The First Hunt

The day after Kira had called me out. The air felt lighter now the secret was out, the world cleaner. Waking up to the familiar taste of yesterday's tea, a little bitter but comforting all the same, I braced for my stomach to turn over twice. It only turned once today and then settled. I didn't get out of bed to sprint for the trees, maybe I was getting better.

Kira was already awake, tending to the fire, adding small dry twigs to the flames and Renn was sharpening the point of a spear, each careful stroke making a high pitched squeaking noise. Mia and Theo were fast asleep under a shared piece of hide while Gage snores lightly further along the edge of the camp.

I pulled myself upright. "So, what's the plan for today?"

She didn't look up from feeding the fire. "Hunt. We need meat. Yesterday's rabbit didn't last long enough for ten people. "

I nod. "I'm going."

She looks up, a knowing expression on her face. "Are you sure? You were looking really green yesterday."

"Not today." I say. "I need to be moving. Just staying put here is making it worse."

Renn briefly stops sharpening the spear, "She's right. Fresh air would do her a lot of good. I'll keep an eye on her."

Kira looks at me for a moment too long, her eyes meeting mine directly before she speaks. "If you slow us down, you're going back, understand?"

"Deal." I say quickly.

We head out as soon as the first hints of the sun rise and the sky starts to turn a lighter shade of purple gray. The forest was still damp from last nights' rain, drips on every leaf and branch, the ground was soft and mucky from the moisture.

Renn is out in front with his spear, Kira by my side, moving like a whisper. I've got the small knife that Ronan gave me so many years ago clutched in my hand, the worn smoothness of the handle familiar to the thumb that is always rubbing it. I push the memory of Ronan away.

We followed the deer's tracks through thick undergrowth and the scent of damp pine and soil. Renn will stop and point out a snapped branch, or a deep print in the mud. "She's a big one." He murmurs to Kira, "it must must be pregnant and moving more slowly."

Kira nods, "Good."

I was trying to keep the pace and breathing deeply. My stomach feels round and full, although it doesn't really show under the tunic. A steady, stubborn weight in my stomach. Something I am not allowed to ignore. I have not been allowed to ignore it.

Theo bolted forward suddenly, "I see her!" he hisses loudly, pointing a trembling finger at a dense part of the trees.

"Shush Theo." Kira says sharply.

He does not listen, but instead crashes through the trees straight towards a steep drop off. I sprint after him, snatching him up by his shirt and pulling him back with all my might. He stumbles back against me as the deer disappears over the edge.

He spins around, his eyes wide and accusing. "I almost had her!"

"You almost died." I gasp, my voice shaky and more strained than I would have liked. I was still gripping the back of his shirt as if he might break away again. "You could have broken your neck on those rocks."

He looks down at the sharp stones and tangled roots that fall over the edge, his face pale.

Kira comes up to us, her expression grim. "What in hell were you thinking?"

"I wanted to help." He mumbles.

"You help by listening!" she snaps. "Not by dying and dragging the rest of us down with you!"

Renn comes up to us, his spear in a ready position. "We lost it, it's gone."

Gage arrives last, hobbling slightly. "Told you those kids were trouble."

I let go of Theo's shirt, he remained still, eyes on the ground, shaking his shoulders. I drop down to his level. "You wanted to help, that's good. But the next time you wait for the signal. We hunt together, or not at all. Do you understand?"

He nods and whispers "Sorry."

I give his shoulder a squeeze making sure he understands it is sincere. "You learn, that is enough."

We never caught the deer but Renn managed to catch a small rabbit on the way back to camp. It is not much, but it is meat and we all sat around the fire while it is cooked. Theo watched Gage skin it like his life depended on his actions, and Mia hands me a mug of Kira's willow ginger tea without being asked. "For your stomach," she whispers.

I took it gratefully, "Thank you."

Kira slides onto the log beside me, close enough for our shoulders to touch. "You did good today. Pulling him back so quickly." She hesitates. "You are good with them, the children. They look at you like you are...safe." They listen to you.

I glance at Theo on the opposite side of the fire, intently watching Gage's movements as he works the knife, his tongue sticking out from the corner of his mouth. "They just need someone to show them how, not yell at them."

Kira smiles softly. "You are."

Renn flips the rabbit over the fire again. "We will try again tomorrow. Better plan next time."

I nodded, "Together."

The night closed in around us, cold and smoky, with the quiet breathing of the sleeping children. I was comfortable and felt a lightness I haven't experienced since I left Voss.

Then the dizzy spell hit, swift and silent. The world tilted on its axis and I clung to the log beside me. The world flickered, colors flashing before my eyes, colors not from the forest or the fire or the moon above.

Black wolves. High on the ridge above camp, yellow eyes fixed on me, patient and cold.

I blinked.

The vision was gone.

My hands were shaking so badly I put them between my knees.

Kira looks at me. "You okay?"

I force a strained smile. "Just tired."

She didn't ask anything further, but her gaze lingered on me a moment too long. I look out into the trees. They are out there, watching. And they saw me too.