Intertwined Fates

Chapter One: Intertwined Fates

Charlie’s PoV

I’m one of those people who don’t get drunk so easily. I can hold my liquor well na madali kong natatalo ang kasama kong mga lasinggero sa bahay palagi kapag nag-iinuman kami. But this is one of those nights na I let myself really loose kasi sino naman hindi kapag nalaman mong nareject ka na naman ng lalakeng gusto mo?

Sinasabi sakin ni papa at nila kuya na mas lalake raw kasi ako sa kanila kaya nasasaktan ang ego nila at minsan hindi nakakatulong ‘yung mga ganun sa akin. Kasi ibig sabihin never akong magkakaboyfriend kung lahat ng gugustuhin ko na lang maiintimidate sa akin! Kahit simula pa lang nung bata ako kapag nagkakagusto ako sa lalake, kapag nilalapitan ko sila, nandidiri sila sakin kasi para raw akong lalakeng umasta kaya di nila ako magugustuhan. I would cry myself to sleep every night and my papa would always tell me na one day someone will accept me for who I am.

I am almost 30 years old, when will I meet that someone he always talks about? Nakailang ex na rin ako na hindi tumatagal kasi masyado raw akong– I don’t know, manly, to be taken seriously. I don’t exclude myself from the rest of the women because I, too, like guys, pero kapag lumaki na puro lalake ang kasama mo sa bahay, you’d surely adapt to whatever masculinity they show. Gusto mo rin na maangas ka just to fit in. Hindi ako umiiyak sa mga asar nila or whatever, pero kapag nareject ako ng crush ko, grabe ang hagulgol ko and they would always cheer me up in the best they could.

Gusto ko magka anak na hindi ganun kalaki ang agwat ng edad namin para mas mahabang panahon ko makakasama but you know what, I’m slowly giving up on my hopes and dreams of having a family of my own someday– that I could find someone who will love me unconditionally. Pwede ko naman magawa ‘yun ng walang lalake, di’ba? But I don’t want to grow old and die alone!

And now, I’m outside of a bar, drunk out of my arse. Kaya ko pa, my mind’s just a little hazy and my movements are all wobbly but I’m still conscious! They didn’t crown me beer king for nothing nung nag-party kami sa company at nagulat lahat ng kasamahan ko ‘run nung nakita nila kung nakailang shots ako and I’m still okay. Halos ako na nga nagmaneho sa mga katrabaho ko pauwi and that made me sober through enough na nakipag-inuman pa ako kayla papa nung makauwi na ako.

It’s my heart that can’t take it anymore. I’m so desperate to find someone na at kung may mag-propose man sakin within this week, I’ll even take it whoever they are! I have nothing against women, I have all the respect and love for them but I like men, too.

Siguro nga kasi mas pogi ako sa mga nagugustuhan ko kaya ganito sila sa akin. Natatapakan ko raw ego nila at ayaw nilang malalakas bunganga na babae. It’s not my fault I was raised like this! Sakin na rin, perhaps, na maling mga lalake nagugustuhan ko. Madali kasi ako ma-fall! Kaunting pakita lang ng interes sa akin ng lalake, I would have definitely fallen for that trap.

“Hey, going home?”

My inner monologue was interrupted by a few drunk men who were surrounding themselves around me. Paninigurado siguro nila na wala akong matatakasan. Amoy na amoy sa kanila yung baho ng alak.

I would have rejoiced about this kasi binibigyan ako ng ganitong ka attractive na mga lalake ng atensyon but not in this way. Alam ko yung tingin nila; alam ko yung binabalak nila. It’s not good and that’s what’s pissing me off right now. They don’t have clean intentions.

“Pre, sure kang babae ‘yan?” tanong pa ng isa na tinitingnan ako mula ulo hanggang paa. “Are we getting trapped here?”

Alam kong I don’t have the usual appearance of a woman– feminine, whatever you think to describe what a woman looks like. I’m taller than most women, bulkier, have a deeper voice and whatever. Pero tulad nga ng sinabi ko, I have adapted my family’s masculinity. Kung tutuusin nga talaga, mas gwapo pa ako sa kanila.

“Yes, I’m a woman.” sagot ko na rin na nagcross-arms pa bago sila panliitan ng mata.

“Biologically?” nagtawanan sila sa tanong pa ng isa na nakikitawa na rin ako kasi akala talaga nila nakakatawa. “Wala ka ring lumalawit? Or did you have it before? Surgically removed?”

Kadiri. Minsan talaga napapaisip ako kung ano ba gusto ko sa mga lalake. “Ha, that’s so funny. You think you’re so funny and witty.” tawa ako nang tawa nun na napatahimik na rin silang lahat kahit nakangiti pa rin ako sa kanila. “What, why did we stop laughing?”

They looked at me as if I was the one who was losing their shit.

“Oi! What are you trying to do to her!?” 

Out of nowhere, there was someone else trying to interfere. Humarap ang mga lalake kung saan nanggaling ang boses, kaya napatingin na rin ako na nagtaka kung bakit may hawak-hawak pa ang iniinom na beer sa kamay na halatang hindi nga kaya dalhin ang sarili. She was hiccuping.

Nagkatinginan ang mga lalake and from there I knew what they were thinking. Kaya madali akong pumagitan sa kanila at pumwesto sa harap ng babae. Even though she was a lot taller than I was, I knew I was more capable of fighting seeing her situation.

“Sabi na nga lalake, pre. Buti na lang hindi pa natin pinapatulan.”

“What? Hindi ka pa ba nakakakita ng babae na pinoprotektahan kapwa babae niya?” tanong ko pa na mas naiinis na lang din na nakalimutan ko na nga na lasing pa ako in the first place.

“What are you doing harassing a woman, ha?” tanong pa ng babae sa likod na sinusubukan pang mas i-provoke yung mga lalake na mukhang balewala lang din sa kanila ang nangyayari. “Let me give them a piece of my mind! Let’s face this man-to-man!”

They’re douchebags. 

Wait- what did she say? Man-to-man?

Hindi lang ‘yung mga lalake tumingin sa babae sa likod ko, pati ako na kasi I swear she’s a woman. She’s too pretty to be a man but if she is– then I must have drank a lot to come to this point. 

“Man-to-man? Nakarami ka na ata ng nainom, sweetheart.” napangiti pa ang isang lalake sa kanya though in a mocking tone. “Lalake ka ba o nababaliw ka lang?”

“Are you underestimating me?” tanong pa ng babae na inalis na ako sa harap at pagaywang-gaywang na nilapitan ang mga kausap. “I may not look like a man but I can beat you up like one!”

I worry for her. It’s obvious she’s not in the current state of mind at kung pumatol nga ‘tong mga lalake sa kanya, her pretty face will get busted up and I can’t have that happening. Not when I’m around.

Hindi ko na napigilan si Miss Girl at nauna na siyang sumuntok sa lalakeng malapit sa kanya. Madali ko rin siyang nahawakan sa baywang para pigilan siya pero ako ‘yung nagulat nung may lakas siyang hindi ko inakala. She was right, I shouldn’t underestimate her but she wasn’t winning this fight at all. Nung nabitawan ko siya na hindi ko naman sinasadya, nauna ang mukha niya sa semento at sinubukan ko siyang patayuin kaagad but I was pushed aside and the impact left me on the pavement. It did strain my ankle for the time being. 

My knight and shining armour was on the streetside, getting beaten up by a bunch of drunk men. Wala akong sinasabing mahina mga babae but at this rate, she’s going to die. Tumayo na rin ako nun na inayos pa ang sarili, shaking off the dust on my shoulder bago ko hilahin ang isa na sinuntok ko kaagad sa mukha nito with all the strength I had left.

“Mga gago ba kayo!?” tanong ko pa nung maihagis ko na ang isang lalake sa gilid. “Mananakit kayo ng babae? Lalake ba talaga kayo? May mga bayag ba kayo?”

“Masyado kasi pakialamera! Ikaw din gusto mong matulad dito?”

“Babae ‘yan, mga ‘tol. Mag-isip nga kayo. O yung utak niyo nandiyan sa mga libido niyo?” inis ko pang tanong as I glanced over to the guy I handled na patayo na ulit.

Tiningnan ko ang babae na umuungol na sa sakit na nararamdaman. I felt so bad for her but there was something on the ground, kaya dali ko rin itong kinuha na nakita na wallet pa. Baka wallet nung isa sa mga lalake pero nung binuka ko at kinuha ang ID, ni wala sa kanila yung lalakeng nasa picture. And that led me to believe that the woman… who was almost unconscious…

Is a guy.