Chapter 4

Maddie

Footsteps stopped right in front of me, everyone continued to laugh. Carlson pulled away the helmet, took my hands and led me away to his dorm.

I sat on the edge of the bed, he dragged a seat forward and sat right in front of me watching me cry. I felt so humiliated that Veronica will go to just an extent.

I don’t have to worry anymore, it’s no news I threw myself at Jamie begging him to take my V-card. I have to live with that for the rest of my life bearing shame and humiliation.

“I’m not too much of a crier” I wept the tears away with the back of my hands.

“Wait, let me get you a tissue” I cried bitterly and couldn't get the memories off my head.

“Here” I took the tissue from Carlson, wiping my tears dry, sniffing between.

Carlson drew closer, raising my chin to look at him, the way his glassy grey eyes stared into my soul. Why does my heart beat so fast when he is close, so close to me?

It feels like I lost my sense of purpose for a moment.

“You have learned how to stand up for yourself”

Well! That’s another mission for another day. I just can’t, what am I going to say to Veronica or get bullied by her for the rest of my life.

“Don’t allow her to get to you and get away with that. She's made you cry twice. Are you going to keep allowing her, have her way with you?”

I sighed, Carlson is right but it’s quite unfortunate Veronica was there to hear my confession and she is going to use it against me forever. Not forever till I leave the school.

I can’t even show my face in class now, what will people say about me? A pleading crying virgin.

“Hey, you don’t have to do anything. Punch her to her face if it gets too much and you don’t know what to say.

He rubs my cheek in a comforting rhythm making me stare at him with my mouth half open. I stopped crying but lost in Carlson's gaze.

I didn’t see a playboy but saw someone who truly cared.

Gosh! Wake up Maddie.

“Why do you care? You’re just a star hockey team and just a nobody who nobody cares about”

“You remind me of my little innocent sister”

“Really, is she a virgin too”

“Well. I mean” he slutters.

“I hope so, she’s just 8”

“What! I remind you of your 8 years old sister. Do I act like I’m 8 years old”

I continue to cry, moving away from Carlson who thinks.

“Hey is going to be okay” he rubs my cheek sending electric shock down my spine. We make eye contact. He drew closer, so close our lips almost touched before I burst out.

“Do you even know the worst part? I didn’t get to even speak to Jamie again ”

I sniffed, even at this moment I still thought of Jamie. Carlson sighs disappointed. I didn’t want to pass the wrong message as much as my heart beats for Carlson whenever he’s close. I still want Jamie.

“You know Jamie might not be into you no matter how you try”

“I don’t have any choice but to keep trying. And you have to teach me another strategy”

I completely wiped off my tears, consoling myself and forcing myself to completely forget what happened a few minutes ago.

“Alright, if that is what you want then” Carlson comes closer, sitting at the edge of the bed opposite of me.

“Firstly, you have to make lots of eye contact and then you touch her shoulder” his hand went over to my shoulder squeezing them a little before it ran down to my wrist.

“Then you touch her hands” he touches mine too making me feel so important, the beating of my heart. It felt so awkward like we are lovers having heart to heart talk.

“Then there knees” his bare hand touches my bare skin and that moment I lost every sense in me. I can’t control it, I can’t control it anymore.

“And that's how…” his voice brought me back.

“It feels so real though this might be fake”

“Yeah” he says but I could see the sincerity in his voice, the hunger in his eyes.

This isn’t about Carlson teaching me, it might be fake for me but it’s real for him. I could feel it. I could see it in his eyes.

“Then how do I reply to this”

“You laugh at his dry jokes even though there might not be any, then you say something special about him. Something you like about him”

I placed my hand on his knees drawing closer to him.

“And I love the way you smell, so nice” I took a glance at his lips drawing close till we almost kissed before I pulled away.

“It worked, it worked” I shouted in so much excitement raising my hand to the air.

Carlson moved back to the seat.

“Congratulations then, you have passed flirting 103”

“Thank you for teaching me Carlson”

“Why do you say I smell nice?”

“You asked me to say something nice”

“You think I smell nice”

“Do you smell like wet clothes?” I could see the vulnerability in his eyes.

“I’m a star quarterback. We don’t smell nice” he tries to mask his vulnerability but he sucks at that.

“Relax” I touch his knees.

“I’m not going to tell anyone,your secret is safe with me” he nods then looks away.

Never had I thought Carlson the quarterback and the school golden boy melts at me telling him he smells nice. I thought he was a tough nut to crack.

“You always have a way to get my shit”

“Oh yeah. Why don’t we take a look at those literature assignments”

Carlson went over to the shelf to pick up a book. Never thought a hidden camera was somewhere watching us.