Chapter 20

LOUIS

That night, after Elias had dismissed me, I couldn't help but wonder if it was all coming apart. The villa was too quiet, too far from the mess that was my life, and my mind kept spinning in circles, trying to wrap around the fact thar I was in Italy.

Maybe that was the reason for my sudden boldness.

Whenever I thought of Elias, my heart leapt in a way that was too much for me to handle. Not the physical attraction anymore. It was the pull. And I’m getting tired of ignoring it. I know there’s a possibility that he might not even be gay but… I see something there. Something hidden in those deep chocolate browns that I feel an unusual need to cover.

And by God, I want to uncover those secrets.

The following day, we went over the final details of our meeting. Elias was aloof, as he always was, his mood chilly and ungiving. We spent the day dealing with logistics, and when the sun began to drop low over the horizon, I was alone again with him on the balcony overlooking the hills.

A position we seem to always be caught in lately.

I had not expected to be alone, and I certainly hadn't expected Elias to be standing there, putting his hands in his pockets, looking like he wanted to burst. But with what?

"I didn't think you'd come here again," I said, my own voice softer than I intended. I didn't know what else to say. The atmosphere around us felt breakable, like one word would shatter whatever fragile yet momentary peace we have between us.

He didn’t look at me. His back faced me as he stood gazing out over the fading lights. "Where else would I be?"

I stepped out onto the balcony, the cool night air chilling my skin.

I should have brought the blanket, I thought as I rubbed my arms to ward off the chill.

I hesitated for a moment, then took a deep breath. "Elias, what did happen last night…"

His posture stiffened slightly, but he didn't turn around. "We're not having this conversation again, Louis."

My heart leapt. "I don't know what this is, but I can't just discard what I feel for you. It's… it's not something I think can do."

Elias finally turned, his eyes meeting mine. His were dark, but I could see the storm raging inside them. He was struggling—just like I was. I could feel the weight of all that was unsaid between us.

“You'll have to forget this," he said to me, his tone low and authoritative. "This—us—it can't be. Won't be."

I edged closer, unable to stop myself. "Why not?"

"Because I'm not the sort of man you believe me to be," Elias said, backing up a step, as if trying to escape me, escape whatever this was between us. "I lack the emotional capacity for something like that. For you. You’ve known too much pain to be with me."

I felt a sting in my chest at that subtle but true jab.

“You're wrong," I said to him, my breath hitching. "I see right through you. I think you’re trying to run from something."

There was a thick, long silence as Elias just stared at me, and then he did something I wasn't expecting—he stepped closer, closing the distance between us. His presence was overwhelming, more so than usual. Something was about to happen.

My heart raced in my chest, and before I could process what was happening, Elias leaned in closer, sweeping a piece of hair from my forehead. His touch remained on my skin for a half second too long. I was trapped in his mesmerizing gaze, just standing there, staring into his eyes like a lost fool.

My God, I was so far gone for this man.

His breath was hot against my skin.

"You need to go back to your room," Elias commanded, his tone barely above a whisper.

But I couldn't move. I just wouldn’t.

"I can’t," I said, my voice barely audible.

And before I even realized it, my hands were on his chest. I wasn't thinking anymore. I’ve long given up on making use of my brain. When next would I ever have an opportunity like this? When next would I ever be this close to him?

Never.

At that moment, the world had narrowed down to just the two of us, to the attraction that had been building ever since I had first seen him. His chest was hard beneath my hands, but he didn't flinch. Didn't push me away.

For a second, a minute, I expected him to kiss me. His eyes flitted down to my lips, then back to mine, and I felt it—the heat of the moment, the inevitability. I edged closer, catching my breath when I understood that I did want it. I wanted him. I wanted this, whatever it was.

Then suddenly, I felt the weight of his palm on the back of my head, pulling me in as he slammed his lips to mine.

Fireworks. It was like a bunch of fireworks were lit and set off in me.

His lips were softer than I’d ever imagined, his mouth moving against mine like he wanted to consume me.

He licked my lips, a silent plea for entrance and I gave it to him. My mouth opened up for the assault of his tongue and that was when I lost myself.

A barely audible moan escaped my lips. I should have held it in, because at that very moment, Elias, with all the strength he had, pushed me, not roughly, but firm enough to make me take a step back.

"No," he growled, his voice low and menacing. "This won't happen. Not with me and not like this."

His words stung like ice water, but I didn’t let it show on my face. My chest heaved from the intensity of the kiss. I don’t know if I should be pained or angry or… I don’t even know.

"You don't get to do this," he told me, voice clenched in barely suppressed fury. "You don't get to make me crave something I can't have."

I swallowed hard, the words I needed to say stuck somewhere in my throat. There was just so much that I needed him to hear, so much that I needed him to know. But all that came out was a bitter, quiet laugh.

"I'm not the one making this happen, Elias. You are," I whispered. "You're the one who's constantly pulling me in. You're the one who can't stop himself from coming near."

And just like that, a face that held so much emotions shut down. Emotionless. That’s what he became in a blink of an eye.

"Back to your room," he said to me again, this time, there was no warmth in his voice.

I nodded, too tired to fight with him. "Okay."

I turned and walked away, the weight of his gaze burning into my back, but my heart was still racing. I had no idea what to do. I had no idea how much longer I could pretend like I wasn't falling in love with him.

That kiss… that kiss awoke something in me. Something that was meant to be locked tight and never let out. And now, the thing wasn’t going to rest until it had its fill: Elias Montgomery.

Even his name alone sent shivers skating down my spine. Made a part of me I longed thought had lost its function rise for him.

As I walked back to my own room, a bitter truth settled uncomfortably in my chest:

Elias Montgomery was a man who had the power to ruin me. And I was already half way there.