I watch as the rain comes down in sheets, battering against the windows, blurring the world beyond. Had this been a different scene, I would say it was beautiful, but that's far from the case. Inside the villa, everything is chaos. The room is a mess—furniture overturned, glass scattered across the floor, and something red that shouldn’t be there, is spread across the marble like a warning. I step over it, barely feeling the cold seep into my shoes.
My hands are shaking and I can’t breathe. I can’t think. I’m frozen, trapped in this moment that feels like it’s dragging on forever. I can hear his breathing, heavy and sharp. He is standing in the center of the room, a shadow of the man I thought I knew. His eyes are wild, watching my hand that's gripping a gun I never thought I would hold, and I’m shaking—terrified of what’s happening, terrified of what I’ve done.
“Renée,” he says, his voice breaking through the silence like a razor. I can’t tell if it’s anger or desperation. Maybe both.
I don’t know what to say. I want to tell him I never meant for it to go this far, that I never wanted this, but the words are trapped inside me. I look at him, my chest aching, and I know—whatever happens now, we’re not the same people we were when we walked into this room. I am not the same person I was, and I don't think I will ever get her back.
“You knew,” he says again, his voice rough, accusing. His eyes are locked on mine, demanding an answer. “You knew what this would cost us.”
What have I done? What have we done?
I shake my head, but it’s not enough to erase the truth from his eyes. The weight of his words is crushing, pulling me under, and all I want is for this nightmare to end. But it won’t. Not now.
“I didn’t have a choice,” I whisper, my voice barely a breath, barely a sound. The words taste like ash in my mouth. I didn’t have a choice. None of us did.
His gaze flickers to the blood staining the floor, the crimson path leading toward the door, and my stomach lurches. I hadn’t wanted any of this to happen, but there’s no turning back. There’s no undoing what’s been done.
The sound of sirens pierces the air, distant but growing closer. I can’t see them, but I can feel them coming, like the weight of inevitability pressing down on me. My pulse is thundering in my ears, and I wonder if I can outrun this, if I can outrun what’s coming for us.
Alessandro steps toward me, and the gun in my hand trembles. His lips are parted, but no words come. I can feel the anger and the betrayal radiating off him, and I know that whatever happens next, it will destroy us both. He’s already lost me.
“Run,” he says, his voice cracking. “Before it’s too late.”
I want to move, to do something, anything to fix this, but I’m rooted to the spot, locked in place by fear and by love. I can’t run. Not from him, not from what’s coming. I can’t outrun this.
I shake my head, "No," My lips tremble as the word comes out.
And when I meet his eyes, I know. I know we’re both in this together, even if it kills us.
###########
The scent of vanilla frosting and fresh-cut flowers lingers in the air as I bend to fix Luca’s bowtie. Not that Luca. The newer, chubbier, clingier one—Luca Alessandro Jr. Today is his first birthday, and true to form, he’s both drooling on my silk blouse and trying to eat the edge of his party hat.“I named you after a man who feared bibs,” I whisper, chuckling as I wipe his chin. “Don’t disappoint your namesake.”Alessandro is on the phone a few feet away, murmuring something in Italian. I recognize the clipped tone—it’s a business call, Mafia business, which he promised wouldn’t interrupt today. But of course, it has. It always does.I shift baby Luca onto my hip and scan the garden. Rosie is running barefoot on the grass, her curls bouncing, chasing Tim, who’s shrieking with laughter and clutching his juice like it’s his last defense. Alberto is seated under the gazebo with his ske
I think when I suggested we elope and get married, it didn't cross my mind that we would both want this so desperately.We are running late.Not for anything grand. Not for some dramatic scene with tuxedos and white gowns. But for a quiet moment we’ve promised each other—just us, a judge, and the kind of silence that feels like forever.It's happening. And I'm over the moon, but still, there's a little part of me that's scared. The last time I tried to get married, I lost my husband. I know that we are keeping this a secret, which means no one will try to stop it, but still. The unhealed, traumatic part of me is a little scared.But here we are, regardless.I’m still laughing when we get into the car. Alessandro is double-checking the documents for the fifth time like the world might conspire to keep us from saying I do. Dell and Tati are already in the backseat, bickering over who should’ve brought the champagne.&ld
They say time heals all wounds, but I want to disagree. It heals, sure, but not all wounds. Just parts—small parts.It's been months since I finally accepted that Luca was gone. That that was a love I got to enjoy for a moment, but it was gone now. I did get back to therapy. I don't go as regularly as I used to, but I got the help.I don't see him in my dreams anymore. But that's fine. Because I learnt that if I wanted to let him go, then I had to let him go in my dreams as well.I’m better now. Not perfect—no one really is after death brushes past your doorstep and lingers like smoke in your lungs—but I’m better. I’m breathing again without that tightness in my chest, the one that made every exhale feel like grief. The kind that wraps around your ribs and whispers, “You shouldn’t be okay yet.”But I am. Because I’m allowed to be. Because Alessandro—my Alessandro—didn’t let go o
The hospital waiting room hums with muted voices and distant beeping. I sit stiffly on the edge of a plastic chair, arms crossed tightly over my chest, staring blankly at the tiled floor. Dell's parents are here, as are Bella and Alessandro—though the only one I’ve been carefully avoiding eye contact with is him.It's been hours.I know labor takes long, but I didn't think we would be here the whole day. It's almost eight in the evening, and still there's no news from the doctors.Everyone else seems to be relaxed except for Bella and me. They say this is how it happens, so they aren't worried. But I am, given I'm the one person close to Tati's relative here. Her parents did call from back home and said they will be taking the next flight here. So I know she will get more moral support than the little to none that I can offer.They're across the room, speaking in hushed tones, but I can hear her. Alessandro’s mother. Laughing softly as s
I unfold the letter with trembling fingers. The paper is slightly worn, the edges soft like it’s been handled too many times before it got to me. It's so obvious that Alessandro didn't handle it well when he read it. I don't even know why he would read it when it was clearly addressed to me. My heart is thudding in my chest—fast, heavy, uneven. I don’t know what I expect this letter to say. I don’t even know if I want to know.But I asked for this.I asked Tati to come. Told her I couldn’t do this alone. And when she asked if she could bring Bella, I said yes. Of course I said yes.Because they’re my people. My chosen sisters.I know Bella and I have been distant these past years, but it was never quite a fallout. I think we just followed different paths, so I'm glad that she is here.They sit quietly on either side of me now—Tati’s warm hand on my knee, Bella’s arm looped around my shoulder lik
"Truth or Dare?"I smile."Truth.""Do you still love Alessandro?"I swallow hard. I always knew this question was going to come eventually. I mean, I did tell him six months into us dating that he can ask me that question again after a year of us dating. It's been a year and a couple of months. I thought he would have forgotten about that by now.I take a sip of the drink because I don't know how I'm supposed to answer that question. My feelings for Alessandro were complicated, and I don't want to lie by telling Luca that they are no longer there, because they are."I guess that answers it," he says, his face fallen."Luca...""It's okay, let's continue with the game," he says dismissively, and I sigh and move closer to him and take his hands in mine."I love you," I whisper.I can see the doubt in his eyes. It's always been there, even after I've told him so many times, he still somehow doesn't believe me.