cared; in fact, he was the only one who cared, and he said it was because no one wants someone as worthless as me."

Zayden scoffed but didn't say a word. If he knew me six years ago, he'd agree without a doubt that I was as good as dead.

I continued." He said he'll pay my tuition and cover any other expenses as long as I let him do anything he wanted with me and I will be obedient to him."

"Did he touch you? " Zayden asked, his eyes flaring.

I chuckled but it didn't reach my eyes." Nah, he wasn't interested in my body. Trust me, you wouldn't be if you knew me back then.I was just a pack of bones."

I continued my story." I was naive and agreed right away without even asking what he wanted with me. Getting a chance to continue my education with someone to support me felt like hope. It wasn't until I saw it in the news one day when I went to the convenient store that I realised who he was."

I paused, my hands were beginning to tremble. Zayden placed his palm over mine and I relaxed a little.

" He escaped from prison and was charged with murder along with other crimes. Police reported that he was manipulative and his victims were mainly girls. At that time, I was still in shock to process what I saw."

I licked my parched lips, my throat felt dry." He already threatened Thomas with Shireen, and they couldn't care less about what happened to me. He knew I had seen the news somehow because it was everywhere: television, newspapers, magazines, billboards. It was even broadcast on radio one time while we were in the living room."

My hands were now shaking." That was when he started torturing me even when I promised not to rat him out."

The memories came flooding back like a nightmare, threatening to drown me in broad daylight. I was holding on to a thin rope here.

  I did not want to have a seizure, I haven't had one in months and my past was what triggered them.

" You don't have to force yourself to continue, we can talk about it some other time," Zayden assured me.

I shook my head." I already started, so I might as well end it."