The rain taps a relentless rhythm on the room windows, a dull, drumming accompaniment to the turmoil in my head. I’m curled by the fire, its warmth doing little to thaw the cold knot in my stomach. I'm Nox’s room in the pack house, and honestly, it's as good as a prison cell. They're holding me here until my hearing with the council, a convenient place for Selene and Zara to finish me off, I'm sure. At least Nox was able to convince them to let him stay with me, his presence a shaky shield against the fear gnawing at me.He’s across the room, going through his things. A duffel bag lies open on the floor, and he’s pulling clothes from his closet, folding them neatly. I know he plans to take them back to my cabin when this is all over, a silent promise of a future I’m terrified to believe in. He also pulls out a stack of old, leather-bound journals—his grandfather’s and father’s, I believe. Journals that, I recall him mentioning, have no mention of the omega curse his mother had
I shouldn't have done it. God, I wanted to—every part of me was aching for him, for that closeness, that heat—but now that the sun's gone down and reality isn't wrapped in his arms anymore, all I feel is this dull, gnawing guilt in my chest. My body still smells like him, even after a hot bath. I sink deeper into my bed, glaring at my closed room door, as I hear his footsteps on the other side.I remember the way he smiled before I left his room. I know he didn't regret a single second of it. That quiet, contented smile. It just made my own regret twist tighter. I tug my covers tighter around me, like that might squeeze the regret out of my bones, like it might rewind the day to just before I let myself get carried away.Because that’s what happened. I got carried away.I love him. That’s not the problem. I know it deep in my marrow, like a truth I didn’t choose but can’t un-know. But love isn’t enough—not after everything. Not after the way he used to look at me like I was a threa
My arms feel like they're about to pull out from their sockets as I haul my grocery bags out of the backseat of my car and begin the long walk up to my cabin. Nox almost pulled his hair out, begging to let him tag along with me, but I refused for very valid reasons, even though I knew it would be a hassle getting my shopping up the mountain.One, it's only been a little over a month since the incident with Zara, and I'm not taking any chances with that wound opening up. The lead hasn't let it heal yet, so while he might be back to full functioning, that wound… it's still a raw, ugly red scar against his skin.Two, it's still been a month since the incident with Zara, and I haven't seen or heard of her since. The pack has been going through a silent fallout, because as I heard, the council is the one currently ruling. No one has seen Zara or Selene. That sets me on edge. Just what are they planning? The silence from them is more unnerving than any open threat.Three, I needed a few
"He's going to open his eyes this time, watch," Kira whispers, her voice a hopeful murmur in my head. I crane my neck, my gaze fixed on Nox, willing his eyelids to flutter open. It's this agonizing game we've been playing for five days now, guessing the exact moment he'd finally stir. Five days of holding my breath, five days of constant, quiet terror.The last time I saw his eyes open was that night, bathed in the cruel moonlight, when he'd told me he loved me. His sacrifice, his quiet act of throwing himself in front of Zara's poisoned blade, had been worth it, he’d said. I hadn't been able to say anything back. My tongue felt thick, useless, choked by tears and fear. If he dies now, he'd die believing that I was never able to forgive him for what he did to me. That I was never able to love him.I have forgiven him. And I love him. I should have said it that night, before I ran, barefoot and screaming, over to Silas's cabin. But I was too… too overwhelmed, too panicked, too i
It was a mistake. Offering Nox a spare room in my cabin was a fucking mistake!My body is a fucking Judas that's ready to betray me any second now. His scent is everywhere, a warm, citrusy haze that clings to every fabric, every breath I take. Even when I bury my face in my closet, desperate for the familiar scent of strawberries, I still smell that damn citrus! It's intoxicating, insidious, and it's driving me insane.Another thing that makes me near lose my mind around him is the fact that he's so tender with and around me. There’s no way anyone wouldn't fall for that. His movements are gentle, his gaze soft. His voice isn't all that strong, just a gentle hum when it's just us, a low rumble at night, like he doesn't want to disrupt the silence outside. How can I keep living like this? My carefully constructed walls are crumbling, piece by agonizing piece.I need fresh air, and now.I stand up abruptly from my bed, the springs groaning in protest, and walk out into the living are
There are things no one would ever tell you. For example, how it feels like to stare at the love of your life from across the room as she takes in the dinner you spent three and a half hours preparing. Beautiful. It feels absolutely beautiful.I could tell from the way her eyes lit up that she wasn't expecting anything of this sort. I can also tell from the way her heart rate picked up pace; her wolf is beyond pleased. Cyan is practically preening in my head, a smug, satisfied rumble. "See, I told you. She loves it.""Are you trying to earn your keep?" she asks, walking further into the kitchen. She's trying so desperately hard to hide her smile, but failing miserably. The corners of her lips are twitching, fighting to stay neutral, but there's a definite upward curve. I don't think she knows her smile broke through, but either way, I'm way over the moon to see her pleased with me. My chest expands, a warmth spreading through me that has nothing to do with the heat of the stove.