ASHLEYOblivion.Limbo.Anything. I just wanted to fade away into nothingness, my memory erased from everything and anything. I wanted to melt away and not just exist anymore. I just wanted to be gone. And that was the reason I was struggling to hold onto the darkness, even though I could feel it slipping away from my grasp. I was going to hold onto it for as long as I could because that way, I don't get to wake up and face my new reality. I just want to be stuck here and that was completely fine by me.But then, no matter how hard I tried to hold on to that utter darkness, the harder it got and slipped away from my grasp, breaking my heart and shattering me into a million pieces. The first thing I felt when I started waking up was a dull ache at the side of my neck with no memory whatsoever. It was there but it also felt like it wasn't there. I struggled not to jolt awake but I could only resist for long before my eyes finally snapped open.The beautiful white walls met my vision and
ASHLEYA girl's wedding day is meant to be the happiest day of her life. It's meant to be the day when she feels as though she was floating in the clouds, filled with so much happiness. But here I was, I couldn't even bring myself to smile. I was just dead inside. I was so sure the makeup artist could smell my sadness on me. That was how overwhelming it was. I didn't think I had uttered more than two words to her since she started working her magic on my face."That's enough. I don't want heavy makeup," I spoke up, grouchily. I had snapped at her before I realized what I had done wrong."I'm sorry, Mrs. Gray." She apologized and I scoffed. Mrs. Gray my fucking foot!She wrapped up what she was doing and added finishing touches to my face before adding a setting spray to keep the makeup in place. She knew I just wanted to be alone, so she packed up and walked out of the room to give me the privacy that I needed. I turned to the mirror, sighing at my reflection.It is safe to say I mad
ASHLEYI watched as the girls downed their drinks at a go, getting up from their seats and picking up their purses. My eyes widened in alarm and I stood up also."Wait, you guys are leaving?!" I practically yelled. Their eyes softened and they shot me a sad smile, coming to my side to hold my hands in each of theirs."We can't stay here forever," Ivana said."Yeah, at some point, you are going to have to go inside to meet him. You can't avoid him forever." Dawn spoke quietly and I felt my heart sink to the bottom of my stomach. They were right. I have been sitting out here since the wedding ended and I couldn't bring myself to go inside to face him."But__""Come here," Ivana said softly and I threw myself in her arms, my shoulders quaking with sobs. Dawn joined in the hug, wrapping her arms around my body. The girls and I stayed that way for a while before they finally pulled away."Promise to come visit me always?" I asked them, and they nodded with teary eyes. They kissed my cheeks
ASHLEYEmpty.Yeah, that was the word. The gaping hole that had taken residence in my mind, a hole which I knew that no matter what I tried to dabble in, it wasn't leaving any moment now. I felt hollow, dead inside and it was as though I was fading into nothingness because if anyone had told me months ago, that my life was going to take a drastic turn, I would look the mother-fucker in the eye and spit in their face, telling him or her to go rot in hell.I had my life all planned out. I met a guy I loved. A guy who manipulated me and messed with my mind into thinking what he wanted me to think. Heck, he was so toxic and I couldn't even bring myself to see it. They tried to warn me about him but I was too blinded by what I felt for him, so I allowed him to break me. I was even delusional enough to think that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him.And then that one night, he came into the picture, shattering my resolve and turning my life into a more complicated mess at the sna
ASHLEYThe hallway was eerily quiet and my eyes wandered around for a bit before I took the stairs and descended them slowly. The sight of people scurrying up and down, trying to get one or two things done made me uncomfortable. It didn't sit well with me that I was going to be living in this house with multiple maids at my neck and call. God, I wanted to scream out in frustration that I could take care of my house myself and needed no one to help me with, but the quick rundown of that conversation with Arden in my head didn't seem so good and I knew it wasn't something I could discuss with him.The large living room was almost spotless, and in truth, I knew it was going to take a while before I got used to walking into a place as breathtaking as this living room every day. Everything in here reeked of luxury and it made me a little scared to touch anything because I didn't want to ruin a thing. I just stood by the edge of the staircase like a gaping fish in the water. "Good morning,
ASHLEYI could feel it on my breath. I could feel it on my skin. I could taste it on my lips and it made it so difficult to swallow the saliva that had pooled in my mouth because it felt like a thousand needles were suddenly stuck in my throat and it made it such an impossible thing to gulp. I could see it whenever I shut my eyes and it tugged at the strings that held my sanity in place, wanting to rip it away from me.The horror.The dread.The blood.I could feel everything. It was as though the switch that controlled my emotions flickered to its highest. Heck, it felt like it was completely detached from the wall that housed it, stomped on repeatedly, and broken into pieces, leaving me with no control over how I felt. The air in the room felt hotter and tighter, closing in on me as I struggled to get a hold of my breath that was slowly leaving me. I was sitting on the cold tiled floor in the room, my knees bunched up to my chest. My chest was constricted in pain and my breath came
JAXONMy demons.The ones I thought I had managed to tame by throwing myself into work and dabbling into anything that came in the form of distractions. They were back and if it was barely noticeable before, it tripled in size this time around and messed with what was left of my senses.I wasn't called the devil for no reason. My personality portrayed me that way.And in truth, I loved it. I loved being referred to and seen as the devil. The title came with utter satisfaction that had me convinced that no one could dare cross my path and not have to answer for it. I loved the fear and dread that the mere mention of my name evoked in people. I lived for it because, in a way, it made me feel like I had control over one thing. That my will wasn't completely taken from me and my life wasn't overly under the control of the demons that occupied my head. I could give up everything, but I couldn't give up that control I had over that aspect of my life. It was my drive. It was the only reaso
ASHLEYSatisfaction trickled through my veins as I tucked my lips between my teeth, gazing at the masterpiece that was sleeping beside me. He was shirtless. In the past few weeks that I have been married to him, I have come to notice that he hates wearing a shirt to bed. His flawless ivory skin was out in the open, only for my eyes to see. He didn't have all the muscles in the world, but he was ripped enough to make my mouth water at the sight of his abs.His chest fell and rose with ease, the bags under his eyes seemed to be fading. He had come back home late at night and even though he thought I was deeply asleep, I saw him walk in with a bloodied shirt. He rushed to the bathroom to change because he didn't want me to see him, but I did. And in truth, I didn't know how to feel seeing him with blood on his hands and his chest. So, I just didn't allow myself to feel. I turned my emotions off because if I didn't shut them out, they would overwhelm me. I exhaled, my eyes flitting to hi