LOGINMaddie
I stared at myself after I was done weaving my long chestnut hair into braids. Using my scrunchie I tag them at the end of the braid. Will Carlson love this? I found myself asking. Why do I have to do the things he loves? It should be Jamie dumpass. I corrected my backpack, and I locked up my door before leaving. It's been three days since I missed school, not after what happened at the party. Carlson has been a good friend not friends, tutor who has been helping to cheer me up and give me updates based on things taught in the class. Carlson asked me to have a coffee with him at my favorite coffee shop. It's so simple since an an A student missing a few classes isn't going to stop me from achieving my academic pursuit. The moment I stepped out I met Veronica with her squad who blocked my path. I cursed hoping she didn't come to cause trouble again. I'm already tired of her. “Going somewhere desperate virgin” I rolled my eyes and tried to walk out but she drags me back and have her girls hold me in place side by side. I tried to get free from them but its difficult having two persons hold me side by side. Veronica brought out her phone and began to stream me again. “Let's see what she have beneath those old gumpy cardigan of hers” She wants to strip me again, they all laughed as my favorite cardigan from my mother was ripped apart. Anger soured inside of me. I have promised to cherish that gift forever, I didn't care if Veronica thinks it will suit her great grandmother. She has crossed the line and I'm going to show her what it feels like to step on my toes. Carlson's words rang in my head. “If you can't verbally abuse her, punch on to the face” My hand had the mind of its own as my bulge hand flew to her nose. A metallic scent filled the room. Veronica’s eyes filled with horror of both surprise and shock touch the bridge of her nose as the red dripped down. “What do you just do?” She asked, shocked enough her squad freed me scared of having a bleeding nose just like Veronica. I sprinted out running till I got to the cafe, my heart beating so fast. I have never been so brave to kick someone's ass. Before stepping into the cafe, I took a deep breath calming myself down with a bright smile that spread on my face. The place wasn't much filled, I spotted Carlson sitting alone at the far end of the cafe. He stood up when he saw me coming. “Hey, sorry am late” “It's cool, anything for you” “Take a seat” he gestures for me to take a seat right in front of him. “She's in here, I'm sure of that” Veronica's voice, she walked in with not just her squad this time but with a huge looking fat cop. Veronica had a hankie on her nose exerting pressure on her bleeding nose. “She's the one” Veronica points accusing finger at me and for some reason I didn't feel scared probably because I'm with Carlson. He has been my peaceful place. “Maddie Malone, you have been reported causing violence, you have the right to remain silent or whatever you say will be held against you in the court of law. Put your hands in the air and turn around” I did exactly as she said, she drags my hands down like a criminal and cuffs it. “Wait wait, what is going on here” “Maddie punch me on the face” “Really, she did that. But she won't if you didn't cross the line. You have been bullying Maddie recently. I'm sure you must have a video of Maddie on your phone” “Hold on, are you the quarterback?” The cop asked. “Yes, you have been to one of my games. I have seen you few times” “Yeah dude, you're really hitting it hard. I can't wait for the next match. I'm a fan” “I will have a space for you” “I appreciate man, peace” The cop turns to Veronica. “Maddie here was only trying to defend herself from Veronica” “Young lady, could you please hand over your phone” but Veronica never did. “I'm sorry for the interruptions. You have a nice day” the cop freed my hands and walked away right out of the door. Veronica yells. “This isn't over yet, I will make sure to deal with you” This time I won't take her threat for granted. She walked out leaving me behind with Carlson. “You did it,” Carlson cheered on. I haven't seen a big fan like Carlson. He drives me to be a better version of myself. He sees me for who I am. “You just passed Defence 101. Congratulations. I'm sure Veronica won't be crawling on your skin anymore” We got done from the cafe, Carlson took me shopping. To my favorite online shopping. Shein “Why are we here?” “Changing your wardrobe should be another strategy. You don't go about wearing baggy clothes. You need to show Jamie what you got” I squeal in excitement. “Yes” “I'm sure he will like to see you look hot” I went on to try more clothes which Carlson had to approve of. It felt like I'm on a date with him. Carlson steps out to answer a call when my eyes fell on Jamie walking in, he wasn't alone but had someone by his side. Not Veronica but a different girl. Can I really meet up with this?Maddie “Where are we going?”“Nowhere in particular."“Do you want to go somewhere?” I thought for a while about any place having fun, but I shook my head."No."“Ok, we can grab something at the shop ahead."I nod; the street smells differently. Love in the air. Restaurants and shops have taken their time to do a little decoration with red and white ribbons with flickers and love images.Couples walk hand in hand, whispering to each other. I enjoyed the scene and I love it. They were young and old in the streets.Carlson stops the car right in front of a shopping mob.“Do you want anything I need to grab?”He asked after he got off his seat belt.“Umh…nothing really." But seriously, I don't need anything; having him by my side is enough already.I walk out, and I admire his features, the way he walks, the way he is so picture-perfect.Why am I singing praises to him like he never hurt me before?What if he does it again? How am I going to know it is just a prank?Probably we should
Maddie What could possibly be the worst thing that can happen?I asked myself over and over again. My ego is bruised. Being humiliated in front of everyone and finding myself on live videos.I could possibly call that the most embarrassing day of my life, but there are more days worse than that.So what could possibly be the worst thing that can happen if I accept this invitation?Even though I know I have to swallow my pride, my ego, which has formed with time.My fingers are tapping on my lap, biting down on my lower lip while Carlson applies body lotion on my back.If I could possibly stand up from here, he would notice how wet I am.My towel is doing the good job of soaking it all up for the meantime, but my core clenches more, and I know I might not survive this not having Carlson always around.I might not have the privacy to release myself after I have destroyed my room.“Maddie, I'm done. Let me get your food while you dress up."I stared at him so helplessly with pretty eye
Maddie Carlson stands and then leaves.I panicked. He promised he wasn't going to leave. Did I say anything wrong? I thought for a second. The thought of being alone scares me, often—not often lately.I have always had those weird thoughts. I'm an Icelander. I hardly have friends, nor do I have one at home except for Jamie, so the little affection he shows to me feels like love and a world to me.I will say I was stupid and vulnerable for believing all his lies; he was a friend I could talk to. We shared the same window that happened to face each other, so every night after my father had tucked me into bed.I patiently wait at the window for him; sometimes he never shows up, and I feel so sad that night, but whenever he shows up, then I have someone who is willing to listen to my rant.We were super duper close, and that built up a feeling I never expected.But this one right now feels different. It feels I'm safe. It feels I'm with the right one. I don't have to act in a certain
Maddie Sometimes the pain we feel feels like it's about to consume us.The grief.The heaviness of our chest and the sadness.Sometimes I want to wake up normally without so much pain. This is the reality. Everything dearest to my heart has a way of hurting me, and the people closest to me make it even worse.The pain when it surfaced again. Acting like it wasn't there and won't be there is like lying to myself.Being lied to, especially about part of your existence, is the worst thing that can ever happen to someone.Now I know what to do with the truth: stop loving, confront the person I have loved all my life, or wait patiently for the next that will unfold.Recently my brain has slowly been trained to accept pain. I want to be happy, but I don't know how. Even if Carlson is trying his best to make me cheer up, that doesn't justify my fear.What if he leaves me one day? What if he wakes up one morning and tells me he doesn't have feelings for me anymore? How am I supposed to liv
Maddie Do you know the best feeling? Having someone by your side during tough moments. Those times in life have to measure you and throw you off balance.Last night's kiss means a world to me; it is not the regular kind of kiss, but the kind of kiss that comes with assurance, the promise of "I will always be here for you in every step of the way." That reassuring promise is what is keeping me sane.My lips curled into a smile, a smile of gratitude. A smile that says thank you for always being here for me no matter the tantrums and no matter what happens.I stared at him; the silence of our hearts spoke it all. His hand cradles my face, and it was the best feeling ever. I knelt down and didn't know when I fell asleep.I didn't want to wake up because I don't want to face whatever that is ahead of me. I can't face my mom; she has her reasons for whatever went wrong, but that bad decision gave birth to me, but the problem is her hiding it from me this long.When was she planning to
Carlson Her hand moves underneath my clothes, blushing my chest like a girl who knows what she wants.Not breaking eye contact with me, it feels like we see each other now. It feels like she is staring deeply into my soul.I see vulnerability.I see a girl who wants to run from her pains.I see a girl who wants to forget her pains.She wasn't ready yet, not one she would blame me for. I want our first to not be an escape from pain.I don't want her to wake up the next morning regretting everything or telling me to my face that it means nothing.It's nothing; it's so easy to say, and that will come with a perpetual pain and rejection I didn't budget for, so instead I grip her hand to a stop.Turning her over before she can even say a word. I'm on top of her, and her breast is so perky.I could see her standing nibbles underneath her nightie begging to be fuddled and sucked.It's so tempting that I lick my bottom lip. I want her so badly. I admit to that, but not this way.Not a night d
Maddie “Jack” I whispered in shock to desify what just happened. I was on the floor in pain but my husband didn't look my way.It felt like I didn't exist in his world, my head was spinning and it felt I was going to run mad every minute.“Are you okay?” he asked Cassandra who whimpered.“I was tr
MADDIEThe first thing that hit me was the smell.Soft perfume, fresh fabric, something expensive I had never known personally but somehow recognized. Carlson kept walking ahead like he was born in places like this. He reminded me of people who lived large, although I didn't have any special reaso
MADDIETime seems to pass so quickly so is my emotions. I was getting less attached this time. I and mum spoke more like three times in a week and I’m getting my soon to be step mum calls.At first it was an unknown, if I knew it was her in the first place I won’t have picked up the call.Her voice
Maddie We never got home, we clearly never did. The best day of my life turned into the worst day filled with pain and misery. I saw Cassandra ogling to my husband. The nerves to do when she knew I was right behind her. What gave her the audacity? Jack was cold to me throughout and I cou







