9. Bloody Hell

★JANIE★

Wiping off the tears from every corner of my eyes with the back of my hands, I expelled a sharp air out of my lungs.

Breathe, Janie! Exhale! In out, in, out, I schooled myself.

I knew with time everything was going to get better. I just had to make sure I calmly strategize my plan and figure my way around here. Then I can make a move. But all this wouldn't be possible if I don't eat, would it?

Reluctantly, I dropped the knife on the floor and stared blankly at it. I could not believe I had set up my mind on killing myself a few moments ago. I still had a lot of life in front of me; I haven't attended college, and I have not gotten married. And to say the least, I haven't gotten someone to pop my cherry yet. So where the hell was I hurrying to?

No, Janie. You can do this. Luciano is no match for you, just avoid him like a plaque until you can get the hell out of here, I thought to myself.

Then I shuffled to my feet, switched on the faucet, and washed off my teary face. When