Luo McCarner was dying when suddenly a woman who looked like her asked,'' Do you wish to go to the past before you made the decisions that led you to this unenviable state or die like a pathetic heroine in a play?'' Luo decided to take the chance to fix her tragic fate, which almost caused her death. But little did she know how deeply wounded her soul was and that she needed time to relearn how to be herself again. Unfortunately, the journey for self-discovery and self-repairing wouldn't be smooth. Her enemy was determined to bring her down and end her life for good. Some chapters contain violence.View More
Trigger warning, panic attack, suicide, ptsd 1 month later, Valetta, Malta I raised my hands wrapped in boxing gloves and tried to relax my shoulders. They shouldn’t be stiff or too high. That would make my belly vulnerable. I put my right leg forward and crouched a little just enough to easy to avoid an attack coming to my face. I looked at the man standing opposite me and once his eyes met mine, I tried to hit him with my right fist. He blocked it as always, but it didn’t’ mean it will stop me from trying to punch him again and again. When I tried to hit him for the fourth time, he raised his fist so quickly I couldn’t even see it before I felt pain on the left side of my head. I staggered backward and shook my head like a wet dog. ‘’ I told you to be careful when you attack because you leave your guard open.’’ Leo’s voice was even and unbothered. On the other hand, I was already breathing with difficulties. ‘’Don’t focus only on attacking. You need to prot
For the first time in a long while, I felt some semblance of satisfaction. Was it because Leonardo, the man I used to love so much without being reciprocated, was standing in front of me? No, definitely, not. It was because of the fear in the eyes of the woman who ordered my death and almost succeeded in taking my life. Her skin was as white as a sheet of paper, and her dark eyes were round with dread. Did I look like that when Xavier took a picture of me and sent it to her? Did she feel the same thing as me now? If the answer was yes, I could truthfully say that I understood her. I sincerely understood why she enjoyed watching the person she hated suffering. My gaze full of malice was promising endless pain if I got the chance to get near her. Noticing the promise in my eyes, she quickly hid behind Xavier. As always. God, I just wanted to see her alone without the protection of her dog. I clenched my jaw, sensing my boiling anger but then forced myself to calm down. I wante
“All it takes is one bad day to reduce the sanest man alive to lunacy. That's how far the world is from where I am. Just one bad day.” Never in my life did I believe there would be a day when a quote from a comic would relate so closely to me. But recently, I started feeling that the bad days in my life are far more than the good. I was so tired of fighting to keep my sanity. To fight to stay afloat of the sea of misery that was pulling me to its depths with every passing day. I didn’t think I had more strength to swim. I gave up.I looked at the woman kidnapped and wanted to torture me for some unknown reason. Earlier I tied her wrist and ankles with the same rope she tied me before breaking free. My eyes found hers, and I noticed the slight trembling of her body. Her nostrils flared because of her heavy breathing, probably caused by her fear. Yes. It wasn’t funny to be let at the mercy of other people. But I was curious. Did I also look that pathetic
When I was left alone, I used the time to go to the bathroom and pull the lid of the toilet bowl. There I sat in for a while, not thinking about anything. I watched the white door blinking and not letting any thought or emotion in my head. For the first time in a while, I felt some semblance of peace. Why was my life like that? In the beginning, I blamed Leonardo and Bianca. But now? After this hallucination, I didn’t know what to think. Was what I saw something created by my stressed subconsciousness? It was possible, but it couldn’t explain the familiarity I felt. I had that feeling of being aware of it at some point but forgetting about it.However, I couldn’t accept the other option. I wasn’t strong enough mentally to do it at this point. So, for now, I would just bury my head in the sand and believe it was a bad dream caused by the constant stress I lived in. I went to wash my hands, and while doing so, the door opened, and another woman came in.
The door opened to a spacious hall bearing an ancient ambience. I blinked confusedly, wondering what was happening. Many people were inside wearing traditional Chinese clothes, their gazes pointing expectantly at the place where I was standing. Just a moment ago, the make–up artist was preparing me for the interview, and now suddenly, I was on some set for an ancient drama tv-series together with many other unknown people. I must be dreaming. But, normally, people didn’t realise they were dreaming while I was keenly aware that what I see wasn’t real. Then my body started moving on its own accord, making everything even more surreal. My back was as straight as an arrow, my head held high and my breathing steady. But deep inside, I was feeling anxious. Why was I moving without wanting it? I felt like a marionette. I tried to move my head around and better look at the environment, but it was impossible. The only thing I could see was the red hem of my clothes and t
On the next day was the interview which Kang Xianliang and I had to give in front of the press to dispel the rumours of my ‘’affair’’. I woke up tired with no will to live as always, but this time there was an additional reason for my lack of good rest, which didn’t include my nightmares. I was mostly tossing all night, feeling that something unpleasant is about to happen. However, I tried to be positive and just ignore it. While I had my breakfast at Xianliang’s kitchen, I was reading the file he sent me yesterday about the woman who hated me enough to try to tarnish my reputation.To be honest, there wasn’t anything interesting about her. She was an actress who tried for years to become popular and successful, but unfortunately, her acting skills were lacking, and all the movies she starred in were criticised for her performance. Maybe, because she could not achieve her dream, she became a cruel and wicked person who wanted to vent
A hand crept on my back, slowly caressing it, making my hairs stood on ends. My heart started palpitating, and I wanted to step away from that burning tip which I felt was getting closer and closer. However, the moment I tried to move away, the grip on my waist got stronger, and he pulled me even closer, making our bodies touch without even a gap. I put my hands on his shoulders, keeping my face away from him. ‘’What are you doing?’’ I asked, irritated, trying to hide my nervousness caused by our closeness. ‘’You are going to burn me.’’ ‘’It won’t be that bad. It will hurt at the beginning but eventually, you will get better.’’ I blinked a few times, astonished at what he had just said. During the time we spent together, I realised that this man had some really black and twisted sense of humour. So, I knew right now he wasn't serious. But, there was one problem. One moment he was joking, and the other, he was serious, doing exactly what he had been joking about. Seei
The name of the woman who supposedly was behind this whole ordeal didn’t invoke any memories in me. For the sake of my life, I couldn’t remember if I had ever met her, nor could I think of a situation where my actions could directly or indirectly implicate her. We didn’t have common friends or acquaintances. So, why the bloody hell did she do this? But maybe, it wasn’t because of me. Maybe it was because she had a history with somebody close to me and was using me as a revenge tool. However, I could hardly think of a person here in China who cared so much about me they could get upset if I was hurt. While I was thinking about this, I arrived at Kang Xianliang’s mansion. When the butler let me in, I hurried to his office wanting to ask if he knew that woman by some chance. However, I only made one step when the butler’s hand stopped me on my way to the stairs. ‘’Young Master isn’t in a very good mood today. Be careful not to worsen it.’’ My eyebrows furrowed a
Ten or fewer minutes after Kang Xianliang ended the call, somebody knocked on my door. After giving my permission butler Che entered with eyes brimming with compassion. If that wasn’t a bad sign…‘’Young Miss, the Old Master wants to speak with you in his study.’’ Goodness Gracious, after Han Wei, now my grandfather wanted to reprimand and lecture me. Grumbling inwardly, I followed the butler to the study on the first floor. I hadn’t been there much. When Yan Si and I were children, I used to hide in this study while playing hide and seek. It was my secret place until the moment my grandfather caught me hiding behind his desk. He got angry like a leprechaun whose gold had been stolen and punished me to not go out of my room for three days. Since then, my foot never stepped there. This would be my first time in years going inside the study.After grandfather let us in, Butler Che bowed politely and left the room, leaving me alo
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