Chapter 5

The drive from the airport was a quiet one of course, cause I had no one to talk to. Nellie had gone her own way and my father wasn't even aware of my arrival to send his driver waiting for me at the airport.

I thought more about how to disclose the news of my pregnancy to my family, my dad especially, than how happy I'd be to finally see them again. Though Dad has never been one to chatter and laugh about my life ever since the loss of my sister, he only laid concern when I did something that could tarnish him or his business, maybe I have already done that and I wondered so much what his reaction will be.

I roll my luggage box to our small mansion, my legs trembling with every step I take. Just as I raise my hands to press on the doorbell, the huge doors open to my father facing me.

His eyes widen in shock and he steps closer to meet me with a small smile on his lips.

"I wasn't expecting you, Gianna."

I crack a smile at him. I wasn't expecting myself to. I didn't know what to say. I would have if we connected like father and daughter but unfortunately. I decide to ask how he is but he speaks up before I can, moving to walk away, probably bored with the nice-to-see-you event happening in front of his mansion.

"I have someone important to pick up from the airport. I'll be back." He taps on my shoulder as he walks off.

I huff and make my way into the house to see workers busy with decorations. "What's going on?" I asked one of the workers who was passing by.

"Welcome ma'am. The boss is organizing an important function. We've been ordered to decorate the house for the party tonight but we don't know what exactly for."

I nod, looking at the decorations before looking back at him. "Is my mum and brother around?" I ask, internally wishing I don't get to face them. He stares at me confused and I got the message that he's not a regular worker here. "Okay," I say, dismissing him. A party is the last thing I want to be involved in but Papa is going to make me see no other option, especially now that I'm back after so long.

I make my way to my room. It was clean and just as I had left it. I quickly showered and decided to visit somewhere important before the party.

I walk out of the house to my car without telling anyone where I'm heading to. On my way, I stop to buy a bouquet by the roadside before driving to the cemetery.

Visiting my dead sister's graveyard was the first thing I had in mind to do the moment I came back to the States and I'm glad I'm able to squeeze into the time before the party to do so.

Nothing would stop me.

I make my way through the concreted pathway that led to her grave. Her stone was dirty grey like it's been ages since she died. It's not been up to a month and her stone had been abandoned like she meant nothing while she was alive.

I squat to drop the bouquet on the stone. I crack a smile. "I'm sure you're happy and safe where you are now." I ran my hands on her engraved name which is JOANA DOXON.

This was my first time visiting her grave after her funeral, as my dad had made me move to Canada for safety reasons. Seeing her grave now brings back a lot of memories and emotions, both sad and happy ones that I thought I'd gotten over.

I lied. I lied to myself when I moved to Canada and thought I could move on. It's difficult to mend a broken heart, I forgot.

I place my hand on my tummy. "Look, you would have been a loving aunt. I wish you were still alive to care for me and my baby." I bite on my lip, holding myself. "I'll tell him or her about you. About how smart and intelligent you were. How sweet and brave you were and how annoying you were too." I chuckle at the last part, quickly cleaning my cheeks as a tear escapes.

I do a poor job, right? At hiding my tears.

"He or she will love you, even while you're away," I say, cleaning another tear. "Rest well Joanna." I stare at her stone for a while before standing. I sniff and turn to walk out of the graveyard.

I miss her. There was a certain void in me which haven't been replaced for three years. It stings now and then.

. . and I wished to get better.