Trigger warning, panic attack, suicide, ptsd
1 month later, Valetta, Malta
I raised my hands wrapped in boxing gloves and tried to relax my shoulders. They shouldn’t be stiff or too high. That would make my belly vulnerable. I put my right leg forward and crouched a little just enough to easy to avoid an attack coming to my face. I looked at the man standing opposite me and once his eyes met mine, I tried to hit him with my right fist. He blocked it as always, but it didn’t’ mean it will stop me from trying to punch him again and again. When I tried to hit him for the fourth time, he raised his fist so quickly I couldn’t even see it before I felt pain on the left side of my head. I staggered backward and shook my head like a wet dog.
‘’ I told you to be careful when you attack because you leave your guard open.’’ Leo’s voice was even and unbothered. On the other hand, I was already breathing with difficulties. ‘’Don’t focus only on attacking. You need to prot
It was cold. My limbs were numb. All my surroundings were somewhat hazy. With every minute passing, the pain in my heart became less and less hurtful. Surely, I was dying. Pierced with a bullet in an abandoned warehouse like some mafia thug who dared to steal money or sell the poor quality drug to his business partner. Oh my, wasn't I pitiful? Well, I wish that was the case. Honestly, in my last moments, I preferred to die for whatever reason, including incurable disease, being a bad person who did unimaginable deeds and now suffered retribution or just a f*ckin incident where the plane crashed. But no. I was dying mostly because of my stupidity. Maybe, at some point, I started to realise that my feelings would lead me to suffer like hell. But little did I know that I would have been killed because I dared to fall in love. I was shot because I was seen as an obstacle to the happy ending of two people. How pathetic. Too bad that I realised that late. If I didn't feel too weak, I would
The people's chatters drummed in my head, desperately trying to destroy every left working neuron in my brain. I opened my eyes only to be blinded by the lights of the enormous chandelier above my head. I blinked, confusion evident on my face. What happened? Was this some hallucination due to the shock my body experienced? I heard before that oxygen deprivation could cause a person to become disoriented and confused, but I never knew that I would start to imagine things. ''Luo, darling, are you fine?'' Next second there was a hand on my shoulder. I looked unbelievingly at my mother, whose face was painted with worry. ''Why don't you answer me?'' ''I suppose I am. '' I whispered back. '' I need some fresh air.'' The sound of my heels could be heard on the cold marble floor as I was trying to find a quiet place to put my thoughts in order. My mother asked me to wait, but I ignored her. My head was a mess. Everything looked so real. The noises, the scents, the view and the taste of cham
Bianca D'Arcangelo was Leonardo's cousin. On the surface, she was charming, bright and naïve. Her personality's purity evoked the kindness and the strong desire of people around her to protect such a rare gem. But, her inner self was nothing like that. Unfortunately, I found out too late. Like all these people, I thought Bianca is an example of some of the best qualities a woman can have. I used to like her and tried to form a friendship. She perfectly pretended to be close and loyal, helping me when I was in need. I thought because she had such a close relationship with Leonardo, that she would lend me a hand in making him fall in love with me. Funny thing, he started to hate me due to her ''help''. I had no idea what things she spoke behind my back; however, he became disgusted at even looking at me thanks to her. ''Little one, your friend doesn't look healthy. Stay with her and if she doesn't get better, find the butler.'' I didn't stop my sneering on time and had to cover my mout
I woke up in a hospital ward. There was an IV in my hand. I looked with empty eyes at the ceiling, remembering what happened. Firstly, I was tortured day and night. Secondly, a woman looking almost like me told me some fairytale about reliving my life. Of course, I totally didn't believe her words and gave my consent because I thought I was in delirium. However, before I realised what was going on, I was back in the past a year before my life was ruined—the d*mned banquet night when my attraction to Leonardo started. During it, I tried my best to preserve my image on the surface, but my emotions were in a mess.Thankfully, being in the hospital allowed me to reflect on everything until now calmly. If this really were my second chance, I would use it to the fullest. For instance, if I was correct, this time in my past life was crucial. Back then, I chose to stay in Scotland with my dad because his collaboration with Leonardo would take months. I thought it was a great ch
City D*, Fújiàn Province, China The sun was warm and bright high in the sky. My skin absorbed its rays. The ocean water glistered like a million diamonds. I watched absent-minded the foam formed near the shore. My body was sluggish. A few more minutes, and I would fall into a deep slumber. Anticipating this, I closed my eyes, ready for a dreamless rest. This was the only way I could sleep. A week ago, when I came to China, I realised I could not sleep at night. I had constant nightmares where I screamed and begged while my bones were breaking. There was a demon with Xavier's face with hellish eyes and scalpel in hand. I woke up in cold sweat and with a shaking body. After this happened for three days in a row, I was afraid of falling asleep. Intentionally, I stayed awake for two whole days before I felt my eyes were unable to stay open anymore. Exhausted, I slept for fourteen hours. My mom was worried about me. She constantly asked how I felt and even offered a psychologist's help. S
Evening came fast. I yawned leisurely, watching the city lights from the car's window. They were so blinding it hurt. I closed my eyes, but the drowsiness immediately attacked my body. God, I didn't sleep since yesterday afternoon. Even though I knew, I could stay awake a while longer, but my brain wouldn't be in its best condition.''Xiao Luo, you won't fall asleep in the club, will you?'' Yan Si asked worriedly. I looked at him disdainfully.''Now, you are afraid. You should have let me sleep on the beach instead of pestering me the whole time.''''But the human body is meant to sleep during the night and work during the day. It's unhealthy to switch your sleeping regime.'' He said righteously.''Did you know about people called night owls? Or you live under a rock?''''These are exceptions. Plus, these people don't stay up the whole night. They go to sleep after midnight. Not like you, who wander like a ghost in the mansion until sunrise and dur
The next evening, the whole family sat together to have a meal. I was a bit under the weather due to my lack of sleep, and grumpy observed the family members from my maternal side. Grandfather was the Yan family's head and my uncle, followed by Yan Si, his successors. My mother was his only daughter, and she didn't get along with her father. If it wasn't for my cousin's engagement, I doubt I would ever have the opportunity to see them face to face again. The reason for their animosity was my father. Not only he wasn't the chosen spouse from grandfather, but he was even a foreigner. This displeased the old tyrant so much he found a way to estrange their relationship. With lies, manipulation and threats, he forced my mother to come back to China from Scotland, where she studied as an exchange student. Once in his hands, he never let her leave. My father was deceived that mom married someone else and never knew he had a daughter until I was ten. Then they got together thanks to my uncle.
The seaside manor was prepared for tonight celebration. There was still an hour before the first guests arrived. I was watching the servants making arrangements on the beach from my room on the second floor. Today the weather was so pleasant. It wasn't warm nor cool—just my favourite type. I suppressed a yawn hoping I wouldn't fall asleep during dinner. I hadn't slept since yesterday afternoon. Maybe I needed to drink another cup of coffee. I made my move to the first floor, where the kitchen was. I didn't want to interrupt the servants, so I was going to make it myself. The manor wasn't as spacious as other people's manors living in this private residential area; however, it was the most beautiful. The combination of traditional and modern Eastern exterior made it look grand, royal, elegant and sophisticated. The interior was inspired by the West, which brought a unique, relaxing charm. Two cultures were combined harmonically. I remember when I was a child, how much I loved playing