Mag-log inShe wakes on a stone floor with blood beneath her fingernails, a dagger in her hand, and no idea what to call herself. No name. No childhood. No face she can summon when she closes her eyes. Only one memory returns: a hooded man reaching towards her as if he has always searched for her. She doesn’t know whether he means to save her or lead her to her death. The world seems familiar, yet every reflection feels wrong. Strangers look at her with recognition they disguise. Doors open before she touches them. Sometimes, alone, she hears a voice whispering from inside the walls. Then she finds the man. He knows things she has never told anyone. He looks at her as though losing her nearly destroyed him, and though every instinct warns her away, something in her reaches for him. Their connection grows through stolen conversations, uneasy bargains, and moments of tenderness neither can explain. But trust is difficult when every answer comes wrapped in another lie. As her memories surface, the truth becomes more terrifying than the emptiness in her mind. The dagger was not placed in her hand by accident. The man’s past is tangled with hers. And the life she is fighting to reclaim may be nothing more than a story someone else is telling.
view moreThe first thing I felt was the cold.
It seeped through my clothes and into my bones, an unfamiliar kind of cold that made me wonder if I had been lying there for hours. Days, perhaps. My body felt heavy, my limbs reluctant to obey me, and there was a dull ache behind my eyes that sharpened the moment I tried to remember how I had gotten there.
I opened my eyes.
Darkness stared back.
For a moment, I did nothing. I listened.
Water dripped somewhere in the distance. Wind slipped through a narrow opening above me, carrying the faint smell of rain and something metallic.
Blood.
I sat up too quickly.
Pain split through my skull, and I pressed a hand to my forehead, squeezing my eyes shut until the room stopped spinning.
Where am I?
The question came easily enough.
The answer did not.
I looked around. Stone walls. A broken wooden chair. A narrow window through which a sliver of moonlight spilled onto the floor. There was no furniture besides the chair, no door that I could immediately see, and no sign that anyone had occupied the room recently.
Except for me.
I looked down at myself.
A pale blouse, torn at the sleeve. Dark trousers. Bare feet, scraped and filthy. My fingernails were stained with something dark.
Blood, I thought again.
My stomach tightened.
I rubbed my fingers together, trying to determine whether the substance was wet or dry. It crumbled beneath my nails.
Old blood.
Someone else's, I hoped.
Then I noticed the dagger.
It lay across my lap, its dark handle resting against my thigh as though someone had carefully placed it there. The blade caught the moonlight, revealing a thin line of silver etched along its length. Strange symbols ran from the hilt to the tip, so intricate that looking at them made my eyes hurt.
I picked it up.
My hand closed around the handle with startling familiarity.
I knew how to hold it. Where to place my thumb. How to angle the blade so that it would be most effective.
I knew how to use it.
I had no idea how I knew.
I dropped it.
The dagger struck the stone floor with a sharp clang that seemed much too loud for the small room.
I scrambled away from it.
"No."
My voice sounded strange. Hoarse. Fragile.
I swallowed and tried again.
"No, no, no."
I searched my pockets with shaking hands. Nothing. No phone. No identification. No note explaining why I had been abandoned in what looked like a crypt.
Not even a name.
I tried to remember my name.
Surely that was something everyone knew. Surely, no matter how badly someone was injured, no matter what terrible thing had happened to them, a name was the one thing that remained.
I closed my eyes.
I reached for something familiar.
A face. A voice. A childhood bedroom. Someone calling me home.
Anything.
Nothing came.
There was only a vast, hollow silence where my life should have been.
I pressed both hands against my temples.
"Think."
The word came out like a plea.
"Please, just think."
I searched harder, forcing my mind to reach beyond the darkness. I tried to imagine a mother, a father, a friend. I tried to picture a face that would make my heart soften with recognition.
But every image dissolved before it could form.
It was as though someone had taken a knife to the pages of my life and cut out every word.
I couldn't remember being born.
I couldn't remember growing up.
I couldn't remember ever having been alive.
The last thought made me go completely still.
What if I wasn't?
I looked down at my hands. Turned them over. Pressed my fingers into my palm until the sting brought tears to my eyes.
Pain.
I could feel pain.
I was breathing.
I was alive.
I repeated it silently, clinging to the words as though they were a prayer.
Then something moved outside the window.
I froze.
A shadow passed across the narrow opening, followed by the sound of footsteps.
Slow.
Measured.
Coming closer.
I grabbed the dagger.
The footsteps stopped.
For several seconds, nothing happened.
Then a voice spoke from the other side of the wall.
"You're awake."
It was a man's voice. Low, calm, and entirely too unsurprised.
I stared at the place where I thought the door ought to be.
"Who are you?"
Silence.
I tightened my grip on the dagger.
"I asked you a question."
"And I heard you."
His voice was closer now.
I scrambled to my feet, ignoring the dizziness that swept through me. "Where am I?"
"You shouldn't be here."
A bitter laugh escaped me. "That's helpful."
"You need to leave."
"Then tell me where I am!"
For the first time, something shifted in his voice.
Fear.
Not for himself.
For me.
"Listen carefully," he said. "When you find the door, don't look behind you. Don't stop for anyone. And whatever you do, don't let them hear you speak your name."
My mouth went dry.
"What name?"
The silence that followed was so complete that I could hear my own heartbeat.
Then he said, very softly, "You don't remember."
It wasn't a question.
I took a step towards the wall. "Remember what?"
A sound came from the other side.
A quiet, broken exhale.
Almost a laugh.
Almost a sob.
"Oh, God," he whispered. "Not again."
The words settled over me like ice.
Not again.
I opened my mouth to demand an explanation, but the wall behind me creaked.
I spun around.
A narrow doorway had appeared where there had been nothing but stone a moment before.
Beyond it stretched a corridor lit by flickering candles. At its far end stood a staircase leading upwards.
And at the bottom of the staircase lay a body.
A woman.
Her dark hair spilled across the stone, hiding most of her face. She wore the same pale blouse as I did. The same dark trousers.
The same bare feet.
My knees nearly gave way.
I approached her slowly, the dagger trembling in my hand.
"Hello?"
She didn't move.
I crouched beside her and reached for her shoulder.
The moment my fingers touched her skin, a memory tore through me.
Not a dream.
Not an imagined scene.
A memory.
A pair of gloved hands holding my face.
A room flooded with white light.
Someone screaming.
What is happening??
CHAPTER SEVENThe Woman Who Wore My Face“Welcome back, Doctor Vale.”The words continued to echo in my head long after the machine went silent.Doctor.Vale.Me.I stared at my hands, waiting for them to become someone else’s. Waiting for the blood I remembered to appear beneath my fingernails. Waiting for the woman I had been before I woke in that stone room to crawl out of my skin and explain what kind of monster I had become.Nothing happened.My hands remained clean.That somehow made everything worse.“Don’t touch me.”Adrian had been reaching for my shoulder. He stopped immediately, his fingers hovering between us before he slowly lowered his hand.“Elena—”“I told you not to call me that.”Pain crossed his face.“Your name is Elena.”“No.” I swallowed. “That was the name of the woman who built a machine to bring the dead back to life. The woman who chose you over Silas. The woman who apparently decided that death was a problem she could solve by making everyone suffer forever.
CHAPTER SIXThe Boy Who Begged Me to ForgetThe man at the bottom of the stairs was crying.I could hear him long before I saw him. His sobs travelled through the darkness in broken pieces, sometimes fading into silence, sometimes rising so suddenly that I had to stop and remind myself that I was not alone.Adrian followed three steps behind me.He hadn’t tried to stop me again.Somehow, that frightened me more than if he had.The staircase ended at a black iron door. There was no handle, only a small circular indentation in its centre, shaped exactly like the symbol engraved on the brass key.I fitted the key into the opening.The lock turned by itself.Inside was a bedroom.Not a laboratory. Not a dungeon. Not the place where I had imagined my first death would be recorded.A bedroom.Cream curtains hung beside a tall window. A small vase of dried roses sat on a dressing table, and a book lay open on the bed as if someone had abandoned it in the middle of a sentence.The room smelle
CHAPTER FIVEThe Thing Beneath the MirrorThe laughter came from beneath the floor.Not from the passage. Not from the room behind me.Beneath us.It was a woman’s laughter, soft and breathless, the kind that belonged to someone hearing a private joke. There was something terribly familiar about it, though I couldn’t have explained why.The hooded man heard it too.His expression changed.“Whatever you do,” he said, “don’t answer her.”I tightened my fingers around the dagger. “Answer who?”The laughter stopped.A voice rose through the stone beneath my feet.“Adrian?”The name struck me like a hand closing around my throat.Adrian.I knew that name.I knew the shape of it in my mouth, the way it felt against my tongue, the way my heart seemed to recognize it before my mind could.The man in front of me went deathly still.Then the voice beneath the floor spoke again.“Adrian, darling. You promised you wouldn’t leave me down here.”I looked at him.“Who is she?”“Don’t listen.”“You k
CHAPTER FOURThe Things We Do to Survive“…you begged me to kill you before he could touch you again.”For a moment, I forgot how to breathe.I stared at Mara, waiting for her to laugh, to tell me it was some elaborate joke, to give me anything that would make those words less horrible.She did none of those things.“What did he do to me?”Her lips parted, but no answer came.“What did I do to you?”That seemed to hurt her more.She turned away, pressing a trembling hand against her mouth. I watched her shoulders rise and fall, and for the first time since waking in that cursed room, I wondered whether I was the only person who had been forced to live without my memories.“Mara.”“Don’t.”“Tell me the truth.”She turned so abruptly that I flinched.“The truth?” Her eyes glistened. “You want the truth? The truth is that you have died more times than I can count, and every time you come back, you look at me as though I’m a stranger.”My throat tightened.“And every time,” she continued,
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