5. There He Is

“How much do you want it, Soraya?”

His voice is a low rasp against my skin. His mouth travels down the valley between my breasts, completely unhurried, his stubble scraping a path of fire over my ribs.

Then lower and lower it goes.

My back arches off the bed, my fingers twisting in the sheets.

“Answer me,” he commands.

“I want it,” I breathe. “I want it so bad.”

“Then prove it.”

“How?” I’m gasping. My whole body is trembling, aching.

He lifts his head. Those icy gray eyes burn into mine.

“Beg for it.”

I don’t hesitate. I don’t think.

“Please.”

“Raya!”

The loud voice yanks me out of the dream like a hand around my throat.

My eyes fly open, blinking as the rays of morning light assault them.

The first thing I realize is that my bedsheets are tangled around my legs and my skin is damp with sweat.

The second thing I realize is that my hand is between my legs. My fingers are inside me.

I rip them out like I’ve touched a hot stove. My heart is slamming, my face is on fire, and I’m breathing like I just ran a mile.

I was fingering myself.

In my sleep.

Where I was begging Cade Carter to fuck me.

So much for leaving what happened last night behind me.

“Raya, I’m coming in!”

I barely have time to yank the blanket up to my chin before the door swings open and Nia walks in, her dark curls piled on top of her head and a mug in her hand.

She’s been my roommate and my friend since our first year, and she has never once knocked.

“Wow.” She looks me over. “I was starting to think you were dead or something. How are you still sleeping? It’s almost noon.”

That’s what tossing and turning for most of the night, thinking about the fact that I nearly gave myself to my crush’s stepbrother in the clubhouse bathroom, does to a girl.

Obviously, I don’t say that out loud.

“I was tired,” I mumble.

“Well, get up. Dax is in the living room.”

My eyes widen. “What?”

“He’s here to see you.”

I stare at her. Dax never comes to my apartment without checking my availability first.

Unless he found out.

The thought turns my blood to ice. Did someone see Cade and me going into the bathroom?

Did Cade say something?

“Hey.” Nia’s teasing look fades. “Is everything okay?”

“Yeah.” I blink at her. “Tell him I’ll be out in a minute.”

She gives me one more eyebrow-raised look before she leaves the room.

Scrambling out of bed, I go into the bathroom and splash cold water on my face before brushing my teeth.

I stare at my reflection and the faint flush that hasn’t left my cheeks since last night. I really need to get my shit together before Dax suspects something happened.

When I step into the living room, Dax is sitting on the couch in a short-sleeved T-shirt that hugs his shoulders, his elbows on his knees, looking so good it physically hurts.

He beams when he sees me, and it doesn’t fail to once again make my heart somersault.

“Raya.”

“I didn’t know you were coming,” I say.

“I tried calling. Your phone’s off.”

“Oh.” My battery must have died sometime last night, and I never noticed. “Sorry.”

“It’s fine.” He leans back, his eyes scanning my face. “Speaking of last night, where did you disappear to at the party?”

My heart stutters.

“I wasn’t with anyone.”

The second the words leave my mouth, I want to punch myself. He didn’t even ask that.

“I mean,” I add quickly, “I was just hanging around for a bit. Then I got tired and left.”

“You should’ve said bye first.”

“You looked busy with Brenna.” I keep my eyes on his face and pray my voice sounds completely normal. “I didn’t want to disturb you.”

Guilt flashes across his face.

“Hey.” He holds out his hand to me, and I take it.

The familiar surge of sensation races up my arm, and I hate it.

I hate that even now, even after accepting that he’ll never be mine, it still works on me.

“I’m sorry about how Lilian spoke to you at the mixer. That was really rude and out of line,” he says, his voice apologetic.

I bite my lip. “She wasn’t the only one who was rude to me.”

He pauses. “Brenna didn’t mean it like that. I’m sure she didn’t mean it in a bad way.”

It stings. It always stings when he defends her, the way he always does. But what else can I expect?

I push my lips into a smile. “Sure. Apology accepted.”

“I knew you would understand.” Dax grins. “You’re the best.”

He tugs me close and presses a long kiss to my cheek. It’s something he always does.

And he has no idea what that does to me.

“I really hope you can learn to get along with Brenna,” he says when he pulls back. “You’re my best friend. And now that she’s my fiancée, I really want you guys to be cool.”

Best friend. I try to ignore the sting that always comes with that title.

“Fiancée.” Dax laughs and shakes his head. “It still sounds crazy to say.”

“Yeah,” I say. “It does sound crazy.”

He looks at me. “I know we’re young. I know that. But I’ve never been this sure about anyone, Raya. I’m head over heels for her.”

I force my smile wider until my cheeks ache. “I’m happy as long as you are.”

“I am.” His whole face softens. Then he nudges my knee. “Hey, you’re coming to practice later, right?”

“Of course. I’ll be there after my last lecture,” I say.

Because when have I ever said no to Dax?

Dax leaves ten minutes later. As the door clicks shut behind him, I stand in the middle of the living room, staring at nothing.

“Are you okay?”

I turn. Nia is leaning in the kitchen doorway, arms crossed, watching me.

“I’m fine.”

“I saw Dax and Brenna’s engagement video online,” she says quietly. “Everyone’s talking about it.”

I flash her a smile. “I’m perfectly fine, Nia. Don’t worry about me.”

She doesn’t say anything else. She just nods.

But we both know it’s a lie.

༺❀༻༺❀༻༺❀༻

After two consecutive lectures that leave me tired as hell, I walk into the Sterling ice arena with a cup of Dax’s favorite coffee warming my palm.

The boys are already on the ice warming up, the place echoing with laughter, the clacking of sticks, and the sound of skates screeching on the ice.

“Damn, Ashford!” Chase hollers when he sees me, running his eyes over my body in a way that has always made my skin crawl. “Those pants look so damn hot on you!”

Dax skates over and smacks him upside the head. “Be respectful, man.”

“What? I’m only complimenting her!”

Dax rolls his eyes and skates over to the boards where I am. He takes the cup from my hand, takes a large sip of the coffee, then grins at me.

“Thanks, Raya. You always know just how I like it.”

I’m about to reply to that when a sharp whistle cuts through the air.

Coach Miller, coach of the hockey team, stands at the edge of the ice with his arms folded. The boys immediately start drifting towards him.

“Listen up. I’ve got some important news.”

Everyone immediately goes quiet. That’s the kind of authority Coach Miller carries.

“We’ve got a new transfer joining the team, effective today. He’ll be playing with us for the rest of the season.”

The boys look at each other.

“Who?” someone calls.

“There he is.” Coach jerks his thumb over their shoulders.

Everyone turns. So do I.

And I nearly choke on my own saliva.

Because walking towards us isn’t just any player.

It’s Cade.