Chapter 4: The Burning Bed

Ezra

It’s all I can do to not lose my fucking shit and tear this fucking packhouse down to the ground. I want to burn it all. I want to see this awful place destroyed.

Through our bond, I could see everything that Margot suffered. I needed to be inside the space he kept her, needed to feel just how tight those confines were so I could better understand her fear of enclosed spaces.

And now I do and all I want is to have Joshua alive again so I can kill him slowly and painfully for what he did to my mate.

I don’t want to leave her alone, especially not in that room of horrors, so I toss the mattress over the banister and let it drop three stories while I go back into the bedroom and grab the box spring. I do the same with it, grabbing the bedding on the way and tossing all of it over the banister before coming back to pull Margot in my arms.

She hasn’t moved a muscle, as if she’s unable make her body leave this place where she suffered so much.

“Is there anything else we need to see on this floor?” I ask, wrapping my arms more tightly around her when she leans into me. Her body is shivering and I know it's from fear, more than cold.

“We should check the other rooms, just to be thorough,” she says against my chest.

“Do you want to stay here, or do you want to come with me?” I ask her, giving her a choice since she obviously never had one in this environment before.

“I want to stay with you,” she says.

“Okay.” 

I tuck her under my arm, keeping my arm wrapped tightly around her as we walk down the hall. As quickly as I can, I check the other rooms, making sure no critters and no squatters have taken over while the packhouse was vacant. 

When we’ve cleared the floor, I close the door to Alpha’s bedroom as we pass, and we make our way back downstairs.

“Do you want to sleep inside tonight?” I ask her.

“No! No, please. I can’t sleep here.”

“Hey,” I say, taking her face in my hands. “That’s why I asked. It’s your choice. If you want to sleep outside, we will. If you want to sleep in the car, we will. You have control, Margot. You get to decide. Whatever you want, that’s what we’ll do. Okay?”

Her eyes are haunted and I fucking hate it. It’s the look that Diana had at the end. Back then, I didn’t recognize it for what it was. I didn’t realize it was a disconnect, a separation from whatever it is that keeps us moving forward in this life.

“Margot?” I growl, shaking her a bit.

Finally, she nods. “Okay. I’m in charge. I want to sleep outside. I’m cold, Ezra.”

“Then let's get that fucking bed burning and we’ll have one hell of a bonfire to warm you up, my mate,” I say.

She nods.

“Is there anything else we need to burn, Margot? Anything else that holds horrible memories for you here?”

She turns and looks around. “No. It was all in that room.”

“Okay. Why don’t you go to the car and get the food we brought for tonight. I threw some sleeping bags in the back as well, just in case. I’ll get the fire going while you do that, okay?” I ask her.

She nods. I’m not sure she realizes that she’s clinging to my shirt, holding on to me as if she’s afraid to let go. When she doesn’t move away, I continue to hold her, letting her take whatever time she needs to get control of her emotions and feel strong again.

Finally, I feel her body begin to relax and she releases her grip on my shirt.

I lean down and gently press my lips to hers.

“I love you. I’m here for you. You’re not alone. You’re not weak. You’re in charge. You’re in control here, Margot,” I say, making sure to keep eye contact with her so I know she hears me.

She nods and, this time, she steps away. “I’ll go get the food.”

I watch her as she walks out of the packhouse. She’s a bit unsteady on her feet, but as she steps outside, she pushes her shoulders back, forcing herself to regain her composure as she pulls on the inner strength she still can’t acknowledge that she has.

As soon as she’s outside, I grab the bedding and begin dragging it outside. I already planned to burn the bed. I’d seen what Joshua had done to her through her nightmares, so I knew I wasn’t going to leave any semblance of the place where he raped my mate. But the room was different. In her nightmares, there’s only darkness. I couldn’t see the room, or the space. That’s because there was no space and no windows, only the darkness that terrifies her.

I keep my senses tuned to her while I stack the bedding and the mattresses along with some dry wood that I collect around the packhouse. There’s plenty of it. The place hasn’t been maintained in a very long time. Whoever wins this pack will have their work cut out for them. But honestly, the ones who win don’t care. I know when Jake, my previous Beta, won his pack, he told me it was worth every bit of manual labor he and Letti put into it to make it theirs. According to him, it actually made it feel more like his own pack and the pack members felt the same. So maybe it’s a good thing that these packs need so much work. It gives a new pack a sense of camaraderie and belonging to make their home their own.

When I get back with the wood, Margot is laying out the food for us. She’s already pulled out the sleeping bags, and I see that she’s also pulled out the lighter fluid I brought, in case we needed it to light the fire. However, I don’t think we’re going to need it. Cloth burns pretty easily.

“Margot,” I call quietly. The sun has set and the night is just starting to settle in. Staring the fire now will give us some light for the rest of the evening.

When she looks up at me, I beckon her over. “Why don’t you do the honors. It should be you burning away the memories of your past.”

I hand her the matches and step back, giving her space to decide what she wants to do.

She looks around and picks up a small stick, one that is dry and will make a great starter for the fire. She lights it, watching it burn, then steps up to the wood and bedding that I have stacked up. 

She squats down, putting the lit wood underneath the box spring. It lights quickly and she moves the lighter to the bedding which also begins burning pretty quickly. When she gets the mattress burning as well, the fire already starting to blaze brightly, she steps back, looking at her handiwork.

“Fuck you, Joshua!” she growls.

I move behind her, wrapping an arm around her waist. She leans against me and together we watch the remnants of her past go up in flames.