I've been in hospital for over a week now, he hasn't called.
I know it's because he's still mad at me.
I'm partly ok with that because I don't want him to know what's happened. I don't want him to know I almost...
I just want him to be ok.
And ok he seems to be because every time I switch on the Tv I see him, he's also all over the internet. He's appearing in music videos too and every other day he's on a different Tv channel getting interviewed. I never thought it was possible but he's somehow getting more and more famous every day.
It's so odd to see also, because he's never really wanted this kind of life. He was never into the fame that came with his profession. All he wanted was to play football, everything else he didn't care much about. But he looks happy every time I see him on tv and I guess that makes me happy too. I'm gl
I haven't really grasped the repercussions of my actions if I'm being honest. I did something only putting my own feelings in mind, not at all thinking about the people around me. I don't want to even imagine what they would've gone through had I been successful in my attempt.Dad doesn't talk much, he comes to the ward a few times a week to bring me stuff. I hate hospital food so he always makes sure to bring me my favorite meals as I still lay in the hospital.He kisses me on the forehead and tells me he loves me always. This was never something he did before. Dad is not a very affectionate person so I'd rarely heard him uttering those words to me growing up. But never did I ever doubt he'd felt them for me.Hearing him all of sudden saying the three-worded sentence kind of breaks my heart a little. Because it means he thinks I'd never known it or believed it.&nb
I don't know how much longer I'm going to be here. Mary has been here for over three months and I hope that's not the case with me because schools are reopening soon.I'm not too excited about that but I need to complete my degree in social sciences nonetheless.I'd always hated seeing Ezra go through the things that he did growing up. I wanted to do something, to make his life a little less crappy. Although I did get dad to help out where he could, it still wasn't enough. They used to come and have dinners at my house whenever they didn't have at home, we used to welcome them. But I knew food was only a small part of their many problems. I knew they struggled with keeping the lights on at home, and that Ezra ended up not doing his home works and not studying for tests as a result.His tragic upbringing was a big part of my wanting to study what I'm studying. I have no clu
"Surprise!!!"They all shout in unison as I duck in terror. Are they trying to give me a heart attack?I absolutely hate surprises and I'd been sure to remind Mary this multiple times but clearly I wasn't clear enough. A part of me knew they were going to do this but that doesn't take my shock away. It also doesn't surprise me that Mary went on and did this anyway despite my not wanting her to. She's the same person who promised to not make a big deal of my leaving but went on to buy me a bunch of gifts and gave me a farewell speech this morning.I'd learned that her husband at least had the courtesy of leaving her with a lot of money, despite her not wanting to return to her old life. She says that there's no life for her out there without her husband, that was one of the saddest things I'd ever heard. And it's admittedly been a part of the reason behind my choice to let Ezra go. I certainly don't want to end up t
"Ezra Michael's mystery woman..."*Changes channel*"He was caught kissing someone at a hosp..."*Changes channel*"Nobody knows who she is but that didn't stop him from..."*Changes channel*"On today's news of the rich and famous. Ezra Michaels..."I decide to switch off the TV. I can't seem to catch a break. It's been a week now, how is this still 'news'? Just the other day dad had to get paparazzi off our lawn by hose piping them. They follow me to school and back, they just won't leave me alone. Neither will Ezra.I coincidentally hang up another call from him as his name crosses my mind.It's not fair that he's doing this to me and I wasn't shy to tell him that. Furthermore, he's not making any effort to kill off the speculations despite my asking him to. He's instead fueling the
"Babe! Don't forget dad's Tupperware!" I shout from upstairs after deciding I don't wish to be murdered by my father."I heard you the first 20 times." My idiot boyfriend shouts back at me sarcastically making me roll my eyes."Thanks babe!" I shout again deciding not to entertain his attitude. Today is an important day and I can't have him ruining it for me.I look at my reflection in the mirror a little longer than usual then take a long, deep breath. I've done this quite a few times but it never gets any easier. I do my final check-ups then take my purse to go downstairs so we can leave, dad is probably waiting impatiently."How are you feeling?" My boyfriend asks as we drive silently to my dad's house with the radio softly playing in the background. It's a thing we like to do, one might call it a minor bonding session.I feel... anxious."Excited," I answer him honestly. I'm feeling a lot of things but excitement is definitely on the surface. It's the primary feeling.It's weird b
The wind blows softly against my skin as I take another long breath with my eyes closed this time. Orange leaves scatter the ground and they seem to also be affected by the autumn breeze. I look around the place that used to bring me so much calm and serenity with deep sorrow. "Why here?" I ignore the slight break in my voice. The last thing I want is for him to think he has any effect on me. "I thought being here would make this conversation a lot easier." If there was ever the hardest place to have this conversation, it's here. "It makes no difference to me." I lie. It makes all the difference. I'm battling with keeping it together, this place holds so many memories and I feel suffocated by them. "How are you doing Alex?" He asks seemingly curious. His eyes hold a depth in them I haven't seen in a while. I know he's asking because of what his fans have put me through. It's been a lot. I have no privacy, I've had to delete all my social media because of the constant bullying on
"How long were you two deciding on hiding this from me?"For as long as we could."We were just waiting for the right time dad." I lie. Telling him was never on my agenda in the near future or at all. I'd hoped we'd go years and maybe even get married without him knowing.But his reaction to all this makes me feel stupid for hiding my relationship with Cody in the first place."I mean I kinda knew.""What?" Cody and I say in unison.We're visiting dad because he wanted to see me before my big graduation in a few days. This is also the first time we're talking about the events of the past few days at the graveyard, likely because we're all only now in a good mood - in a better mood. I'd been upset the past couple of days because I'd been really excited to finally celebrate my mother in the right kind of mood, the mood I hadn't been able to celebrate her in for too long.I'd been a bit hard on myself for the fact that I let the mess with Ezra and his fans keep me from being with my mo
I haven't been in a place filled with so many people in a while. I look around me to see too many familiar faces - some of which I used to be close with and some I used to just see around. All of which I haven't seen in a while.I let my eyes wander around the gigantic hall before they stop a little longer on a figure I could spot with my eyes closed. I feel my heart melt at the sight. She has her back turned to me and she seems to be having an interesting and genuine conversation with the person in front of her. I feel my cheeks forming a smile.I didn't know how much I'd missed her until now. It's been so long that I've learned to somehow live without her. She's looking really great, like herself again. For a while she'd stopped being the bubbly person everyone knew and loved, and well - I knew why.Liz went from being one of the most known and liked figures in our district to someone you'd be lucky to see at a grocery store.I know she took what happened very heavily but I was to