Chapter 17: Freya

He was silent the entire walk back to town. He refused to look at me, didn’t talk. He continued staring downward like he was taking me to my death. Maybe he was, but I certainly had a higher chance out there than in this place. I felt his heart breaking with each step like he had to keep convincing himself that he could reject me.

On some level I understood it was going to hurt him, but it would fade. Andre even said so. He’d be okay. He’d find someone better than me. He’d find someone who was a werewolf and he’d be better. Even if at this moment I didn’t want him to find someone else, I wanted him to choose me I wanted him to fight for me, I knew it was just that stupid goddess.

Inari, I sighed looking up at the sky, he was known as the false moon, the trickster, I needed him to step in I needed him to stop this moon goddess. She was going to get me killed.

“You’ll take my car and get out of town. Don’t worry about returning it, I don’t use it anyway.” Elias was speaking so low, like he didn’t want me to hear the offer.

“I appreciate it.” I smiled and wanted to reach out to him just to touch his arm or provide some comfort but my bag buzzing violently snapped me out of it.

It was Latharn: You’re reservation was cancelled? I heard something happened? You better fucking not ignore me!

This is your last chance Freya. I mean it.

Then three missed calls and a voicemail.

“Sorry one moment,” I spoke and turned away.

“We really shouldn’t be out in the open like this,” Elias was looking around his nose sniffing the air. He was dressed like he was going running, well without shoes, maybe the humans would work out their own reasons for why he was dressed like that?

“It’s fine,” I waved my hand and reached my voicemailbox.

“Freya, don’t come back to the city. They said you had far too many chances and you’re mated to an alpha of a werewolf pack. They can’t over look that. So just don’t come back. I’ll try and find you once you calm yourself back down. Maybe we can start back up where we left off? Since you’re ignoring me though I’m guessing you’ve either been killed or submitted to being a sacrifice for their fucking alpha’s pleasure. Whatever happened, dont reach out until you’re better. I can’t jeopardize myself and everything I’ve worked for just for you. I’ll always love you, but right now, you need to decide what is more important.”

I’ve been scrubbed. My hand went to my mouth as I collapsed to the ground. “I thought I still had time,” I whispered, “it’s all gone? Everything?” I checked my bank account and found it difficult with my shaking hands. It was empty. Completely empty! I had earned that money! “No-” my gasps were turning to heaving as I tried to take inhales but found my lungs not wanting to work.

“Freya?” Elias was next to me, he wasn’t towering over me though he was knelt down next to me not touching me, why was this more cruel than that message I just heard? “Freya!” He called me again but I didn’t answer, I didn’t look at him, I didn’t acknowledge him.

Bring her back to the den you dense idiot! Andre called.

She’s having a panic attack, Oliver huffed with far too much annoyance.

Oh please bring the girl back to the den! It’s turning into a fucking mess here I didn'y know whose voice that was but they all started to sound in my head bringing on a headache that compounded with every new thought.

She’s the reason we keep getting attacked.

Lucien never would have let this happen you know.

She’s not one of us.

Should have thrown her out of the city last night.

Fuck this alpha man, he doesn’t get to say we have freedom and then force us to protect a fucking usless thing like her.

The silver moon pack was better, didn’t have this issue-

“I need to know how to help you.” He spoke shaking everyone out of his head and mine, “Don’t listen to them. You’re going to be fine.”

“They’re right.” I laughed seeing the tears falling to the pavement. In the summer heat they were drying up quickly but for a moment they dotted the ground displaying myself in every weakness to the world. “I shouldn’t have even come here.”

“You’re here now.” His hand, it was around my shoulder and my breath was calming down, “Don’t tell me what happened.” He sighed and took his hand back, “Just yes or no, do you want to leave?”

I shrugged. Where would I go? What the fuck kind of order was I just given? Start a new life? How! I had nothing I was nothing!

“Do you want to go to my apartment?”

I shrugged. Maybe I needed somewhere else to go, maybe I needed something neutral.

“Do you want to go home?”

Home? That made me laugh and I felt myself nod. Curiosity was now brewing in my mind as to where he was going to take me that I could call home.

“You’re tired?”

I nodded, I was beyond tired. I was exhausted. I didn’t want to move anymore. Couldn’t he bring my home to me? Was it completely out of line for me to ask?

“Don’t fight me on this okay?” He sounded like he was laughing but I didn’t look over to see his face. I felt him take my bag and put my phone away before putting it over his shoulder. Then he scooped me up carrying me in his arms like I weighed nothing.

I fell against his chest and kept my head low. He was trying so hard to make sure I didn’t move, his heart was beating so quickly too. Reaching up I wrapped one hand around his chest holding onto his neck.

“You’re going to be okay.” He whispered just low enough to where I was the only one who could hear.

I still needed him to reject me, but right now I felt too alone. If I alienated myself any further I was never going to be able to come back from it. What was the harm in letting this moment offer me comfort?

When I woke up next I was somewhere new. It wasn’t new decorwise, no this place was last updated two hundred years ago. The walls were a dark grey with faint white seams in the historic woodwork. The wallpaper was fading and peeling but I could tell at one point it might have been pale yellow with small flowers and vines. The bed was different too. It was a well used twin sized bed with dark blue blankets and grey sheets. I wasn’t laying on the pillow though, my head was rested on the shoulder of Elias who was still only wearing gym shorts. His arms were wrapped around me holding me close not daring to allow me any inch of movement.

Please don’t move. Andre called silently to me, you two are such a cute couple.

I blinked and turned my head to the bottom of the bed seeing Andre sitting at the far side of the room in an old arm chair that that stretched high in the back into wings. “Are you seriously watching us sleep?”

“It’s my room.” he shrugged, “I’m not touching myself if that’s your first thought.”

“It wasn’t!” I laughed and finally managed to get free to sit up nearly falling off the bed before the powerful arm of Elias stopped me.

“If I open my eyes and you’re sitting in that fucking chair-” he warned.

“Don’t worry!” Andre laughed and jumped to his feet, “The house is yours madam.”

“Huh?” I looked down to Elias who finally opened his eyes and pulled me toward the center of the bed as he turned to get up.

“This is the Wallace Estate.” he grumbled and stretched to where I could make out every muscle in his back as he popped his shoulders, “Your home.” he clarified after a yawn.

“Though you did offer to sign it over to me,” Andre winked

“You're not getting it.” Elias sighed sounding more annoyed that conversation was being brought up again.

“Fine fine,” he laughed back, “Rose's got dinner almost done by the way.” Pushing open the door he rushed out. I could hear the sound of people laughing outside the room and suddenly I became far too much aware of the circumstances.

“Your pack is out there aren't they?”

“Hmm?” He turned back to me and started to help himself through Andre’s clothes pulling a sweatshirt out of the wardrobe. The room was so old it didn't even have a closet? “Oh no, the pack doesn't stay here. This is purely for your family. The pack stays at the den.”

“So outside are my relatives?”

He shrugged, “you've got rose, and Andre if thats what you mean.” It wasn't but he seemed to understand. “Lucien, he didn't just take out my parents. Andre lost his too. We never heard why but a lot of the Wallace family was taken out. Rose she was always able to stand up to Lucien Andre we think was left alive because he was meant to restart the tribe. So I'm sorry but they're the only family you've got left.”

Nodding I got to my feet, “guess my dad was right to leave the pack then? Sounds like he would have been killed.”

“Lucien wasn't a good alpha. You'll hear some pack members disagree but they benefited from his reign. You'll learn who's who over time.”

Overtime… hours ago I wasn't going to stay here now it didn't seem like I had a choice. One step outside the pack's territory and I would be hunted, it wasn't like much better was going on inside the territory but if I could set up some new life and convince everyone I wasn't Freya Wallace then I'd be okay. How could I ever do that though?

“It's your house,” Elias's voice guided me out of my thoughts, “you can stay here as long as you want. I'm sure they have a room for you.”

“Is it safe?” I thought back to the giant wolf beast that attacked me earlier. Elias said the only safe place was his penthouse so how was this house okay?

“Safe enough like the penthouse. I'll stay to help watch for you. Plus there's always the den less than a mile away. The pack is sworn to follow me despite their personal opinions and Andre is sworn to protect you. It might sound like there's a traitor in the pack but there are far more willing to protect you than hurt you. Especially if we convince them you and I are together.”

“We-”

“Before you say that's not an option,” he laughed putting up his hand to my lips, “it's just for their benefit. You and I don't actually have to be together. I won't reject you so they think otherwise, just don't be too open about not being together around the pack okay?”

I nodded feeling the guilt rising in my stomach, “will you be okay with that?”

“No,” he spoke plainly but it was better than lying to me, “maybe I'll use it as a way to try to convince you you're wrong. But I really will not force you to do anything you don't want to. I'm not that kind of alpha.”

Why did I want to throw myself around him right now? He seemed to be fuelled by some hidden emotion that was calling out to me. He had said this before though and he'd been keeping me hostage. Because of him I was scrubbed. If he would have just let me go none of this would have happened.

Anger was starting to bubble up now. My fists clenched tight as my nails dug into the palms of my hands, “you're not that kind of alpha?” I scoffed keeping my head low speaking through clenched teeth, “my life is ruined because you wouldn't listen to me. You didn't let me leave and now everything I am, everything I had, all of it is gone. This is my house you say?”

I looked up at him my eyes narrowed. He nodded.

“Get the fuck out of my house. I don’t want to see you, I don’t want to hear you, I don’t want to fucking smell you. You ruined my life and I will never forgive you.”

“Freya-” he reached out to me but I pulled away turning my back to him.

“Get out now or I'll ban the entire pack from the estate.” I wasn't sure if I even had the authority but who knows maybe this was with my scope as owner of this place.

“I'll leave.” He sighed, “I'm sorry.”

“Sorry?” I spat turning back toward him, “you don't know how to listen do you? Get away! You’re a fucking poison to me! I don't love you, I don't care what you do. You’re fucking pathetic!”

He launched backward at my harsh words but I finally managed to get him to leave. Was it right? My gut was telling me no, I was overreacting. Maybe that was true, but at the same time I was getting a moment of clarity and I needed to stick with it.