Chapter 66

Lillian

He ran a hand through his hair, his eyes glued to me the entire time. He looked disoriented and flummoxed.

" You're what?" He breathed, his voice a low whisper.

My chest ached, he didn't sound happy." I'm....I'm pregnant."

He stared at me long and hard, his expression unreadable. This wasn't how I visualised the outcome. It was supposed to be a happy news. He was supposed to receive the news with open arms.

" Are you ......are you sure about this?" His brows furrowed.

I clenched my fists at my sides; the onesie, our baby's onesie, was still lying on the wooden floor.

My lips curled." Yes, I am."

He shook his head from side to side as if in denial.

I scoffed." What?...you don't want a child?"

He opened his mouth to say something but shut it right back. His jaw ticked, I could not understand why he was acting this way.

When he didn't say anything in response, I chuckled." You don't want a child with me? Is that it ?"

I bit down on my inner lip, waiting for him to say something; my eyes were beginning to sting. He still stood there, staring intently at me or rather I to space.

Then suddenly he tugged his hair and started pacing the balcony.

I watched him in confusion." Are you going to say something?"

He came to a halt, his eyes finding mine again. His expression was troubled." You're pregnant! You're carrying a child!"

" Can you stop acting like this?" I blurted out.

He came and stood in front of me." What am I supposed to do?"

I furrowed my brows." You were supposed to take the news like every other soon-to-be father would!"

He shook his head." Father? How am I supposed to do that? I can't be a father, I don't know how."

He began pacing again and then it suddenly occurred to me why he reacted that way.

I stopped him from pacing, placing his huge Palm in mine." I don't know how to be a mom either but I'll work through it, we'll work through it."

His chest heaved up and down as he stared at me." I'm not fit to be......I don't even......I'm all the bad words, Lillian."

I squeezed his hand." Don't say that, everything is a process. You'll learn, for now, to try accepting that in a few months, you'll have your replica in your arms."

I gave him a small smile, and he smiled back, but they didn't reach his eyes. I don't know if I was wrong, but I saw hesitation in his eyes.

Like he was holding back something. My stomach roiled, that feeling of impending doom boiling low in my abdomen.

I rested my head on his chest, expecting him to wrap his hands around me but he didn't.

I swallowed the painful lump in my throat and pulled away. He didn't look at me, he couldn't meet my gaze after.

The atmosphere changed for the rest of the evening. As we drove home, I felt like he was growing distant by the minute. We didn't speak to each other and Jade noticed the tension between us.

So much for wanting to surprise him.

I tried reaching out to him when we got back to our hotel but it didn't work. I couldn't understand why he was acting like this; we should be celebrating, not letting that annoying tension build between us.

If he was worried about not being a good father then that was understandable. I had no idea about this parenting stuff either but that wasn't enough reason to shut me off.

Everything came back to normal the next couple of days but there was this distance between us.

It's not like Zayden to avoid eye contact during a normal conversation. It's not like him to avoid any form of body contact.

I even suggested that we had sex, maybe it would reduce the tension between us, but he refused.

Zayden refusing sex? That was impossible, That's not the man I married.

His excuse was that it would be bad for the baby even though we knew all too well that sex during pregnancy was harmless.

Apart from that, he was really supportive but not in the way I wanted. Of course, he hired more house help, and I didn't lift a finger.

He even helps me bathe and blow dry my hair. I didn't complain because it was another opportunity to see if his high libido would kick in but it didn't.

Zayden was supposed to lose his senses the moment he saw my boobs let alone my naked body.

He did stare but he didn't touch. Even after I made several attempts to put him in the mood, it didn't work.

It was becoming annoying and frustrating.

I couldn't take it any longer so one of the days, I approached him while he was in the bedroom.

We had three more days before we went back to New Jersey, and I had planned a shopping spree tomorrow. I wanted him to go with me, but he was acting stubborn.

" Are you mad at me? Did I do something wrong?" I asked, standing a few feet from where he sat on the bed.

Without looking up from his laptop he replied." No."

I clenched my fist at the blunt response." Then why are you giving me the cold shoulder?"

He remained silent.

I bit down on my lip, my eyes were beginning to sting.

"Are you not going to say anything? Why have you been acting so distant?"

He remained silent.

My voice broke and I stared at him long and hard. The first tear slid down my cheeks. It wasn't my fault, just the pregnancy hormone kicking in.

I gritted my teeth, my blood thrumming in anger." Ever since I told you that I was pregnant, you've been acting like this. I thought you were supposed to be happy? If you don't want the child then just say so!"

He shut his laptop immediately." Fuck! " He cursed."I'm sorry." He said running a frustrated arm through his hair.

I blinked, more liquid sliding down my cheeks." You....you don't want a child with me?"

His eyes flew to me immediately." God! Of course, I do." Getting on his feet, he placed a hand over mine.

" Then why have you been so distant when I need you the most?" I asked, my voice broke.

He swallowed and then opened his mouth to speak." I've always wanted a child with you but I never thought about what comes after. It suddenly dawned on me that I .....I might not be able to play the role. I'm not ready to be a father, Lillian."

I sighed heavily." Is this what it has been about all these while? I don't know how to play the role either, but I'm going to have to,even if it means learning,and you have to do the same."

His shoulders slumped." We can work through this together. Don't distance yourself ever again from me! " I assured him.

Slowly, he nodded, and we pulled each other in for a hug.

" Naked truth? I poked holes in all the condoms." He suddenly spoke, chuckling deep into the crook of my neck.

My eyes widened and I pushed him off immediately." You horny bastard! I kept wondering why I got pregnant despite the protection."

He released a low growl." And I didn't pull out on purpose; I wanted you pregnant so that you would not be able to terminate the contract." He confessed.

My eyes were as wide as saucers." I hate you so much."

" I love you more." He placed a kiss on my temple while gently placing a hand on my tummy and I smiled in content.

We went shopping the next day to get some souvenirs and also some French baby supplies. It might be too early but I just wanted to get them while I was here.

As I walked around the mall, trying to find something that would pick my interest, my eyes landed on someone.

Sage!

She used to be slim but she looked like she had added a little weight. I don't know, nor do I give a fuck while she was in Paris, so I decided to mind my business.

Obviously, she didn't want that because as soon as we locked gazes, she flashed me a smile and began walking in my direction.

Jade growled beside me." Tell her to fuck off."

She stopped a few feet from me, her eyes searching." I sent you a little something." She said.

I creased my brows." I never said I wanted anything from you"

She shrugged." I just wanted to show you a little something. You think you're happy with him. Just wait and watch how your sweet little life is about to crumble."

I rolled my eyes, not the first time she was telling me this.

" I can't deal with a jealous bitch today, so get lost!" I said lazily.

She chuckled." Zayden is mine. We were supposed to get married. It was already planned until you came and ruined it; you think he loves you, but don't forget that your marriage was only based on his current circumstance at that time."

I clenched my fists, my knuckles itching to dig into something, preferably her face.

" You only succeeded in whoring yourself for him." She flipped her hair over her shoulders and turned on her heels.

" A peice of advice? Never try to fit in where you don't belong or else you'll be thrown out like trash ." And then she clicked her heels away.

Pausing after a few steps, she threw a glance at me. " Oh, I sent you something, check your phone."

My blood was boiling, I didn't let her words get to me and just searched for my phone.

I then remembered that I left it with Zayden in the waiting area.

Turning on my heels with Jade following behind, I headed for the waiting area, curiosity getting the better of me.