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Fear Filled Love
Two feelings come to mind as I see the Doctor gently lay his hand on my mom's shoulder. Strangely the very first to come to mind I love. There has been nothing but love towards my dad for these days with the only effort in bringing him back.
Yet, then there is the place that is created for a great monster that can take a hold of your heart and twist it in directions that the mind will be tormented at. This, my dear friend, is none other than fear.
A good man once said, expose yourself to your deepest fear; after that, fear has no power, the fear shrinks, and vanishes and you are free.
There are two basic motivating forces: fear and love. When we are afraid, we pull back from life. When we are in love, we open to all that life has to offer with passion, excitement, and acceptance. We need to learn to love ourselves first, in all our glory and our imperfections. If we cannot love ourselves, we cannot fully open to our ability to love others or our potential to cre
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The Marine Next Door II The Journey Has Come To An End
Over the past few weeks, I have learned a lot about myself. I thought that being a Marine means that you are the strongest man that there can be. Yet, learning about hope and faith, having the will to see that there is always going to be a tomorrow, is a far greater strength than what a man in uniform can bring.This has by far been the greatest learning experience for me, and even though we might have come through it this far, it does not mean that the battle is not over. I think that only now the true healing will begin. And that I can with almost all certainty say as I am now staring my father in eyes that are very much wide open.And as I am the first to nearly leap in his arms, the flood of emotions, the fear of losing him comes flooding like a raging river from eyes that have grown far puffier than they should be.With only but a gentle squeeze of his hand instead, I softly whisper to him, "It is good you finally joining us. I was really starting to
The Marine Next Door II My "What Is Wrong" Face
One thing that I have learned with Isabella, well, in fact, every woman, is that you need a lot of patience. Now when you ask her what is wrong, she will more than likely tell you nothing. If you are as persistent as me, and you continue to ask her this, she will, by all certainty, lose her temper with you. Then it is a whole new story. For if you ask her why she is upset, she will tell you that she is not.And so it goes, a whole string of questions and statements that will get you into nothing but trouble. So that is where I left it yesterday before she, Galland, and I, finally bid a farewell to my father, who was going to pull through without any hesitation.Sadly, we all had to return to our lives, as we have been away from normality for three weeks. Galland is back waiting for me to get my leg working so that we can go enlist for the Raiders. Matty is still with my mom and dad and will return in a week back to where he needs to be. So all and all, the Jacksons are
The Marine Next Door II Welcomed Distraction
Fate is what takes you down that road you ever so often avoid taking. Take, for instance, just sitting on a rock and minding your own business before a complete stranger appears out of nowhere. At the time, I had no idea that it was where I was supposed to be with whom I am meant to be, doing what I should be doing...falling in love.I wish I could have blamed gravity, but the truth was I fell in love. I fell deeper and deeper until I reached the deepest point. In the middle of all my chaos, there she was. You can call it destiny, or you can call it fate; the point is you will fall in love with the most unexpected person at the most unexpected time.Now that unexpected love has brought us to this point where both our lives, our love, and our future depend on what will happen in the next minute.But I am frightened."Boo, is this what you really want? I thought that you wanted it to be a surprise?"She looks at me from underneath her thick eye
The Marine Next Door II Dear Unborn Child
Frustration is a feeling that one as a Marine experiences on a daily basis, yet you get frustrated because whatever you have planned has not gone the way it is intended. I know that sometimes I can be a bit hard on Isabella with discipline, I would like to say that I am an easy-going, free man, yet I would be lying.Now, much to that very frustration, Isabella has taken that little white envelope, and she has gone to take a nap. Now, can you only imagine the trickles of frustration that are boiling from my ears in utmost torture? I am starting to learn that the woman is doing it on purpose.So, I am being the patient man; well, I am trying to practice patience while she has her nap, and I have taken this time to add one to my collection of many that I have written to our unborn baby so far. I think if Isabella finds the box, she will have a good old laugh.At least I am not calling her a big green truck, but I might have referred to her as 'Old Betty.'Th
The Marine Next Door II Give Me A Reason
They say that happiness often sneaks in through a door you didn't know that you left open.Should this be said about fear?I wish I knew. All that I know is that changes are often very scary, especially if you do not know where you are heading.What else is scary is my wife-to-be, that is standing at the doorway, and she is not looking happy at all. Now I have learned, since these times that I have been home, that an angry pregnant woman is the worst that you can find. And I have just seemed to anger mine. So I am remaining quiet until she speaks first, but god, it is not speaking; it is the building of a great thunderstorm.With the rumble of her chest, there is a launch of words that come directly headed my way, "Clayton, did you open that envelope?""Boo…"Ya, I cannot get in a word as she lashes out again, "I am asking you a question? Did you open that envelope?""Boo…"Once again, I cannot get a word out as h
The Marine Next Door II The White Envelope
…Isabella POV…I have never felt such extreme anger towards a single soul in my life before. To say that my heart is not raging with hatred towards Clayton would be a lie.Did I love this man before?If you ask me now, then I would say no. I feel betrayed, and god knows I feel hurt. The pain that he has inflicted on me is one that you can never forgive. How can he dare open the envelope without me? How can he do this to me? Can I even dare to say do this to us?"What us?There is no such thing.I hate the man.Yet this man thinks that he can underestimate me; it only takes me but a snap of my control and I pull him back, "Oh no, you are not going anywhere. Explain yourself?"Isabella, I am not in the mood for this, you have clearly lost your mind and now I am on your attacking end."Oh no, he just did not call me that, "I have not lost my fucking mouth…""Oh, ya that you have lost as well."
The Marine Next Door II Our Little Bump
Sometimes you say things in the heat of an argument, yet they say that it is when you actually mean something. I have repeatedly told Isabella that I hated her. Hate is such a strong word; I cannot even at this present moment of still being angry tell you if I meant it.Though she has, in turn, said some nasty things that were rather hurtful. Did she mean them? Or is it just those heated words that come from an argument?Whichever way, I don't know how our relationship will be now. Yes, she is standing with that envelop that I so wish to tear up. She has just realized that she lost her temper over complete nothing. Yet, she has not apologized.What have we become?So I only push past her and head to the room, but she calls me back, "I am sorry, Clayton.""Isabella, it is maybe a little bit too late for that."She only but drops her head, and I can hear the tiny sobs coming from underneath strained breaths. Now, do I hold her or just continue
The Marine Next Door II End Of A Rollercoaster Ride
…Isabella POV…Things have not gone back to normal like I hoped they would after our fight over a damn white envelope. Clayton has been sleeping in the guest room, and we are hardly in the same room together for five minutes. He has been spending a lot of time in the nursery, and then on an odd day, he will be out with Galland or checking up on Matty.He tries his very best to avoid me and any questions regarding the outfall. I know he said that we would talk about it, but he has not attempted to try. I guess I will just have to give him the space that he needs. Clayton can be a stubborn man, so I am looking at this being a fight that will still be out in the air for some time.Clayton is taking me to the Doctor today. We are going for my check-up. The time is creeping around the corner now; I only have fifteen weeks to go.Clayton has stopped rubbing my belly; I used to love it so much. To think a stupid envelope has not broken us up as a c
Pinakabagong kabanata
- The Marine Next Door II Epilogue - PART TWO
- The Marine Next Door II Epilogue - PART ONE
- The Marine Next Door II Today I Become Mended
- The Marine Next Door II One Wrong Turn
- The Marine Next Door II People Monsters Are Made Of
- The Marine Next Door II Getting Ready For Drop Down
- The Marine Next Door II Time For Sad Goodbyes
- The Marine Next Door II This Will Be The Last Time
- The Marine Next Door II Breaking Down Walls
