Chapter Twenty-two - The Space Between Us

Aria’s POV

By the time the sun disappeared behind the mountains, I felt like I had lived an entire lifetime in one day.

The ceremony had finally ended, but the celebrations had not.

For hours, Ironcrest had been filled with music, laughter, dancing, and the sounds of warriors celebrating their new Alpha and Luna.

People had approached me from every direction.

Some kissed my cheeks, others hugged me, and many bowed before calling me Luna.

I had smiled until my cheeks hurt.

I had thanked everyone, I had danced, I had listened to stories about my father from people I barely remembered and through all of it, Kael had remained beside me.

Sometimes close, and sometimes a few steps away, but always there.

Now, finally, we were sitting in the dining hall.

The long table was filled with food.

Roasted meat, fresh bread, steamed vegetables, potatoes, fruits, and sweet pastries.

There were enough dishes to feed twice the number of people sitting around the table and after spending the entire day barely eating because of nerves, I didn’t waste another second.

I reached for the nearest plate and Kael did the same.

For several minutes, neither of us spoke, we simply ate.

The elders were seated farther down the table, along with Martha and several senior members of the pack.

Everyone looked exhausted, even Kael.

His ceremonial clothes had been replaced with a simple dark shirt, and the usually perfect appearance of his hair had disappeared after hours of celebration.

I probably looked no better. Elder Agatha, however, somehow looked completely composed.

I should have known that it meant trouble.

She put down her fork, then she cleared her throat.

I immediately stopped eating.

Kael glanced at her. “Yes, Elder?”

She folded her hands on the table. “As your elders, there are certain things we must remind you both of now that you are officially Alpha and Luna.”

I lowered my gaze to my plate.

I already knew where this was going and Kael seemed to sense it too.

“Go ahead,” he said.

Agatha nodded. “Your first obligation is to Ironcrest.”

Kael straightened. “I understand.”

“The pack has been through a difficult period. With Alpha Lucien’s death, there was uncertainty. But today, that uncertainty ends.”

Kael nodded. “I give you my word that I will serve Ironcrest faithfully.”

Elder Elijah spoke next. “And we know you will.”

I continued eating. I had no reason to worry about Kael’s commitment to the pack.

If there was one thing I knew about him, it was that he took responsibility seriously and I felt he did that perhaps too seriously.

Agatha continued. “Your second responsibility is maintaining the stability of the royal bloodline.”

My fork stopped halfway to my mouth.

There it was. I slowly lowered it.

Kael’s expression remained unreadable.

Agatha smiled. “You are newly married. The entire pack is already celebrating. Naturally, everyone will be looking forward to the next blessing.”

I stared at my plate.

Elder Agatha chuckled. “Pups.”

Several people around the table smiled. My stomach tightened.

Agatha continued as though discussing the weather. “It is important that you understand that producing an heir is not merely a personal matter.”

Kael placed his fork down. “I understand the importance of an heir.”

“Good.”

Agatha nodded. “The pack has waited long enough.”

I pressed my lips together.

Elder Abel leaned back in his chair.“There is nothing unusual about expecting the newlyweds to begin trying for pups.”

“Of course,” Elder Elijah agreed. “It is proper.”

My appetite vanished and I stared at the food in front of me.

Only hours ago, I had stood beside Kael and promised to stand beside him.

Now everyone was discussing what would happen behind the closed doors of our bedroom.

I wanted to disappear.

Agatha didn’t seem to notice my discomfort. “Tonight is your wedding night.”

My face heated.

Kael glanced at me and our eyes met for a second.

I quickly looked away.

“The sooner you begin,” Agatha continued, “the sooner the pack can have an heir.”

I pushed a piece of potato around my plate. No one seemed to notice that I had stopped eating, everyone except Kael.

He watched me quietly, then he spoke.

“We will do what is required.”

I looked at him. His voice was calm and certain.

My heart sank.

Agatha smiled. “That’s exactly what I wanted to hear.”

The conversation moved on. The elders began discussing tomorrow’s schedule, the pack’s upcoming meetings, trade agreements, training, border patrols, and everything except the subject I desperately wanted to forget.

I barely heard any of it. My thoughts remained fixed on one thing.

Tonight in the bedroom with Kael, trying to make Pups.

I swallowed hard.

I wasn’t ready, I wasn’t even close. The ceremony had already been overwhelming, becoming Luna had been overwhelming, and standing beside Kael and calling him my husband had been overwhelming.

How was I supposed to suddenly become comfortable enough to share something so intimate with him?Especially after everything that had happened between us?

I didn’t hate him, rhat was part of the problem.

If I hated him, this would be easier, but I didn’t.

I was confused by him, by the way he sometimes looked at me, by the way he remembered small things about me, by the way he’d arranged my father’s crest on my ceremonial chair, by the way he had given me the opportunity to stop the wedding, and by the way he’d allow me placed that pillow between us the previous night after I asked for boundaries.

And yet he had also marked me without permission.

I didn’t know which Kael I was supposed to trust, so how could I give him something as important as myself?

I couldn’t, at least not yet.

***********

The dining hall finally emptied.

The last of the servants collected the plates.

Agatha hugged me before leaving.“Rest well, Luna.”

I forced a smile. “You too.”

Her eyes sparkled with amusement.“Enjoy your first night as a married woman.”

My face burned. “Thank you elder.”

She laughed and walked away.

I looked at Kael. He was standing near the doorway waiting.

“Ready?”

I nodded and we walked to our chambers together.

Neither of us spoke, and the hallway felt unusually quiet after the noise of the celebration.

When we reached the room, Kael opened the door and I stepped inside.

The room looked different tonight. Maybe it was because everything felt different.

We were married now, and there was no pretending otherwise.

I walked toward the dressing area. A few minutes later, I changed into a simple nightdress.

When I returned, Kael was already dressed for bed.

He wore a loose shirt and trousers. He glanced at me and then quickly looked away.

“Are you tired?” He asked .

“Very.” I replied.

He nodded. “So am I.”

I stood there for a moment. My heart pounded but I had to say it before it became too late.

“Kael.” I whispered

He turned. “Yes?”

“I need to talk to you.” I swallowed.

His expression immediately became serious.

“About what?”

“Tonight.” I licked my lips.

He seemed to understand. He walked to the bed and sat down, then he leaned against the headboard.

“Talk.” He peered at me.

I stood several feet away. “I don’t want to sleep with you tonight.”

His face revealed nothing so I rushed to explain.

“I’m not saying never.” I forced a smile.

His eyes remained on me.

“I’m just saying…not tonight.” I leaned forward. “I need more time.”

“For what?” His brows creased.

“For all of this.” I gestured vaguely between us. “The marriage. The bond. The fact that we’re suddenly husband and wife. Everyone expects us to have pups immediately, but I’m not ready.”

Kael’s jaw tightened. “It’s our wedding night. We’re married, and the pack expects an heir.”

“I know that too.” I replied nervously.

“Then why are you refusing?” He asked.

His question wasn’t angry and that somehow made it harder.

“Because I’m scared.” The words slipped out before I could stop them.

Kael went quiet.

I looked down. “I don’t know what you expect from me.”

“I expect you to be my wife.” He shifted closer.

“I am your wife. But being your wife doesn’t mean I’m automatically ready for everything else.”

He stopped.

I took a breath. “I need time to know you again.”

His brows drew together. “You knew me for years.”

“That was before.” I mumbled.

“Before what?” He looked at me like I had lost my mind.

“Before I left.” I replied quietly.

I looked at him. “When I came back, you weren’t the same person I remembered, and neither was I. I don’t know what you want from me anymore.”

He looked away. “I want an heir and you’re my wife .”

I nodded. “I know.”

“Which automatically means….”

“Eventually.” I interrupted him. “Not tonight.”

He stared at me. I expected anger, an argument, or maybe another demand.

Instead, he sighed. “How much time?”

I blinked. “What?”

“How much time do you need?” He asked .

“I don’t know.” I whispered.

“Days? Weeks? Months?” He frowned.

I hesitated. “I don’t know, Kael.”

He rubbed a hand over his face. For a moment, he looked more tired than I’d ever seen him.

Then he nodded. “Fine.”

I stared at him. “Fine?”

“You’re not ready.” He looked away.“Then I won’t force you.”

My chest tightened. I hadn’t expected that answer.

“You’re serious?” My eyes widened.

He looked at me. “Yes.”

I relaxed slightly. “Thank you.”

He nodded. Then he moved to his side of the bed and pulled the blankets back.

I remained standing.

Kael glanced at me. “You should sleep.”

I nodded and slowly climbed into bed.

There was a noticeable distance between us. He lay on his side, facing away from me.

Then, without saying anything, he reached for the pillow between us.

He placed it lengthwise down the middle of the bed, creating a barrier and a boundary, exactly like the one I’d asked for the night before.

I stared at it. Something inside me twisted.

“Kael.” I called out softly.

He didn’t turn, but replied. “What?”

“Nothing.” I recoiled back to my space. The tone of his voice meant no talking tonight.

He nodded. “Good night, Aria.”

“Good night.” I whispered and the room went quiet.

I stared at the back of his head.

He wasn’t angry. At least, he didn’t seem angry. But there was something about the way he had turned away that made me feel strangely guilty.

I had been so focused on protecting myself that I hadn’t considered what my rejection might feel like to him.

He had wanted an heir, he had expected tonight to be different, and yet he’d accepted my decision without forcing me, arguing, and without demanding an explanation beyond what I had already given him.

I rolled onto my back.

The ceiling stared down at me as sleep refused to come.

My mind replayed the evening, Agatha’s words, the elders’ expectations, Kael’s promise, my refusal, his silence, and the pillow.

I turned my head but he hadn’t moved.

“Are you awake?” I whispered but heard nothing

I waited for a moment before tapping him lightly.

“Kael?”

Still he said nothing.

I slowly sat up. His breathing was deep and steady which meant he was asleep.

I stared at him. His face looked different when he slept.

Younger, less guarded, and less like the powerful Alpha everyone feared.

For a moment, I remembered him as the boy who had followed me around the training grounds.

The boy who had patiently taught me how to hold a sword, the boy who used to scold me whenever I rushed into battle without thinking, and the

boy who had always been there for me before everything changed.

I lowered my gaze to the pillow.

He had placed it there not because I’d asked him to, even after I had refused him tonight.

My fingers curled into the blanket. Why did that bother me?

I had wanted distance, I had demanded boundaries, and he had respected and given them to me.

So why did seeing him actually respect those boundaries make me feel guilty? I didn’t know.

Maybe because part of me had expected him to fight, or because I had spent so long believing he only wanted control that I didn’t know what to do when he gave it up.

I watched him sleep as his breathing remained steady.

I whispered, “I’m sorry.”

He didn’t hear me. I didn’t even know exactly what I was apologizing for.

For refusing him? For mistrusting him? For accusing him of wanting the throne? Or for leaving?

Perhaps all of it.

I slowly reached toward the pillow. My fingers touched the edge and I hesitated.

I pulled it toward myself and the space between us disappeared.

I placed the pillow near the headboard instead.

Kael didn’t move as I stared at him.

There was still a distance between us but it wasn’t as large anymore.

I lay back down. This time, I faced him.

I didn’t touch him, I didn’t intend to.

I simply watched him sleep. My eyes traced the familiar lines of his face.

The strong jaw, the dark lashes, the slight crease between his brows, even in sleep.

He looked peaceful and almost vulnerable.

I wondered what he was dreaming about. Whether he ever dreamed about the past.

About my father, about me, and about the life we were supposed to have before I ran away.

My throat tightened.

“I don’t know if I can be what everyone expects me to be,” I whispered.

Kael remained asleep.

“But I’m trying.” I whispered.

The words surprised me, but I was trying.

For the first time since returning, I realized that I actually was. I was trying to understand Ironcrest, trying to understand my father’s decisions, trying to understand Kael, and perhaps most importantly….I was trying to understand myself.

I turned onto my side as my eyes began to grow heavy.

Before sleep finally took me, I looked at the empty space where the pillow had been.

For some reason, I was glad I had removed it.

Not because I was ready to cross the boundary, but because I no longer wanted a wall between us tonight.

Maybe tomorrow I would put it back or maybe I wouldn’t.

For now, I simply wanted to sleep beside my husband.

Not as his wife expected to produce an heir or as the Luna everyone wanted me to become, but just as Aria Nightshade.

And for the first time since I returned to Ironcrest, that felt like enough.