Chapter 3

The light in the bathroom was so bright that it was blinding to the eyes.

I planted my hands on the basin and stared at my reflection in the mirror.

My lips had turned completely purple, and my face was so pale that I looked like I was already dead. My lungs burned, and every time I breathed, I needed to use all of my strength to do so.

I turned on the tap and tried to use the cold water to wash away the bitterness in my mouth.

At the corner of the cabinet under the basin was the half-empty bottle of paraquat.

I stared at it and grimaced.

From the living room, I could hear the sound of a cake being cut.

It was Thanksgiving, and it was also my mother’s birthday.

In order to book that Airbnb and make them happy, I had reserved the place half a month ago and spent all of my savings.

“Happy Birthday to you…”

The cheerful song seeped through the thin door.

“Make a wish, Mom!” Olivia said sweetly.

“I hope that you can be a huge influencer and that Seth can get married soon!” My mother’s voice was booming.

I was not in her wish.

It was not as if I was ever present in her wish.

I shuffled back into the living room.

There was a beautiful butter cake on the table.

Clark cut the biggest slice and gave it to Olivia. “Olivia, this one has the most strawberries. It’s for you.”

He then turned to me and froze for a bit before casually pointing at the cake at the corner of the table. “Yours is over there.”

I stood still and stared at the engagement ring on his ring finger.

“Clark,” I whispered as lightly as a wind that was about to disappear. “When you were chased down by your creditors, I was the one who shielded you. That machete almost destroyed the tendon in my hand. Why do you think I’d survive in another country?”

Clark stopped cutting the cake, and the atmosphere at the dining table froze over.

My mother slammed the plastic knife used to cut the cake. “Ninian, you just want to ruin the mood, don’t you? I already told you, it’s an act! An ACT! Do you even understand English?

“Why do you have to bring up the past when everyone is happy?”

Seth got worked up too. “Clark only did it to make it believable. Why are you so stubborn?!”

Clark slammed his plate on the table with frustration in his eyes. “If that’s what you think, I can’t do anything about it. If you insist on painting yourself as the victim, do as you like. I won’t get married to you anymore, happy?”

It was what he always did. Whenever we argued, he would threaten to break our engagement, and I would concede.

I grew up with too little love and was terrified of being abandoned. For once, I just found the whole thing ridiculous.

With great difficulty, I removed my ring from my ring finger and put it on the table.

“Okay.”

Clark was stunned. In his disbelief, he stared at the ring on the table. “Are you serious, Ninian? Who else but me can tolerate your boring and dull personality?”

I had no strength to retort any longer. The oxygen in my lungs was getting thinner.

I felt like I was a fish tossed on land. I could open my mouth to gasp for air all I liked, but I could not suck in any air.

Without sparing them another glance, I went to the guest bedroom. “I’m tired. I want to rest.”

My mother started yelling at me. “If you dare go into the bedroom today, you’re no longer my daughter! I don’t have such an ungrateful daughter as you are!”

With her phone in hand, Olivia trained the camera on my back. “Guys, my sister is so mad! She’s throwing a tantrum now. Should we break down her door?”

I did not turn around. Every step I took made the tugging sensation in my organs grow stronger.

Finally, I made it into the guest bedroom. I locked the door, and all the noise as well as ill-will was blocked outside.