The Kink Hypothesis

I've never liked the idea of spring cleaning. I mean, after summer, spring was the worst season to get any cleaning done. For one thing, I got hay fever, and the dust from cleaning only made me feel even worse, and for another, why would I want to clean when I could be sitting indoors with a glass of rose tea, right next to my air purifier?

Now, fall cleaning. I like that better. I get everywhere shiny in preparation for winter, and I don't have to deep clean for a few more months. Of course, I only like it when it isn't fall yet. Which was why I was grumbling and groaning as I shoved at my bed, trying to move it to the side so I could mop the floor underneath.

The bed slid to the side for a few seconds, then stopped, and refused to budge. After another bout of pushing and growling, I finally stopped, and looked under the bed, realizing something was holding it in place. A floorboard had come loose.

"Son of a bitch."

I cursed under my breath some more as I went down on my knees, and slid under the bed, trying to see how bad the damage to the floor was. A rectangular piece of wood was sticking out, and I tugged on it slightly. It slid out of place, leaving me gaping at a small hole in the floor.

"What the..." It was dark under the bed, but I could see a faint outline of something dark and wrapped in what looked like leather.

Praying it wasn't a dead animal or something creepy like that, I stuck my hand into the hold, and pulled out the object. Dust rose, and I sneezed, at the same time scooting back out from under the bed.

In the light, I could see that the object was squarish, and the leather binding was worn. I unravelled the binding to reveal an old book with shamanistic markings carved into the cover.

Wow.

The house had been an inheritance from my great aunt Rose, and because she'd had a reputation for being a dark witch, no one wanted the house, claiming it was too creepy. I instantly fell in love with it. I thought the house had personality. But I suppose that might be because I shared some similarities with Great Aunt Rose.

I opened the book, hoping it wasn't a book of hexes or something I wouldn't really have a use for. What I saw instead, shocked me. It was a spell book alright. And the spells were only for one thing.

Sex.

I flipped through all the pages, dumbfounded. There were pictures of naked people with arrows pointing to boobs or pussies or cocks, and instructions on the spells to cast to make them bigger or tighter or thicker.

My jaw dropped when the next page I turned had a picture of a woman being fucked hard in the middle of a pentagon, by a wonderfully handsome man with horns and a tail.

No shit.

Demon sex.

Whoa. Great Aunt Rose was even more unhinged than I thought. I didn't know if she actually used the book, but she must have, right? I mean, it was a sex spellbook, for God's sake! Who wouldn't use it? In fact, I was already thinking of a few things...

No! I said to myself firmly. Snap out of it!

But... Fuck, my nipples were tingling, and there was a familiar ache between my legs. I glanced at my drawer where my battery powered boyfriend lay. Did I really want to get out my vibrator now when I was supposed to be cleaning?

I glanced at the naked people again, and decided that yes, I wanted that vibrator.

Swearing under my breath, I set the book down by the bed, and pulled the drawer open. I got out my favorite toy — a ribbed vibrating dildo I'd named Tony. Tony looked really good.

It was like the spellbook was calling my name. Maybe I could check if one of those spells actually worked? I mean, it couldn't hurt, right?

Before I could overthink it, I got back on my feet and found some chalk. Then, I drew a pentagon in the middle of my room. If I was going to do this, then I was going to do this right.

The Pentagon was complete and ready to go. At least the spell didn't call for anything else other than a lit candle. It was relatively simple. I grabbed one of my scented candles from my dresser, then set it at the first point of the Pentagon. After that, I raced out of the bedroom, to the kitchen, and came back with a lighter. I lit the candle with my hands slightly shaking, and goosebumps all over my body.

Was I really doing this? The rational part of my brain warned me that I would either end up regretting it, or the spell wouldn't work, and I would end up looking stupid. I brushed those concerns aside. How would I regret a sex spell, and if I did end up looking stupid, who was here to see it?

Maybe if I had a boyfriend I wouldn't bother with this, but I guess loneliness has its price. I took Tony and the spell book and sat in the circle inside the Pentagon, memorized the spell, then began to chant with my eyes closed.

I felt stupid at first when nothing happened, but then, I felt the room get colder. A stiff breeze blew, and I shivered. I knew the windows were closed, but it was like my brain hadn't yet decided if I should be scared, or just cold.

The chant ended, and slowly, shakily, I opened my eyes.

A man was sitting in front of me. And not just any man. A completely naked, devilishly handsome man with a wicked grin and shoulders that went on for miles. His body looked like he was sculpted from marble, and he was sitting cross-legged, with the biggest cock I'd ever seen casually in his lap. He was a wetdream.

I screamed.