Chapter 2

My mind went blank.

I was terrified. I had no idea what to do.

I struggled to pull the thick, flower-patterned quilt over Grandma's shoulders, hoping to keep her warm.

I hurried to turn on the lights, get the fireplace going, and put some water on to boil.

The firelight fell across Grandma's face, but her skin was still ice-cold.

I unwrapped a piece of candy and was about to offer it to Grandma when my hand trembled, sending it tumbling to the floor.

I quickly picked it up, blew off the dust, and held it out to her again. "Grandma, these are butterscotch candies! They're really good. Here, try one!"

But Grandma didn't respond. Her body was growing stiffer by the minute.

I didn't want to waste the candy, so I popped it into my mouth and bit down hard, tears filling my eyes. "Grandma, smell it. Doesn't it smell good? And it's so easy to chew!"

I found Grandma's old cell phone and tried calling Dad, but he didn't answer.

The automated voice repeated over and over, "We're sorry. The person you're trying to reach is unavailable…"

Then I remembered what Dad had told me. "That's my girl! We can always count on you. Take good care of Grandma."

But now…

Grandma was gone.

Was it my fault?

Had I not been dependable enough?

Had I failed to take proper care of her?

Mom and Dad had trusted me with something so important, and I'd let them down.

They'd blame me when they found out.

They wouldn't yell at me or hit me. They'd just give me that cold look, as if I were a stranger.

I curled up at the foot of the bed, too afraid to leave the room or even close my eyes.

When I was born, Mom went back to the countryside to have me. She left when I was barely a month old, and Grandma raised me.

Dad didn't bring me to the city until I was six years old.

The first time Mom saw me, she frowned. "Why are you so tan? And look at your dirty hands."

I stared down at my hands. I'd washed them with soap three times!

Grandma always told me that if I behaved and never caused trouble, Mom and Dad would love me someday. So, I took on all the housework and did my best not to upset anyone.

Whenever Dad came home, I brought him his slippers. Whenever Mom sat down, I massaged her shoulders.

I only took things Jessica no longer wanted. Even when Tommy tore up my homework, I didn't dare complain.

Little by little, I earned their praise.

"You're such a good girl."

"You never ask for anything."

“You've always been such an easy kid."

I wasn't as smart as Jessica or as cute as Tommy.

But whenever something needed doing, Mom and Dad turned to me. I was the one they could count on to do the work.

But this time, I'd failed them.

I glanced at Grandma's bluish face, then at the pitch-black sky outside. Quietly, I climbed out of bed.

I grabbed a broom and cleaned the whole house from top to bottom. Then I worked up the courage to take out the trash.

That way, Mom and Dad wouldn't come home and call me a slob.

I remembered how Mom used to complain that I looked dirty when I first came to live with them.

But I'd always been the cleanest kid in our little town.

I opened my schoolbag, took out my notebook, and carefully tore out a sheet of paper. Then I neatly wrote across the top—My Last Words.

Before Mom and Dad came home, I wanted to be a good girl one last time.

That way, I'd always be… their good, easygoing daughter they were so proud of…

I opened the cupboard and took out the bottle of pesticide hidden at the back.

I'd made up my mind.

I unscrewed the cap and drank it all.

Outside, festive lights sparkled across the waterfront. Everyone was celebrating Christmas.

But little by little, the sounds began to fade.

Soon, I felt myself rising.

Looking down, I saw my own body curled up at the foot of Grandma's bed, like a kitten fast asleep.

So, this was death. It happened so quickly.

Buddy came back and circled Grandma and me, whimpering as if he couldn't bear to leave us.

You silly dog, where have you been all this time?

I drifted out the window and spotted the first star in the night sky. Without thinking, I floated toward it.

That was when I saw a brightly lit cruise ship.

Dad had his arm around Jessica's shoulders. "You did great on your exams! I'll get you a new phone as a reward."

Mom gently wiped cream from Tommy's mouth. "Slow down, honey. No one's going to take it from you."

Tommy bounced excitedly. "I wanna go on another cruise next year!"

Jessica grinned and held up her phone. "Guess what? I've named my vlog Our Happy Family!"

Then they raised their champagne glasses and toasted. "Merry Christmas! Here's to our happy family!"

Fireworks lit up the night sky over the ocean, lighting up everyone's smiling faces.

They counted down to midnight together. As they welcomed Christmas Day, my body grew colder and colder…