Change Desire

Weeks have already passed.

I'm here now in mom's office, I'm looking out the window because I want to see the entering students of our school, I also want to see Cristof enter the school gate.

"Our dear Bam, are you waiting for someone to come in? You've been there for a while now" I immediately looked at mom and smiled at her

"Yes, I just want to see him enter the school gate," I said a little shyly

she immediately stood up from her seat and came to me, "Is that Cristof? My Berries, don't starve yourself, go to the gate and wait there, remember the more you distance yourself from your mate, the more hungry you will be to be with him," said mom and grabbed my hair then kissed me on the forehead

I immediately took a deep breath, "but mom when I get close to him sometimes I can't help but get hurt and cry, then dad doesn't like him" I said calmly which made her laugh softly,

"It's not because your dad doesn't like him, you should not like him, Bam your dad just doesn't want to see you cry and hurt, as you are destined to be the Alpha of Ulrika's Clan it is your responsibility to follow what you want not what those around you want or your parents want if you are hurt and crying because of him but you are happier with him and he fulfills your desire, the wrong is not him or you," said mom which made me wonder,

"Then what's wrong?" I said to her while looking into her eyes, "that's what you need to know, just remember to be a good Alpha in your clan sometimes you have to step back and look at the event again, in that way you will know what you want to do and what you should do, and remember that your happiness is the happiness of your clan, your confidence in yourself is your clan's confidence in you and when you are weak your clan is weak too, do you understand Bam?" Mom said to me as she immediately returned to her table and sat in her chair

"What are you waiting for there? Go to the gate and wait for him there, your desire is the desire of your clan, remember that only you can answer your questions and only your mate can help you to answer your questions yourself" Mom said smiling as she turned to me

I was about to go out when the door opened and dad came out, "My Bam! Do you know how much I miss you? I miss you so much," dad happily greeted as he came closer to hug me, "Darling, Bam needs to hurry don't disturb him first, you are spoiling our daughter too much so his mate is saying that we are still babysitting the destined Alpha of Ulrika's clan" mom said to dad while her hands were closed

dad immediately snorted, "That's not what he said, he said we are babying the next Alpha of Ulrika's Clan," dad said seriously causing mom's eyebrows to furrow, "That's the same meaning, Bam you can go, I'll take care of your dad," Mom said seriously as she excused me to go

I just kissed Dad on the cheek and left mom's office,

while walking I was still thinking about what mom said

I just thought about why mom tells me not to starve myself and the more I stay away from Christof the more I will be hungry to be with Christof

can that happen even if I'm human?

maybe I'm really a werewolf? and not a human,

hey, what are the things I'm going to say to myself, first I said what if I'm really a werewolf, then now I'm telling myself that maybe I really am a werewolf,

why is it that I was not considered the child of my real parents, then whoever else is not my real parent still considers me a child, the world is really messed up

I don't know if the world doesn't want me or if the world wants me

"You're blocking the way Berries" I immediately woke up to my senses when I heard Cristof's voice

I immediately looked at him, I didn't expect to be hurt by the coldness of his eyes

again

I'm still hurt

I can not understand myself

"When do you plan to leave in front of me Berries?" he said seriously which made me step back, "Sorry," I said and looked in another direction which made him take a deep breath, "Look at me Berries," he said making me look at him

I was very surprised when he kissed my forehead, "I find it hard to control myself when I talk to you, the monster that hides in my body wants to claim you, he wants you to moan badly, but I don't want to" he said seriously and I didn't intentionally look into his eyes

all I really see is coldness

You really don't like me very much

I remembered when I told him that I couldn't look at him but his answer was that it was okay, he doesn't care about me anyway

now I know

he was surprised to see me smile

"Thank you, I understand now," I said with a smile that caused him to wonder,

he was about to hold me when I stepped away from him, "You don't want me to be a mate right? I don't know why you're mad at the real you, but I only know one thing, you're pathetic Cristof, you're taking your anger out on me, maybe that's why dad doesn't like you because he sees that you don't care about yourself, and for sure you don't care about your clan either, do you know that your desire is what your clan desires? I just learned that a while ago, now I understand, I can look into your eyes without getting hurt, do you know why? my desire has changed and it's not you anymore" I smiled and said

I'm still hurt because I don't know, maybe it's because I learned to love him because he's my mate, but now I don't really know, "I like the way you smell now Berries" he said and tried to come closer, I immediately sneered at him, "Of course, because you can't smell my pain anymore, you know what I mean Cristof right, don't worry I won't spread it" I said seriously then left him dumbfounded

Unexpectedly, tears welled up in my eyes

I feel a lot of chest pain right now and I don't know why

tears won't stop in my eyes

while walking they started looking at me

the world really hates me

"Why is the destined Alpha of Ulkira's Clan crying?"