04. Self Submission

“One hundred and fifty million rupiah,” replied Sakha.

Tia who was lying beside him immediately got up and looked at her husband in surprise. “One hundred and fifty million?” she repeated.

“Hmm.”

“If it’s a poor person who borrows that much money, of course now he’s rich.”

“He borrowed it gradually.”

“Then why did you let him when you knew he couldn’t pay?” asked Tia not understanding.

“I am indebted to him.”

Sakha’s second wife was heard chuckling softly, but then she smiled sweetly at her husband. “You are a good person. I salute you. Just let go of those debts, Mas, if he can’t pay. With God’s permission, you will get a much better reward from God.”

Sakha wasn’t stupid not to realize what Tia was trying to do from the very beginning she asked about Mr. Jamal, even though now it was time for them to sleep after they were tired of doing their night activities. Sakha was even forced to postpone his departure to Jakarta because Tia cried and accused Sakha of acting unfairly for going on the day of Tia’s schedule.

Actually, Sakha was still irritated now, but he didn’t show it to her in the slightest, or let his emotions take over.

Sakha then got up from his sleep and sat on the edge of the bed, he wanted to clean himself before going back to sleep. Because tomorrow, very early in the morning Sakha must start his journey to the city.

A soft hand caressed Sakha’s arm, down to the waist until it stopped at the stomach. “Mas, is it true that Mas is going to marry the debtor’s daughter?” Tia asked gently and carefully. She rested her chin on Sakha’s shoulder with pouting lips.

“Hm, as you heard,” replied Sakha coldly.

Tia actually didn’t dare to ask too much, knowing that Sakha didn’t like it when other people interfered in his business, even if it was his own wife. Sakha would definitely be angry, even if he didn’t show it to them.

“Why, Mas?” Tia asked quietly. “Isn’t Mas and Nia’s marriage age only one year? Why the rush to remarry? We can still try to have children, Mas. Mas Sakha is healthy, the three of us are also healthy, and there is still hope. Moreover, tonight is my fertile period, who knows in the next few months … we will get some good news.”

Sakha then turned and smiled at his second wife. “Hopefully,” he said. Then he got up, put his pants back on and went into the bathroom.

Tia also got off the bed, without a single thread covering her body she walked towards the closed bathroom door. Tia turns the handle, but the door is locked. The sound of the shower was then heard, followed by Tia’s annoyed squeak.

In the bathroom, Sakha ignored the door handle that was trying to open from the outside. He needed some time alone to clear his mind. However, when he closed his eyes, Sakha actually had more trouble doing it.

The image of him growing old, gray, and perhaps already struggling to walk, but not having a single child to accompany him and take over the company he had been so tired of building from the ground up.

It scared Sakha. He didn’t want that to happen. He wanted to have a legal heir, his biological children, and his own flesh and blood. Whoever the mother is, Sakha doesn’t care, the most important thing is that the child is his son. However, as a very big thank you, Sakha will treat the mother of the child very well and will guarantee her life until death.

Sakha does not want that when he leaves this world, his business and wealth will be given to someone else, even if that other person is his own family or close friend.

Sakha had to remarry. Because the fear and worry is getting more and more gnawing at him. None of the three women he married were pregnant. Even though Sakha is a healthy and excellent man, his three wives don’t have any problems with them either.

Sakha has been married to Ria for five years, three years for Tia, and a year for Nia. Sakha used to be very sure that the third marriage was the last marriage, but it’s been a year and Nia has not gotten pregnant and Sakha’s previous faith has begun to erode.

People say that the fertility of rural women is different from that of urban women. Sakha knows it’s just a bullshit, but maybe because Sakha is too desperate, so that even the slightest hope he will try to reach too. Moreover, the opportunity is already in sight.

***

“Ririn, dear, how are you? Are you feeling better?” Yuniarti entered her eldest daughter’s room, carrying a plastic tray containing a bowl of porridge and drinking water.

Airin struggled to get up and smiled at her mother. “Yes, Mother, it’s much better now.”

“Alhamdulillah, thanks in the name of God. Here, eat first so you can regain your strength.”

Airin didn’t say much and started eating the porridge that Mother had cooked slowly. If Airin wasn’t sick, she would definitely like this porridge, she likes whatever food Yuniarti makes, she is very good at cooking and the taste of the food is undeniable.

Now, the porridge in the bowl didn’t manage to satisfy Airin’s taste buds and the taste was too bland, almost nauseating. Airin held it back, because she wanted to get well soon so she could go back to work and earn a lot of money.

“Mother,” called Airin, “Ririn heard that there was a commotion outside, what was that for?” she asked.

Yuniarti’s face immediately bent with a complicated expression, she could be heard sighing before her puffy eyes filled with tears again.

“Galih’s arrival that night was not just to collect debts. He also offered an offer. If Father approves one of his daughters to be married by Mr. Sakha, then all his debts will be considered paid off. Nevertheless, you know yourself, right, what is Mr. Sakha like? I myself don’t have the heart to make Mawar his fourth wife.” Yuniarti sobbed.

Airin increasingly lost her appetite hearing all that. She had guessed that that was what actually happened.

“We have discussed this with Mawar, but she refused. Melati is still in school, you work. If it’s not Mawar, then who else?”

Airin can’t stand it anymore. Her dislike for Sakha is getting worse. However, her family was at a disadvantage. Father owes Sakha, the man has often charged but they can’t pay. It is natural that Sakha demands his rights. Still, the way that man used was so cunning.

“Don’t worry, Mother,” said `Airin, touching her mother’s hand in a soothing gesture. “Ririn will talk to Mr. Sakha tomorrow and ask for a favor from him. Ririn is sure that Mr. Sakha is good, so he must be willing to listen.”

Instead of feeling better, Yuniarti’s tears just got quieter. “It’s useless, Dear. Your father’s debt is too much and impossible to pay off. We are lucky enough to borrow from Mr. Sakha, if it were moneylenders our situation would have been much worse.”

Airin remained in her stance. She didn’t want to give up. If she put in more effort, she would be able to pay off those debts even if it took years.

“In fact, how much money did Father borrow?” Airin asked quietly, trying not to offend her.

Yuniarti wiped the tears off her face with the back of her hand before replying, “One hundred and fifty million.”

If Airin were standing now, she would have fallen to the ground because she was so shocked. “Th-that much?” she muttered with a confused look.

Yuniarti looked down sadly. “For your father’s treatment at that time.”

“Treatment? Is it because-”

“Forgive us, Rin. We didn’t want to burden you more then so we didn’t tell you the truth.” Yuniarti looked at her eldest daughter with a trembling gaze full of guilt.

As Airin recalled, when her father had to be hospitalized because of an illness he was suffering from, she was the one who paid all the costs. At that time, Airin was very happy and relieved because she could bear everything until Father was declared to be allowed to go home.

It turned out that what actually happened was that Sakha paid the medical expenses, the money that Airin gave to Yuniarti at that time was only enough to buy medicine.

Now Airin feels even guiltier to her parents.

“In addition to medical expenses, it is also for our daily needs, for the needs of Mawar and Melati as well. We borrowed it gradually, not realizing the total would be that much,” Yuniarti continued. She didn’t even dare to turn her head to look at Airin. Tears of despair still welled up in her eyes.

Airin really could not stand to see that. It broke her heart to see her mother cry. Airin tries to find a way out, but the only way is indeed Sakha’s offer. Only that. Meanwhile, the problem is that Mawar, whom Father appointed, is not willing to marry the man who already has three wives.

If this is the case ….

“Let me, Mother.”

At first Yuniarti didn’t understand what Airin meant.

“Let me just marry Mr. Sakha then.”

Yuniarti’s eyes widened after hearing that. She was silent, speechless for a moment. “A-are you sure, Dear?” she whispered in trembling voice.

“Hm. I’m sure.” Airin steadied herself. “As long it’s not Mawar or Melati.”

Yes, because the two younger siblings are still too early to get married. Indeed, many girls in this village who get married at a young age, but Airin really hopes that her siblings will succeed first before tasting the bitter taste of being married.

Melati is still in school. Mawar has just graduated and once told Airin that she really wanted to continue her education outside the city, to university level. Nevertheless, due to limited funds, until now Mawar is still unemployed at home.

As for Airin, Airin does not have such ideals. She has neither dreams, nor goals in life. What was on her mind at all times was how she and her family could eat without deprivation. Airin lives only for today and tomorrow, never dares to hope for more days than that.

So let her marry Mr. Sakha. Her life being the fourth wife couldn’t have been any worse than the events she had been through before, right?

Airin didn’t expect anything, she just wanted her family’s debt to be paid off, and the burden on her parents backs to be light.

If her life as the fourth wife of Sakha later is a misery, Airin will accept it. Because compared to this sacrifice, the sacrifices of her parents were far more.

Airin is just an adopted child. However, all this time Jamal and Yuniarti have always treated her like their own child. Airin was enough to burden them. Even though her life is not happy, Airin is grateful that she is still alive now, and has parents like Jamal and Yuniarti, who have given her much better love than Airin’s own biological parents did.

“When will Mr. Sakha’s envoy come again, Mother?”

Yuniarti was still crying when Airin came back from her daydream. “I don’t know, Dear. It could be tomorrow night or the day after. Because at that time Galih ordered Father to make a decision as soon as possible, we didn’t have much time.”

Airin tried to calm her mother down by giving her a more genuine smile, which stated that she was fine and it was okay to be the fourth wife of a man she didn’t know.

“I’m sorry, Ririn.” Yuniarti shuffled and immediately hugged Airin tightly, sobbing into her shoulder. “Forgive Father too. Forgive us. So far, we’ve been relying on you a lot, burdening you. Forgive us.”

“That’s not true, Mother. You are not a burden, in fact Ririn should be more grateful than this for what you have done all this time.” Airin felt her eyes heat up, but she didn’t want to cry and make her mother even more worried. “Thank you, because all this time you have been willing to take care of Ririn and treat Ririn like your biological child. Don’t worry, everything will be fine. You don’t need to worry,” said Airin, calming her mother. Or rather also … calming herself down.

***