I hate you, Nate.

Caroline 

Nate stared at me for a moment before letting out a short laugh as though I had just told him the most ridiculous joke he'd ever heard.

"Divorce?" He repeated, shaking his head. "Caroline, what are you talking about?"

I didn't smile. I simply stared at me. He stared back, waiting for me to say j was joking. When I didn't, his amusement slowly faded.

"You don't mean that."

"I do."

"Come on, Caroline." He ran a hand through his hair. "You're upset. I understand that. But you don't have to take things this far."

I folded my arms across my chest. "Take things this far?"

"Yes." He sighed, glancing around Claudia's living room. "You just left the house, stopped answering my calls, and now you're talking about divorce. Nothing happened between us and you suddenly want out? Don't you think that's a little dramatic?"

My brows squished together. He still didn't understand. He had the fucking guts to say nothing happened between us. 

Even now, after everything, he thought this was another one of our disagreements. Something that would pass once I calmed down and returned home.

"Nate, I'm not asking you to understand how I feel. I'm telling you what I've decided."

His jaw tightened. "And I'm telling you that you're not making that decision."

My heart sank, but I refused to let it show. "Excuse me?"

He stepped closer, his voice became firm. "We've been married for years, Caroline. You don't just wake up one morning and decide you want a divorce."

"I didn't wake up this morning and decide anything. I've been thinking about this for a long time."

“What the fuck?!” He raised his voice and I flinched. 

We were quiet for a while, then he dragged both hands through his face. I released a shaky breath. 

“You've been thinking about this bullshit for a long time, really?” He lowered his voice. “That means you never loved me.”

“No.” I shook my head. “No…”

“Yes. Because why would you wake up suddenly and say you want to divorce. Why? I'm your husband. I need your fucking loyalty. I expect you to be grateful.”

“Grateful? For what?” A bitter laugh escaped my lips. "When, Nate? Between your meetings and your time with Serena? Or perhaps during the anniversary dinner I spent waiting for you?"

He looked away briefly. "That's not what this is about."

"Isn't it?"

"Caroline..."

"Jesus, Nate." I shook my head. "You don't get to dismiss my feelings just because they're inconvenient for you."

His expression hardened. “You're selfish. You know, you should have talked to me about the things you didn't like.”

“Everytime I try to, you never listen. You don't show me love. You barely have time for me.”

“Damn it, I cannot believe we are talking about something so private in your friend's place.” He moved closer and pulled me nearer. “Tell me, what had Claudia been feeding you? Huh?”

“What are you talking about?” I whispered. 

“She's the one right?” His eyes narrowed, head tilted and he nodded slowly like he already got his answer.

“No, she wouldn't.”

He let go of me and grimaced. “You're a liar.”

“How dare you call me that, Nate? If anyone's a liar between us both, it's you. You're never telling the truth. You're so—”

“Enough.” He cleared his throat. “For the first time in a long time, you slept at her place. I'm going to ask you for the very last time, what is Claudia telling you? If not…” he said with a menacing glare. 

“If not what?” my lips pursed. I was getting irritated. 

“I'm going to fire her from that position.”

My shoulders slumped and my jaw dropped. “No.” My voice came out like a whisper. 

He smirked and crossed the room to sit on the couch. 

I turned. “Nate, you can't do this.” My chest raced. “Leave Claudia out of this. I swear, she has nothing to do with this.”  I swallowed, trying to steady myself. 

“Oh, really?” He checked his Golden watch and adjusted his cliff. Sitting like he owned the house, his eyes raked my body and he stood up and walked slowly towards me till we were an inch away. He tilted my chin up with his finger. 

“A good wife wouldn't leave, you know that?”

I was fighting so hard not to allow a tear drop. 

“Caroline, you don't get to ask me for a divorce or. Don't you think I loved you enough?”

“Cut it off.” I shoved his hands away. “You didn't. You never and you never will.”

He bit his lips. "Whatever happened between us, we can work it out. There's no reason to involve lawyers or start throwing around the word divorce."

I studied his face. I don't understand him. I wondered whether he was genuinely afraid of losing me or simply uncomfortable with the thought of his wife walking away.

"You don't want a divorce," I said quietly. "But do you actually want this marriage?"

He didn't answer immediately. And somehow, that silence hurt more than anything he could have said.

"That's what I thought."

I turned away, but his hand caught my wrist.  "Caroline, we're going home."

I looked down at his hand before meeting his eyes. "I'm not going anywhere with you."

"Don't make this difficult."

I gently pulled my wrist free. "You made it difficult when you stopped treating me like your wife."

His phone suddenly vibrated. He glanced at the screen. 

That should be Serena of course. I poked my head to look and it really was her name as the caller ID. But he kept the phone back in his pocket.  

"Answer it.” I said.

His eyes returned to mine. "What?"

"Your phone. Answer it. I'm sure she's waiting for you."

"Can we please stay focused on us?"

I stepped back, creating some distance between us.

"I've already made my decision, Nate. You can laugh about it, you can get angry, or you can pretend I'm just throwing a tantrum. But I'm not changing my mind."

His expression turned unreadable.b"You're not getting a divorce, Caroline."

I held his gaze. “I am.”

He paced the room for a while, then walked back to me. “Who is he?”

“Who is who?”

“The man!” He slammed the wall just above my shoulders and I stiffened. “The fuck are fucking with right now. Huh? You're cheating on me, right.” He laughed, then raked his hands through his hair. 

“You're insane.”

“No. But I do know, you've fallen in love with someone. And that's why you want a divorce. 

I stared at him in disbelief. "Are you listening to yourself?"

"Am I wrong?" He let out a humourless laugh. "Is that why you've suddenly found the courage to walk away? Some man has been whispering sweet things into your ears, hasn't he?"

I spat. "You're unbelievable."

"How long has it been going on?" He stepped closer. "A few weeks? A few months? Or were you already sleeping with him while I was busy working to give you everything you have?"

My lips parted. "What?"

"Don't look at me like that, Caroline. All those nights I came home and you were cold towards me. All those times you claimed you were tired or didn't want me touching you. Was that because you were giving yourself to someone else?"

No, he was trying to gaslight me. My eyes began to sting. "Stop it."

"How long have you been making a fool out of me?" His voice rose. "Who is he, Caroline? Tell me! Is it someone from the office? Someone Claudia introduced you to? Or have you been sneaking around while I was away?"

I couldn't believe what I was hearing. This man had left me alone countless times. He had forgotten our anniversaries, dismissed my feelings, and made me feel like a stranger in my own marriage. Yet somehow, he had found a way to make me the guilty one.

"You're disgusting," I whispered.

His eyes narrowed. "What did you say?"

"You're disgusting, Nate." My voice trembled. "You leave me alone for days. You make me feel like I don't exist. You give another woman the attention you refuse to give your own wife, and now you have the audacity to stand here and accuse me of cheating?"

"Stop saying nonsense.”

I wiped my cheeks angrily. "You want to know why I want a divorce? Because I'm tired! I'm tired of begging for attention. I'm tired of waiting for you. I'm tired of pretending that having your name means I actually have a husband!"

“Keep quiet. You're asking for a divorce because you're seeing a man and you're giving him your body.” He looked up at me from head to toe, and I could feel his breath over my skin. 

“I bet you love the way he touches, kisses and fuck you. Does he do it better than I do?”

I raised my hands and slapped him hard across his face. 

SMACK!

The sound echoed through the living room.