chapter 23

Tali's POV

Once again, Uncle wanted another way to hurt me to humiliate me in front of the pack, and he could do it so easily since he never let me attend mating ceremonies and pack events. I would never have known if he was lying or telling the truth when he told me sex in front of the pack happened in every mating.

He must have found it fucking hilarious how uncomfortable the prospect of having sex with a stranger in front of the pack made me. No wonder he didn't want me and Dayne meeting to get to know each other before the ceremony. Probably, he thought that Dayne would give his game away.

No doubt he would've loved rubbing it in my face if Dayne hadn't insisted we leave at the very night of our mating.

I'm surprised that Dayne would've agreed to it if it wasn't necessary. Unless Uncle made it a condition of whatever arrangement they have with each other. But it still strikes me as strange since I've met alphas before not many, but some and they never would have agreed to do something they didn't want to.

There are a couple of events that stick in my mind, and both times Uncle was in search of an alpha he could palm me off to in exchange for something, land or money, or whatever the fuck he wanted but didn't want to work for.

He took me to one when I was thirteen, and luckily for me, the alphas made Uncle leave because I was too young to be mated. They threatened to gut him if he even thought about bringing me back before I was eighteen.

To this day, I'm still bitter that they recognized Uncle treated me like shit, but none of them did anything to help me.

Later, not long after I turned eighteen, he took me to another alpha meeting in southern Colorado to get me mated to an alpha who had something he wanted. But once again, no one wanted him there, so he took it out on me, and was so worried someone would hear me crying after I ran off to lick my wounds we left.

We weren't there for even twenty-four hours before he took me home again.

I wonder what Dayne traded to get me, and why, since I'm so worthless to everyone else.

Without another word, I stand, forcing all my hurt and pain from my face, shoving all my emotion in a well deep down. It's close to overflowing, this well inside me, but for at least another day all I can hope is it will keep Dayne from seeing how deep my pain goes.

The silence in the den is so unnatural, I feel even worse that I'm the cause of it. I've heard them down here when I'm up in my room laughing, joking, being happy and normal.

But the moment I step into the same room with them, I make things awkward. I shouldn't have come here. I shouldn't have let myself think for even a second, I was one of them. Not when I know I never will be.

Refusing to lift my head, though I can feel the weight of their gazes following me, I make my way to the door, and to where Dayne is standing in front of it.

"Excuse me, please," I murmur, keeping my eyes on the ground.

When he doesn't move, I attempt to slip around him, only he mirrors me. He says nothing and I get the sense he's waiting for something. What? I can't say.

By now I know I can't speak, so I swallow hard, struggling to hold back the thing in my throat threatening to choke me.

My wolf paces in the cage I've trapped her in, enraged, a snarling, furious predator wanting nothing more than to use her claws on Dayne. To make him move.

The extent of her fury stuns me. She always wanted to protect me from Uncle, but the things he did to her were just as bad, if not worse, than what he did to me. If I let her out, I don't even have to guess what will happen what she'll do.

I force her back, and she fights me every step of the way. It feels like it takes minutes, hours, when I know only seconds have passed. Finally, I have enough control over her that I can speak.

Raising my head, I meet Dayne's eyes. "Please excuse me, I'd like to get started on the dinner," I say, my voice soft, passive.

He gazes back at me blankly, and for a second, I catch the brief flicker of some emotion, but I know I can't be right. What have I done to disappoint Dayne?

But before I can think too much about the mystery of Dayne's disappointment, he moves out of my way and I step past him, keeping my gaze fixed on the kitchen door down the hallway.

I feel his gaze boring into my back until I step into the kitchen and leave him and the awkward silence behind, going straight to the refrigerator where I start pulling ingredients out to make a casserole.

The casserole is one I've made before, or rather one Regan made, and although she's usually the one to cook the dinner, this is a meal I've seen her throw together and I know I can replicate it with little effort since it's just chicken, rice and veggies.

Once I hear the conversation pick up, and the sound of the game in the background, I take a quiet breath and return to the refrigerator after depositing the first armful of veggies and meat on the counter.

But I don't grab the rest of the items I need. I use the door as a shield to hide me from anyone who might surprise me, and when I'm sure no one is in danger of following me into the kitchen, I bow my head and let all the tears I've been holding inside fall.

I'm sure no one hears a thing. Over the years, there's one thing I've learned to do better than anyone, and that's crying so quietly that no one can hear.