Chapter 16: Elias

She was infuriating. That was it. I kept seeing little bits here and there of something that could have been with us, but now she has endangered my pack. She nearly got Andre killed, and that fucking thing, however unnatural it was clearly was after her. I needed to cut ties with her. She wanted it, and after everything, maybe she was right. We were too different. 

Then she had to go and stake claim to me. It caused me to let my guard down while fighting and nearly get torn in half, which was my mistake. Oliver saw it with his own eyes, she put down that line, and she warned Chloe not to cross it. I never thought someone could feel that strongly about me. 

Of course, then it ended. She was as changing as the fucking tide. One moment, she was in heat over me, then she tried to run away. Then she claimed me as hers with that very clear signal, and when she lunged for me like I was on my last breath, I thought I was going to collapse into her arms. But she ran away from me, she hid from me. She put her own life in danger on multiple occasions, and she’s been fighting me every single step of the way. What was I supposed to think? 

I changed back quickly, putting on the shorts to chase after her. These woods were well protected, I wasn’t concerned about that. What I was concerned with was her need to just pick a direction and stick to it as if she was being called by someone. “Freya.” I huffed, feeling my side stinging from the long deep gashes left by that monster. “What are you doing?”

She spoke low, her head hanging down as she tried to offer herself some form of comfort with her arms hanging herself, “I don’t know. I just didn’t want to be around any other werewolves right now.”

“Okay, well, you need to tell me-”

“I’ve been telling you.” She snapped, turning to face me, her face was soaking from tears flowing down her face, “I’ve been telling you in so many ways that we can’t be together. I’ve been telling you I can’t be your mate. I’ve been begging you to reject me. If I don’t get out of here, Elias my life will be over.”

“I won’t let anyone hurt you!” 

“It’s nothing you can protect me from.” She pleaded back, “Please, you have to understand, we can’t be together. The only thing here for me is death! I need to leave.”

“Death?” I scoffed, “Do you think so little of my ability to protect you?” 

“You're the problem!” She shouted, “Please, I killed both of my parents already. I don't want you to die because of me too.” 

“Killed your parents?” I looked around to make sure we weren't followed. In these woods, I was convinced we were okay, but after what I just saw, I knew there was always a chance, “What's going on?” 

She sighed and started to pace around, “I'm not like you. I keep telling you there are things about kitsune that make us too different. Your pack thinks of you as the lifeblood. You need to get married, have kids, and carry on your legacy. Kitsune don't think like that. We rarely get married, don't have kids with anyone other than our own kind, and there's a reason for that, just as there's a reason you do do it.” 

“Your mother and father got together though, don't you think they're proof you don't have to live the way you've been taught?” 

“They're dead Elias!” Stomping her foot once more, she waved her hands around, taking up far too much room, “They're dead because they didn't follow the ways they were taught. My mother died giving birth to me and my father died alone, heartbroken, without friends, family. He was completely shattered, and its all my fault. I don't want to die the way my mom did and I don't want you to die the way my father did. You seem like a nice guy, you seem like you really care about everyone and you want what's best for your pack, but clearly there are forces that are fighting us being together. Maybe you're misunderstanding your goddess, and maybe we both need to separate now before anything else goes wrong.” 

“You think I'm misunderstanding my goddess?” Silently, I chuckled and shook my head as my hand slapped against my forehead. Do you want me to explain how wrong you are? You’re not going to believe me. I was told as real as you and I are talking now. You have the eyes of the moon-”

“You're right,” she sighed, not letting me finish, “Why tell me what you think you heard? I don't believe you. I believe what I know. A female kitsune will die if she has a child with a non-kitsune. How could your goddess ever want your mate to be killed like that? I'm sorry Elias. I know you have some belief we could be different, but we can't. It's not possible. Whatever you've been told and whoever told you these things is wrong.” 

“The goddess isn't wrong.” I barked and stomped toward her. “You need to have faith.”

“You're asking me to have faith when it's my life on the line!” 

“Fine.” I shrugged. “No kids, not married, you're still my responsibility. I will not let anything happen to you.” 

“Let me go.” She wined. “Let me leave. That's the best way to protect me. What you want, I can't give it to you. Don't make me. Please, I have no future here. There is nothing for me.” 

Make her? She was terrified, and we were connected enough now for me to know that. She thought I'd force her to do anything? “I’d never-” I whispered, and fear started to settle in my own stomach like a rock. I was acting just like him, I wasn't giving her a choice, and I saw in her that same fear that nearly consumed me more than ten years ago. I vowed I'd never make anyone do something that would terrify them. I was in the wrong. She was right. I needed to let her go. 

“Elias,” she was walking up to me now, shaking with each step; she actually was scared of me. “Please help me leave.” 

I looked down and nodded, hoping she couldn't feel this guilt mixed with anger for myself. I promised I would back off, but why was it so hard from the moment I found out she could access the mental network? I had just convinced myself to mind her, so why now looking at her was I unable to follow through?  

Swallowing my pride and my feelings, I decided once and for all to think of her needs only, Andre, Oliver i called out, I'm taking Freya to the border. Stall the pack until I get back. 

To the border? Andre laughed, why out there? 

She's leaving. 

He's rejecting her. Oliver gasped. 

No he fucking isn't! Andre barked. I'm finding you right now, you two are not-

You're going to stay with the pack until I get back. That's not open for discussion. 

And if you're both attacked? 

They won't be. Oliver sighed. That thing, whatever it was took a lot of power and caused a huge scene. There's no way they'd attack a third time in one day. 

Oh sorry dear boy are you really trying to lecture me on what the opposition would do? 

Enough arguing! I spat and saw Freya wince. She was hearing it all… “I'm taking her to the border. Andre, you're in charge until I get back. 

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11 years ago -Elias 

“Get up,” Lucien growled low, “you and I are going for a walk.” 

A walk? I knew what that meant. I was still sore from the beating yesterday, but at least my nose wasn't broken. Over the years I'd learned how to tell the difference between a bruise and a break. Lucien always seemed to be an expert at pushing that line to see how far he could bend me. Whatever this walk really was, I didn't know. 

We were walking through the park, passing far too many people. My clothes were a mess, my hair was greasy, and I was bruised nearly from head to toe. He just didn't care. Lucien had his long hair pulled back letting it fall down to his shoulders but other than that he could have looked like a park ranger dressed in Kakki pants white t-shirt and boots. It seemed like he wasn't planning on shifting at least. I had proven time and time again I couldn't best him in any form. Having me fight him as that pure white ghost of death was nightmare-inducing. 

We didn't stop at the park, we kept walking in silence. He never felt the need to fill it. I wasn't worth his effort or time socially, I was inferior in so many ways to him, so I didn't argue or try to say anything. 

When we got to the dirt road that led to the den he stopped, finally turning back to me, his broad arms crossed tightly against his chest, “Where are we?” He spoke with such a commanding voice despite the low volume. I never could bring myself to look at him when I spoke.

“The den.” I whispered. 

“You really think you're alpha material, talking like such a fucking wimp?” 

I shrugged, which was the wrong choice. 

“You fucking pathetic halfbreed!” His favorite insult to me and I never knew why. Maybe my birth mother was a human, maybe it's because she didn't stick around. Whatever the reason he slapped me over top of the head. “This is the Wallace estate, this is where our pack's den is. You won't be seeing it. You and I are going hiking.” 

I looked down at my shoes, they were far too worn, the bottom nearly falling out of one. Maybe hiking without them was going to be better. Before I made my choice, though it was made for me. 

He never did like waiting for me to get ready and I knew it was going to be worse if I didn't stay with him, so I continued on. We left the path far too quickly and tried to hide the fact I stumbled over a few branches and lost my footing. 

He caught me though. It was rough and he tossed me back upright before my face met the ground but he actually stopped me from falling. 

“Thank you grand-”

“Shut your mouth.” He hissed pulling he up by my collar so we were nearly brushing noses, “We're far enough now. Shift.”

“Shift?” I whispered back. 

“Shift.” He commanded again, “You're a werewolf,f right? So shift into a damn wolf.” 

“I-” he wasn't serious, he'd done a lot of things to me in the past, but never something like this. “I can't I'm not-” Pausing, I looked around, “it's not-” there were so many reasons, and yet my mouth wouldn't say just one. It was noon, tonight was the new moon, I wasn't old enough, I didn't know how. The reasons continued to pile up, but nothing I could say out loud because it was a direct violation of his order. 

“Shift now or you'll be sorry.” He threw me back to the ground, and I crumbled. My legs weren't working right. Maybe the exhaustion was finally getting to me? “SHIFT!” he yelled once more, his voice startling the trees and birds. 

I went to my hands and knees, lowering my head with as much pleading as I could into what was left of my voice. I shook my head, “Please, I can't. I-i don't know how. I'm not old enough-” 

“You want to call yourself an Anderson wolf? You expect to be made alpha of the greatest pack in the world? You dare go against your alpha?” 

“No sir.” I sighed, “I'll try.” 

“You'll try?” He laughed, and his boot made contact with my face as he sent me flying backwards, “You will!” 

I wiped my mouth, tasting the blood, and felt my busted lip. He wanted me to do the impossible now. I had accepted some things I thought I couldn't do when in reality I could but this, this was impossible. No one could do it. I didn't know the first thing. 

“If you don’t shift, you’re not a werewolf. If you’re not a werewolf, you are useless and I do not waste my time on the useless.” 

Something in me snapped at that moment. I spat to the side the blood that had pooled in my mouth, and I glared back at him. “You’re telling me to do something impossible!” Where was this strength coming from? I was getting back to my feet now, and I was standing up to him. How? 

“You pathetic halfbreed-”

“No!” I snapped, “I am your fucking grandson. You may be the alpha and the strongest of us all but even you weren’t strong enough to change against the moon and before you were ready. You can’t force me to!” 

“Oh I can’t?” He smiled widely. Those canines extended, and I felt the air shift. He was an old wolf, one that had abilities beyond anyone else in the pack. I was so wrong to think I could stand up to him. This was going to get me killed. He sprang forward with far more speed than I could anticipate and took my arm in his claws. “Shift now!” The rumble in his throat was vibrating through the air, and I tried with every ounce of strength I had to get my arm back, hitting him, pulling away, but he was as still as a mountain. 

“I can’t!” Struggling, I felt my arm twist. There was blood coming out of his mouth now. Why was there blood coming out of his mouth? That’s when he slid those teeth against my skin and in a flash he bit down as if he meant to inject his own blood into me. “What are you doing!” I yelled, feeling the world starting to turn upside down. 

“You’ll listen to me now!” He called and threw me back to the ground. “SHIFT!”

I didn’t have a choice; whatever he was doing, it was like my body was forcing me to obey him. I tossed over to my knees. He-he did something. I felt tight, stretched, not in my own skin. Whatever was under my skin wanted out, and I clawed at my face trying to help it. “AAAHHH!” My screams echoed off the far mountain, and I lunged forward, my knees giving out as I slid my face planted into the ground. “MAKE IT STOP!” No amount of yelling or pleading was going to make this go away, and as I looked up at him he was smiling. 

“Shift faster!” He yelled over my pleas. 

I obeyed though. I obeyed and I felt my skin tearing, my arms were stretching,g and I was on fire, not just itching but I was burning up. 

“This is taking too long!” He called once more. 

I couldn’t talk now, I just felt whimpers and moans in my chest. Gradually it started to die down, but it lingered well after the sunset. I felt like I had been forced through the fire and my body was never going to obey me again. The world hurt me. The sounds were too loud, the scents of grass stung my nose and I couldn’t block any of it. 

“Now turn back.” I heard him speaking low, maybe he knew I could hear him, but I couldn’t move. I had obeyed him before but not now. I was myself again and I still wasn’t sure what that even meant. “I said turn back!” 

Thats when I lifted my head glaring back at him seeing him for the first time with my new eyes. He was just an old man. He wasn’t someone who had any control over me anymore. I was free. 

“Run,” I felt the whisper through the air, it was a suggestion though not an order that I was forced to follow but somehow that whispering wind of a voice was something I wanted to follow above all else. 

I tried standing up, my legs buckled though and I fell once more with a groan. No, I looked down, I was trying to stand on two legs, I wasn’t built for that anymore. Why couldn’t I figure this out? All four at the same time then. I pushed upward and finally I was on my feet. 

“Congratulations,” Lucien rolled his eyes, “You can stand up. A fucking pup can stand. You’re nothing special.”

But I was special, No werewolf had ever done what I’m doing right now. Not even he had done this. If Lucien, the great alpha of the Hollow Moon Pack he couldn’t shift until he was older than me. I am the youngest werewolf to ever shift. This was uncharted territory. What else could I do if I was this strong? 

I turned now barring my teeth at him. 

“Think you’re stronger than me then?” He cracked a wide grin once more. 

“Run…” the wind whispered again. 

“I’m not impressed.” He shrugged and dared turn his back, “Until you shift back you’re still nothing to me.”

How do I shift back? I took a step forward but fell once more. He was right, I was still useless. My false sense of strength was fading and I was just here nothing special. 

“Shift back now!” He growled flashing back at me his eyes glowing bright blue. 

I shook his command from my mind. If he was going to force me to be like this I’d decide when to return. 

“Elias!” He barked

But I was getting to my feet again and this time I was going to listen to the wind. I turned and tried running falling over my own feet once more. 

“You fucking coward!” He called after me. “Don’t bother coming home you disgrace! Until you change back you are forbidden from going near the pack do you hear me?” 

But I was continuing to run and fall until I couldn’t hear him anymore. The trees themselves were providing me some comfort drowning out his voice.