Chapter-37 Honest

Gianna 

“What are you doing here?” I demanded, trying to calm myself. Nico was stretched on the bed beside me, still dressed in his work clothes. What time was it even?

“I kind of live here, Gianna,” he said with a shrug.

“That’s not what I mean,” I hissed, glaring at him. How dare he come and sneak into my bed after last night? Did he think I was going to forget everything just like that? Nico sighed, running his fingers through his hair, and thankfully, he kept his hands to himself and actually looked ashamed. Well, as per his capacity.

“I’m sorry about yesterday,” he mumbled. “I’m really sorry.”

“Sorry doesn’t solve every problem, Nico,” I scoffed. “Especially when you over-utilize that word.”

“Gianna, you need to understand…I…” he was at a complete loss for words. “I am messed up and the probability of becoming a father now…I panicked.”

“Clearly,” I grimaced.

“No…you don’t understand,” Nico said, his voice heavy. “Things like this…it throws me into a spiral. A baby—that’s big. And look at me…do I look like I am ready to be a father?”

“No, clearly you aren’t,” I said, throwing him a look. “And neither am I. But that doesn’t mean I would react that way. You left me alone there. I was so scared and panicked, and instead of at least trying to hold me, you ran. You left me alone and ran. And the way you reacted…it made me feel filthy and discarded. Even if I had been pregnant, the baby would have been yours, Nico. Your blood. And you made it sound like…” I was so angry that I didn’t even realize I had started to cry.

“I know I fucked up,” he agreed, his expression somewhere between angry and pained. “I am sorry. I really am, Gianna.”

“Every time there’s conflict, you run, Nico,” I whispered, rubbing my face and wiping away the tears. Frankly, I felt exhausted.

“You just disappear until you feel like you’re ready to come back. But what about me? Do you know how exhausting this is? And humiliating. We are adults for fucks sake, Nicholas. The least we can do is learn how to have a normal conversation.”

“I have never needed to have a conversation before,” he grumbled, even if he looked contrite. “No one has ever triggered me the way you do. No one has ever pushed me to actually sit down and talk, and…and that’s why I don’t know how to handle it. I panic, and I hate conflict, so I’d rather not deal with it at all.”

“You’re a mafia boss—your entire existence is about conflict,” I pointed out.

“Not the kind of conflict you bring out in me,” he said softly, his dark eyes locking on mine. “I can deal with everything but what you…you bring out in me…I don’t know how to deal with it. I don’t know how to handle it…”

I actually didn’t expect him to say that. That was the most honest he has been with me so far, and that kind of made me soften a bit. Especially when he looked so conflicted and lost at the same time.

“You mean the emotions I bring out in you?” I asked softly, scooting closer to him.

“If that’s what they are,” he shrugged. “I wouldn’t know.”

I sighed. Now, how was I supposed to be mad at him when he was being so blatantly honest? My heart went out to him, and I wished I could just heal him with my love. But that scared him. Love scared him, and so do emotions.

“We need to find a way, Nico,” I murmured, taking his hand in mine. “We can’t keep doing this over and over again. And I…I would want a baby someday, and I just…I can’t agree to giving that up. I can’t.”

His expression was almost that of pain. But this was my truth, and I wasn’t willing to negotiate on this one. I wanted a baby. I always have.

“I need time…” he said, his voice cracking. “I am not ready…yet.”

“Neither am I,” I said. “But I need to know we aren’t completely…completely eliminating the possibility.” He ran his fingers through his hair, looking agitated.

“And what if I screwed up?” he asked. “What if I end up being just like Alessandro Baldocchi?”

There was so much fear in his eyes. He was terrified of his past, of becoming his father, of history being repeated. Somewhere inside this hulk of a man, who was perceived as invincible and powerful by most, was a little boy who was still living in the shadows of his dark past. It literally pained me to see him like that, and before I could stop myself, I perched up on his lap, taking his face in my hands. His eyes met mine, and the fear in them told me a story he probably never told anyone. Probably not ever allowed to hear it himself.

“You won’t,” I said softly. “I won’t let you.”

“How are you so sure?” Nico demanded, his eyes searching my face for something.

“Because I know who Nicholas Baldocchi is deep inside,” I murmured, caressing his face. “I trust you, Nico.” He gazed back at me in silence, tracing his thumb over my cheek and then my lips.

“What are you doing to me?” he whispered, brushing his lips against mine. “I’m lost in you…Gianna.” My breath hitched, and my body melted in his arms as he parted my lips and kissed me. It wasn’t the all-consuming, I-want-you-now type, but it did consume me nevertheless.

His lips barely left mine, but the way he kissed me changed—deeper, rougher, as if something inside him had snapped. I barely had time to gasp before he spun me around and lowered me onto the bed, his body following immediately, covering mine like a storm cloud swallowing the sky.

He braced himself above me with one arm, the other dragging slowly up my thigh, beneath the fabric of my dress. I trembled beneath him, my breath short and shallow as his gaze raked over me like a predator zeroing in on prey.

“You smell so fucking good,” he murmured, nose brushing against the side of my neck as he inhaled me, like he was trying to memorize every piece of me with all five senses. “Sweet. Addictive.”

He kissed just under my ear, then lower, his lips skimming across my collarbone. My fingers tangled in his hair, desperate to anchor myself to something solid as heat pulsed through me.

“Nico…” I whispered, my voice barely audible. My hands slipped under his shirt, feeling the hard lines of his back, his muscles tensing under my touch.

His hand slid up my ribcage, not groping, but slow and possessive, like he was claiming territory. His mouth returned to mine—hot, hungry—and this time, he kissed me like he was trying to devour every sound I made.

"You have no idea what you’re doing to me," he muttered, pulling back just enough to look down at me. His eyes were black with desire. "Lying here…under me…breathing like that."

I whimpered, and he smiled slightly. It was dark and dangerous, and it made my entire body thrum with anticipation.

“I could ruin you again,” he whispered, dragging his fingers up the inside of my thigh until I gasped. “Right here. Right now.” He pulled at my earlobe as his hands moved inside my shorts, exploring me, teasing me and making fire ignite between my legs. He sucked at my lips while slowly teasing one long finger inside me.

“Oh my…” I moaned, arching off the bed with pleasure. I could feel my nipples straining under my satin night shirt.

“So deliciously wet…” he hummed, blowing at my nipple over my shirt. “I love it…”

“Are you going to touch me or not?” I panted, giving him an agonized look.

“I am touching you, cara mia,” he sang.

“You know what I mean…”

“No…what do you mean?” Nico demanded, shoving another finger inside me. “Tell me…”

“Nico, please…” I whimpered. “I want you…”

“Want me where?”

“Inside me…” God, why was he making this so hard?

“Hmm…tempting,” he murmured. “But got to take a raincheck on that.” I blinked as he got up and buttoned up his shirt again. I had no idea when I got them undone.

“What?” I exclaimed, sitting up. “You have got to be kidding me, Nico.”

“There is something more important I need to take care of,” Nico said, his face turning hard for some reason. “And I…I need your help, Gianna.” I frowned at him, completely at a loss.

What did he need my help with?

Ten minutes later, both Nico and I stood outside a closed door in the main building. It was at the secluded end of the house, locked up at the end of a closed-off corridor. It was clear no one came here because there was way too much dust, and I could see cobwebs everywhere.

“I can’t believe you did that,” I muttered under my breath.

“That’s your punishment,” he said, tucking his hand in his pockets. I was appalled at how casually he said that.

“Punishment? For what possible reason?” I scowled.

“For driving me insane every day,” Nico gave me a look. “Now…let’s go inside.” I could see that he was tense and kind of stressed, his whole body stiff and jaw hard as steel.

What was inside that had him so wound up?

“Okay, but what is this place? And what’s inside?” I asked, crinkling my nose as the dust made it go all itchy.

“This is my father’s study,” he bit out. “And we’re going to look for some damn answers here.” I blinked at him. That was definitely not what I expected. He wanted to snoop around his father’s study with me? That’s romantic.

“And what do you need my help with?” I frowned. Nico squared his shoulder and took a deep breath.

“I need you to stay by my side,” he said.

“Huh? I don’t understand,” Nico glanced at me, and there were myriad emotions in his eyes, even if they softened as they met mine.

“You’re the only one who keeps me calm…” Nico whispered. “Who keeps the fears away…”

Oh my…

I wasn’t sure how to respond. This was as close to a confession about his feelings for me as I could get. And it both warmed my heart and lit up a flicker of hope in my chest. I smiled at him, tangling my fingers with his.

“Let’s go,” I said.

Nico nodded and, with another deep inhale, he unlocked the door and pushed it open. All we could see was nothing but inky darkness. Nico tensed up, and I squeezed his hand tighter as we stepped inside and he turned on the lights.

Time to search for some answers now.