The Pull of the Moon

The nightmare hunts me again.

The forest floor is covered with chilling snow. The kind that seeps into your bones. I exhale and my breathe turns white in the air, matching the frost creeping over the trees. The strong smell of blood is pungent.

Footsteps sound behind me and I whirl around. My brother stands beside the Alpha. The alpha lips are pulled back in a snarl, he can act as aggressive as he wants but he can't mask the fear of me in his eyes. It's my brother's expression that tears at me. It's not sorrow, neither is it fear. It's coldness, it chills me more than the snow underneath my feet.

“You were never one of us,” he says, voice steady. “You're dangerous. You will destroy all of us.”

My Alpha doesn't speak. He doesn't have to, not when my brother has already passed judgement.

They lunge together. It's all too much, my Alpha and my brother trying to cage me. To break me. My wolf snarls inside me, refusing to yield. So I fight, I bleed and I come out of it alive.

So does my Alpha.

I wake up with a sharp inhale. My heart pounds so hard against my ribcage that it hurts. Light from outside filters in through the window. I push my blanket aside and stand.

The kitchen smells of bread and herbs when I arrive, but it feels like the walls are closing in. Mira is already there, sleeves rolled, kneading dough with the same measured precision she does everything.

“You're early,” she says without looking at me.

“Couldn’t sleep,” my voice sounds flat even to my own ears.

We walked side by side in silence. Normally, the chatter of other Omegas will fill the kitchen, but today is quiet. Soon other omegas start coming into the kitchen, carrying ingredient and foodstuff that are more than the usual.

I pause in confusion just as one of the younger omegas who's passing by us leans in and whispers into Mira's ears, “Eastern envoys are here. They arrived at dawn.”

The bowl in my hands suddenly feels too heavy. Eastern envoys, my old region and my everyday nightmare.

I'm on my way to deliver food to the main house when I see Beta Dorian talking to a group of people further away from the main house. This must be the eastern envoys but I can’t seem to recognize them. They must be new. The smell of different spices assaults my nostrils. The smell of what used to be home.

One of them says to Alpha Dorian, his voice carrying over to where I'm standing.

“I heard she was called the Moonsbane.”

The name slams into me like a blow. I nearly falter, the huge tray of food wobbles in my hands.

Dorian's expression doesn't change, but his eyes flicks briefly towards me before returning to the envoy. “Stories grow in the telling,” he says evenly. “We deal with truths here.”

The envoy chuckles low. “Truth or not, if she's still alive, she's dangerous.”

I keep on moving, but I don't get far before Dorian calls out, “Selene! Wait”

I stop, turning slowly. He closes the distance between us in quick strides.

“Yes, Beta?” I answered when he stops before me.

He studies me for a long unreadable moment. “You look pale.”

“Must be the cold.”

“Mm,” his tone is mild, but his gaze is to sharp. “Cold doesn't make people flinch at harmless stories.”

“They weren't about me,” I say too quickly, then mentally facepalm.

His lips curves, but it isn’t a smile. “So you heard us? You have sharp hearing for a wolf less omega.”

 Shit

I keep my face neutral and say nothing.

He looks me over. “The alpha wants to see you at the training ground. You can deliver the food first.”

Then he takes his leave.

I find Caden not long after, leaning against a tree. His arms are crossed as he watches the warriors train.

I come into his presence and bow my head.

“You're avoiding training,” he says.

“I have work in the kitchen,” I answer, keeping my tone even.

“That's not an answer,” His tone is low, almost amused. “Even Omegas can learn to fight.”

Which I noticed a few days after I arrived. They have their own training grounds deeper in the woods. Every three days, in the evening, they head there to train. Mira keeps pushing me to go but I’m afraid I might reveal something.

I look up at him. “Some of us already know how.”

That earns me the faintest tilt of his head. “Interesting claim. Maybe you will prove it one day.”

“Or maybe you will stop testing me,” I say before I can swallow the words.

Caden's eyes narrow a fraction, not from anger but interest. “And miss the fun? Not a chance.”

His attention is back on the training ground. “You won't be allowed to dodge training for much longer. You are dismissed.”

I open my mouth to say something but I change my mind and leave.

That night, I walk deep into the woods, far from the servant quarters. Far from watching eyes.

The moon slices through the trees like a blade. I drop to my knees, close my eyes and let go, just for a second and she bursts free. 

My wolf.

She's silver smoke and fury. She howls in my bones. She stretches my skin and howls at the moon like she never left.

I shift halfway, just enough to feel the strength ripple through my limbs and the freedom in my blood then I pull her back.

But she already felt what freedom feels like again and she's not going back to sleep.