Finding Closure

Chapter 7

I looked at the window before I continued.

"Three years ago. The traditional ceremony when I turned nineteen." I wrap my arms around myself, suddenly cold despite the morning warmth. "I'd been preparing for months. Meditation, physical training, and studying the shift process. I knew the theory backwards and forwards."

"But theory and practice are different things," Elena says gently.

"I know that,” I blurted out before I continued.

“I stood in the ceremony circle and called for my wolf like I'd been taught. Reached for that place inside where the wolf should be." I close my eyes, remembering. "And there was nothing. Just... emptiness. This vast, cold space where something should exist but doesn't."

"And the subsequent attempts?"

"Same thing. Except—" I hesitate.

"Except what?"

"Except the emptiness felt less empty. The second time, I could swear I felt something in that space. Not a wolf, but... a presence. Something watching and waiting."

I open my eyes to find Elena studying me intently. "The third time, last night, it felt even stronger. Like whatever's in that space is growing and getting stronger."

Elena writes furiously in her journal. "And when Marcus grabbed you—when the transfer happened—what did it feel like?"

"Like that presence surged forward. Like it finally had a target. It reached through me, through my skin where he was touching me, and it pulled. I felt Marcus's wolf—felt it like a living thing, bright and strong—and then I felt it being torn away. Pulled into that empty space inside me."

The memory makes me nauseous. I press a hand to my stomach, trying to keep myself from retching.

"Fascinating," Elena murmurs. Then, seeing my expression, she softens. "I know that sounds callous. But from a medical perspective, this is unlike anything I've encountered. You're not just wolfless, Sera. You're something else entirely."

"I know, I am a monster."

"Well, not exactly; I prefer a mystery." She sits on the edge of the bed beside me, close enough that I could touch her if I wanted. She's deliberately removing the distance, I realize. Trying to make me comfortable and less afraid.

"Monsters destroy mindlessly. You didn't choose this. You didn't ask for this. And you clearly feel terrible about what happened, which hardly makes you monstrous."

"Tell that to Marcus."

"Oh, I intend to." Elena's expression turns thoughtful. "In fact, I'm going to take you to see him."

I jerk back. "What? No. I can't—he'll—"

"He'll what? Attack you? He can't. He's human now, remember? He's weaker than you, even without a wolf." Her tone is practical, not cruel. "Besides, he asked to see you."

That stops me cold. "He... what?"

"Marcus asked to see you. Several times, actually. Kade keeps refusing, thinking it's too dangerous, but I convinced him it might be valuable—for both of you. You need to understand what you did. Marcus needs to understand what happened to him. And maybe, just maybe, seeing each other will provide some answers."

My hands are shaking. "I don't want to hurt him again."

"Then don't touch him." Elena stands, offering me her hand. "Come. I'll be with you the entire time. And there will be guards, if it makes you feel better, but I think this is important."

I stare at her outstretched hand. Slowly, carefully, I take it. Her skin is warm and weathered, but her grip is firm.

Elena leads me to the door, calling out to the guards. "We're going to the physician's hall. Let Alpha Blackthorn know, but don't try to stop us. This is a medical necessity." The guards exchange uncertain looks, but they fall into step behind us

One jogs ahead—probably to warn Kade, to give him a chance to intercept us if he wants. We walk through corridors I didn't see last night. The Shadowcrest pack house is built into the mountain itself, stone and timber blending seamlessly. Windows carved into rock walls let in morning light.

Wolves we pass press themselves against the walls, staring at me with expressions ranging from fear to hatred to morbid curiosity. I keep my eyes forward and my hands to myself.

"Ignore them," Elena says quietly. "They're afraid. Fear makes people stupid."

"They have a right to be afraid. I destroyed their beta's wolf."

"You did, and that's terrible. But making you into a monster in their minds doesn't help anyone—least of all Marcus."

We descend stairs carved into the rock, going deeper into the mountain. The air grows cooler, smelling of stone and herbs and something antiseptic. The physician's hall, when we reach it, is a series of connected rooms with high ceilings and excellent ventilation.

Beds line the walls, most empty. A few wolves occupy them—injuries from training, I assume—but they all fall silent when I enter, tracking my movement with hostile eyes. Elena ignores them, leading me to a private room at the far end. She stops outside a closed door, turning to face me. "Marcus is physically fine," she says. "No injuries, no illness. But losing his wolf... it's traumatic in ways I can't fully describe. He's grieving. He's angry. He's terrified. So whatever he says to you in there, remember that he's in pain."

I nod, my throat is too tight to speak. Elena pushes the door open. The room is small but comfortable—a single bed, a chair, and a window overlooking the forest. Marcus sits on the edge of the bed, staring at his hands like they belong to someone else.

He looks smaller than he did last night. Not physically—he's still a massive man, all muscle and broad shoulders—but diminished somehow.

His eyes are brown. Just brown. Not the usual amber flash of wolf I saw last night.

He looks up when we enter, and the expression on his face makes my chest ache.