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31. ANTI is for real

LUCAS

George had gotten frustrated . . . I couldn't blame him, it wasn't undue. We should have met Declan, the Principal—and also my biological father who didn't know I existed—for help but I had kept pushing it away.

It was more than just being scared. I just didn't want him in my life, he didn't and could never have a space in my life and that was nothing but pure facts. . .to me, at least.

I know that the last time we spoke, I acted like I was ready. Well, guess what? I am not. I never will be.

I had grown without a father for all of my life. It wasn't easy, hell, it was horrible. Especially since I knew my Mum was lying to me about many things. I couldn't count how many nights I had wished he would come. I had created a fantasy where he was somewhere on some special classified mission doing stuff only he could . . . like saving the world.

As I grew, those fantasies, no matter how strong they had been to me, couldn't hold anymore. They weren't strong enough to sooth my crying he
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