Will my dad come to the party?

Lana’s pov

The wind felt more gentle in Gardena. I did not know why, but as the plane wheels touched the ground, it was like my chest could finally rise and fall without pain. The clouds outside were clearing, but the ones inside me remained. The twins had slept through most of the flight. That was a gift. It meant no more questions. No more sad eyes. No more “why’s.”

I had made a mess. One that could not be cleaned with apologies or packed neatly away like our suitcases. Whether I decided to tell Lee or not, someone was going to get hurt.

Maybe all of us. Some days, I wished I had been brave enough to face it all back then, when the truth was still fresh and my belly was growing. I could have told the truth, dealt with the fallout, let the world burn around me if it needed to.

But that was not what I did. I chose silence. I chose to protect. I chose myself. And if I had to go back... I am ashamed to admit it, but I would probably still make the same choice. Because I was scared. I looked at my children, their tiny faces soft with sleep. Guilt stung like cold rain across my skin.

“Wake up, my loves,” I whispered as gently as I could, brushing hair from their eyes. “We are here.”

Daisy stretched first, rubbing her eyes and trying to smile. Brian groaned and rolled over, clearly not ready for movement.

“We are going to see Nanny now,” I said with a soft smile, hoping it would spark something in them.

It did. Their eyes lit up, and suddenly they were both full of energy, pulling on their coats and bouncing in their seats. They adored her. Nanny was their second home. She had loved them deeply from the moment she first laid eyes on them. We stepped off the plane hand in hand, walking through the long corridor that smelt of coffee, tiredness, and old air.

By the time we reached the baggage area, I could already see her waiting, her small frame, wide arms, and an even wider smile.

“There she is!” Daisy squealed.

“Nanny!” Brian shouted, breaking into a run.

They launched into her arms like little rockets. I winced, hoping they would not knock her over. She was tiny but strong. She held them both with ease. I walked over slowly, watching the way her arms wrapped around them like she had missed them with her whole soul.

“Hello, Mum,” I said when I reached her, trying to keep my voice low.

She let go of them just long enough to pull me into a hug and kiss my cheek. Her hair was lighter now, almost blonde at the tips, but the greys were showing near her scalp. Her skin was fair, just like mine, with little freckles across her cheeks. Her brown eyes, so soft and kind, were the same ones I saw every day in Daisy’s face. She looked at me closely, like she could see all the cracks I was trying to hide.

“You look tired,” she said gently.

“I am,” I replied, forcing a smile. “But I am glad we are here.”

I was glad we were with her. Because sooner or later, the truth was going to come out. And I needed her with me when it did. 

It was at this moment, Brian looked at me while still resting his body against my mom. Every inch of him reminded me of Lee, from his confident smirk to the tan he seemed to carry even in winter. Daisy, my sweet girl, had inherited my skin instead. Poor thing. She burned just as easily as I did.

“How was the flight?” Fredrick’s voice pulled me from my thoughts as he weaved through the crowd at baggage claim, both our suitcases already in his hands. Of course. Bless him, always one step ahead.

“It was perfect, thanks. The twins slept right through,” I said with a smile.

Fredrick was not much taller than my mum, maybe five foot eight, but there was something polished about him. He had that well-kept look, the kind of man who always smelled faintly of cedarwood and clean linen. Kind eyes, always ready to help. I adored him so much.

“Lovely, dear. Shall we get this show on the road? We can carry on this little pow-wow during the drive home,” he said cheerfully, steering us through the crowd like a man on a mission.

The moment we got into the car, any sense of calm I had left was shattered.

“Hey Nanny, do you know who our daddy is?” Brian’s voice popped through the hum of the engine.

I nearly choked on my breath. In the rearview mirror, I could see Fredrick’s eyes widen ever so slightly. I could almost hear the silent debate he was having with himself, whether to tuck and roll out of the moving car or just pretend he heard nothing at all. Honestly, I was having the same inner argument.

“Not now, Brian,” I said quickly, turning in my seat with a firm but gentle tone.

But Daisy, ever the determined one, was not finished. “But do you, Nanny? Do you know who he is?”

I glanced at my mother, panic tightening in my chest. I had hoped to speak to her alone first, to warn her. To explain. But fate had other ideas.

“I promise we will talk about this later,” I said softly, forcing a smile I was not sure reached my eyes.

“I am so sorry, Mum. I should have warned you they might ask.”

She gave me a look that said she understood, and maybe that she had been expecting it all along. I knew lying to the twins would make her uncomfortable. It always had. Mum had never believed in bending the truth, not even the soft kind. And I didn’t want her to start now, not for me. I will talk to them myself later. Once I figured out what to say… then I’d fill her in.

“Why, Mommy?” Brian’s voice was louder than I expected, his little brows pulled into a frown.

 “Why what, baby?”

“Why do you need to warn her?” God, he was too smart for his own good sometimes.

“I didn’t mean it like that, sweetheart.” I sighed, trying to keep my tone calm. “I just… I don’t want to talk about it right now, okay? Let’s just enjoy our time here. Please. Can we leave it alone for now?”

I could see the gears turning in his mind, the way he sat up straighter, ready to argue. But before he could get the words out, My mum stepped in like the seasoned pro she was.

“So, are you two ready for your big birthday party tomorrow, my darlings?” she asked, her voice full of cheer and just the right amount of distraction.

I could’ve kissed her. I mouthed a silent thank you, and she gave me a soft, knowing smile in return.

"Yes!" the twins shouted in unison, their excitement washing away the tension that had filled the car moments before.

Just when I thought everything was fine, Brian’s small voice broke through.

"Will my dad come to the party? He’s never been to any of them."

The question was way too heavy to answer. Silence followed. My eyes met Mum’s in the rearview mirror, wide and questioning. My heart thudded in my chest. Was she waiting for me to answer? I wasn’t sure I even knew what to say.