#Chapter 4: “A Bitter Taste”

I tried to be quiet, but couldn’t stifle the last gag from making noise: a dry, heaving retch.

I looked up to find everyone else’s eyes on me. Several of the other Deltas spoke at once.

“Are you okay?”

“Do you need a glass of water?”

And after a moment, quietly:

“You’re not pregnant, are you?”

I blinked, startled. That hadn’t occurred to me. Surely not. Hunter and I were always careful.

“I’m still unmated,” I said quickly, trying to keep my tone light and airy. “How could I be pregnant?”

Their eyes turned back to their work. Fortunately, no one else had ever seen Hunter’s mark, hidden below my collarbone.

I didn’t need to worry about that, did I?

No, I didn’t. I was allowed to be tired. Besides all the emotional turmoil of Hunter caring for Maya, then announcing she was his fated mate, there was the normal strain of my duties. And last night’s fraught, but ultimately satisfying, sex.

No wonder I was tired. I was sure it would just be a temporary feeling.

Maya entered the room.

I stood quickly from my chair as she walked in, looking slightly embarrassed.

“Maya, good morning, let’s get started,” I said. “I’ll give you a tour of the office first. Oh, would you like a coffee?”

She didn’t speak, just blinked and nodded, clear cheeks reddening slightly.

I poured her a cup, trying to steady myself. If I was going to be working with her, I needed to think about her separately from Hunter. I was upset with him, but none of this was her fault.

“Milk or sugar?” I asked as I handed it over. I arranged my lips into a smile.

She shook her head.

I didn’t think small talk was going to help; we might as well get started.

“This is where you’ll do most of your work,” I said clearly, gesturing around the room. It was simple and modern, with floor-to-ceiling glass and sleek metal desks spaced  evenly in two rows. “This will be your desk,” I said, pulling the chair out from the one at the end of the row, which was currently unclaimed. It was a good spot, with a view out the window.

She ran her fingertips across the iron top of the desk and set her coat on the chair. She looked pleased, but still completely intimidated.

I really wasn’t sure Hunter had done her a favor by giving her the responsibility of a Delta role already.

I walked her back toward a corner with communal office supplies, the printer and a shredder, then through an archway into the next room: a conference suite with a large table surrounded by black leather chairs. There were several stacks of papers on it, as well as two bulletin boards with budget sheets and lists pinned across them.

“We use this area for any meetings. Sometimes with other divisions of the pack, but mostly for our operations. It’s a bit more cluttered than usual, since we have the general supply lists for the pack, as well as all the documentation for the pack school we’ll be launching soon, and the start of preparations for the new member initiation ceremony.”

I paused, realizing I’d been speaking quickly. It felt good to be thinking about work.

“Actually,” I said, gesturing toward the papers on the table. “Maybe you could start by organizing these into categories. General pack business here, school funding over there, and new member initiation ceremony in the middle.”

Maya picked up a piece of paper, shaking a little as she did.

“So this one would go in—?”

I sighed. Hunter definitely hadn’t done her a favor by giving her a job she couldn’t do. She didn’t understand even the most basic operations of the pack yet. How was she supposed to manage this?  

I felt a stabbing pain behind my left eye and pressure across my temples. A bad headache coming on. I winced and squeezed my eyes shut.

When I opened them, it was to find Maya having crumpled into one of the chairs, sniffling and with tears running down her cheeks. What had I done?

“I’m sorry. I’m so stupid. I’m just holding you back,” Maya whimpered.

The door opened and I whipped my head around to see Hunter striding in. He made it about halfway across the room before his brow furrowed and expression darkened.

He stared at Maya’s distraught face.  

“What happened?” he growled in my direction. Of course he assumed it was my fault.

“Nothing,” I said slowly, trying to get my bearings in spite of the pain in my head, “we were just going over some of the key duties of a Delta, when—”

Maya cut across me.

“I just feel a bit overwhelmed and stupid. I don’t know how any of this works.”

Hunter’s expression softened, his face’s angular lines curving with his gentle smile.

“You’re just new to it. You’ll get it,” he told her. “Kara had no idea about the pack’s operations. She made much worse errors than you can imagine when she first started—”

“Is that necessary?” Elle interrupted. One of the other longest serving Deltas, she was probably the colleague I was closest to. Though I made sure to keep a certain amount of professional distance from all of them.

The other Deltas followed Elle’s lead, chiming in with statements about my tireless work and general competence.

I glowed warm inside at their praise. At the fact that they were standing up for me.

Hunter didn’t dignify them with a response.

“Anyway,” he said to Maya, “I’m just here to bring you breakfast. I got some extra food from the pack’s chef this morning.”

I glanced down at the dish he was carrying, then felt myself crumple.

I knew Chef’s cooking well. I’d been eating his food for years. His meals were always simple, functional, but perfectly prepared.

The plate Hunter held out now was neither. I noticed some charred edges, where the food had been burned. On the side were three carefully aligned sprigs of fresh herbs.

Chef would never serve something overcooked, and he’d never garnish anything. He didn’t see the point in decorating something that was meant to be eaten.

The meal was Hunter’s handiwork.

Tears pricked the corners of my eyes. I cursed at them to stay where they were.

We’d been married for five years. I’d stayed in the Alpha suite countless times.

He had never made me breakfast.

I tried to think of a kind gesture he’d ever made for me. Nothing came to mind.

Our relationship was all transactions: empty sexual satisfaction; cold, practical work conversations; heartless money transfers.

He’d known her for no time at all, and she was getting lovingly prepared breakfast.

I wasn’t sure if the bitter taste in my mouth was from my near vomiting earlier or the physical symptom of my upset.

I forced the corners of my lips to turn upward into a smile. I looked at Maya.

“Let’s go out—I’ll take you around the nearby area and help you learn more about the pack and how we operate.”

“I’ll drive you,” Hunter interjected.

Maya’s face brightened.

“That sounds great,” she said in a high tone, the tears seemingly forgotten. She stood quickly, practically bouncing on the balls of her feet in excitement.

She glanced at me. Her whole body stilled.

“Of course,” she said quietly, “I’ll follow Kara’s decision.”

I opened my mouth to say that the plan sounded fine, but Hunter spoke first.

“I am the Alpha. If I order something, the opinion of someone who’s just a Delta doesn’t matter.”

I considered replying, but what would be the point?

It seemed I didn’t matter.