The Psycho I Want

The car glided through the morning haze like it had somewhere better to be. Kai sat in the backseat, legs spread out, head leaned against the window, watching the new city smear into abstract colors. Another school. Another uniform to pretend in.

“Alright,” the man in the passenger seat said, flipping through some papers with the exhaustion of someone who had done this too many times. “Just… be on your best behavior, okay? This is the last school that agreed to take you.”

Kai hummed, half-distracted. “You’re making it sound like an undercover mission.”

“It basically is,” the man muttered.

Kai lifted his gaze, eyes gleaming with a little too much amusement. “So, what do kids my age do again? Parties? Late-night fun? Hookups behind the bleachers?”

“Stop.” The man glared. “That’s not what I meant. I mean—just act normal.”

Kai kicked the seat lightly. “Define normal.”

“Not getting in fights. Not drawing attention. Not… anything. Just be a good kid for once.”

Kai’s lips twitched. “Cute of you to think that’s possible.”

The man reached back and flicked his forehead. “I swear, you were easier to deal with when you were twelve.”

Kai chuckled and finally sat upright. “Yeah, okay. I’ll behave. Happy now?”

“Ecstatic,” the man deadpanned.

Kai leaned back again. “Sure thing… Dad.”

The man whipped around so fast the driver almost swerved. “I am your cousin, Kai.”

Kai snorted. “Relax, Martin. Just messing with you.”

“Don’t—just don’t.” His cousin pinched the bridge of his nose. “Lay low. Please. That’s all I’m asking.”

Kai gave him a lazy salute. “Low profile. Good kid. Got it.”

Even if both of them knew he was incapable of either.

---

The school gates was open like the mouth of some bored giant. Kai stepped out of the car, adjusting his hoodie and pulling up the black mask that hid everything below his eyes. It wasn’t suspicious. Gen Z could show up dressed like space pirates and no one would blink.

He kept his head down as he walked the corridors. First stop: the principal’s office. Boring introductions, fake smiles, the “fresh start” speech dripping with optimism neither of them believed.

The moment he stepped back out into the hall, everything went sideways.

He bumped straight into a wall of denim and jangling metal.

“Dude!” the boy barked, nearly dropping his phone. “Watch where—”

Then the kid froze.

Kai’s mask slipped just enough to show his face.

The boy’s eyes went cartoon-wide. “Wait. Wait. Aren’t you—aren’t you THAT kid?”

Kai instantly pulled the mask back up. “No.”

“Yes you are!” The blonde pointed at him like he was a museum exhibit. “You’re that kid from the internet. The one who—” his voice dropped theatrically, “—murdered his teachers and classmates.”

Kai silently cursed his life.

He bent down to pick up his mask, but the boy stepped closer, jacket jingling like a wind chime having a panic attack.

“What are you doing at our school? Trying to recruit new victims? You need more bodies or something?”

Kai sighed. “I’m sorry, you’re mistaken.”

He absolutely was not mistaken.

Kai adjusted his hood and walked past him before this turned into a scene. Blonde Boy nearly tripped trying to follow.

“You definitely are that murderer kid!”

Kai didn’t look back.

He just kept walking.

Low profile.

Good kid.

Off to a terrible start.

---

By lunch, everything had gone to hell.

If rumors moved fast online, schools were basically particle accelerators. You sneeze wrong and suddenly you're trending. Kai hadn’t even survived three hours before #psychoKai started blooming like fungi across campus.

He pulled his hood lower.

He kept his mask tight.

But whispers traveled faster than light, ricocheting off lockers and walls.

Is that him?

The murderer kid?

Why is he here?

Shouldn’t he be in jail?

He tried ignoring the comments on T*****r, too — but they kept spawning like hydra heads. Every time he muted one thread, three more came slithering in.

At least the teachers avoided him now.

That was… actually a win.

They hovered around him with that cautious energy adults have when they think a kid might be armed with more than a pencil. They spoke softly, didn’t scold him, and cleared paths like he was campus royalty with a violent hobby.

Honestly?

If becoming a “murderer” got teachers to finally listen, obey, and fear him… maybe every kid should try it. The thought made him laugh out loud, earning him a fresh wave of stares. Whatever.

He still had to eat.

Low profile didn’t mean starvation.

He grabbed lunch from the cafeteria — ignoring the flinches and sidesteps — and retreated to the abandoned corner near the emergency exit. There used to be vending machines here once, judging by the sad electrical outlet and historical dust. Perfect spot.

No crowd.

No eyes.

No whispers.

He slipped his mask off and started eating in peace.

Until a voice blared through the cafeteria like broken speakers.

“Wait… YOU MEAN A PSYCHOPATH IS IN OUR SCHOOL?”

Kai froze mid-bite.

Of course someone was yelling about him.

He tried not to listen, but the guy had a voice powered by confidence and chaos.

“Like the psychopathic kid? The killer?” the boy continued, incredulous.

One of his friends whispered loudly, “Yeah, and honestly? I feel like you're gonna be the next victim if you don't keep quiet.”

The boy laughed — the bright, careless kind. “Please. I look too good to be his victim.”

Kai blinked.

Who was this idiot?

He bit into his sandwich again, but the boy kept rambling as he sat down at a table dead center like he owned gravity.

Seconds passed. Kai went back to pretending he didn’t care.

Then the boy’s chair scraped.

He stood up, slapped his hands together, and announced dramatically to his confused friends:

“Picture this. How about I get with the psychopath and add him to my grand list?”

His friends hit him on the arm. “Dude, what is wrong with you? Sit down! You’re embarrassing us!”

Kai stifled a laugh, shoulders shaking.

Who even talked like that?

Then the boy doubled down — loudly:

“No, listen. He’s a murderer, right? I want to have sex with him.”

Kai choked.

Not a cute cough.

A full-on, life-flashing-before-his-eyes choke.

He slammed a hand against his chest, coughing so hard his eyes stung.

Every head spun toward the abandoned corner.

There he was.

Mask off.

Face exposed.

Caught mid-choke like a frazzled squirrel.

Kai stared back at dozens of horrified, fascinated eyes.

Curse his entire existence.