Chapter One

Graduation sure snuck up quickly. I wish I could say I would miss school, but I know I won't. It was hell for me, every single second.

I stared at myself in the mirror for far too long trying to see if I looked any different. Felt any different even. I still looked the same. Graduating school had not developed me an ounce. I feel as I did yesterday and the day before that. They always tell you that things will be different once you are done with high school, but they're wrong. Which I guess is a good thing since change makes me nervous. I need a routine, and that is the biggest flaw in graduation; you move forward. I wasn't the  smartest in school, and I wasn't the most popular, but is anyone? The person you are in high school is such a facade. You only show people a part of you: some people you'll see again, and some you won't. And, I'm perfectly fine with it.

One month after my eighteenth birthday my parents retired to Florida. They signed the house over to my sister, Rory. She was a cheerleader in school. Every guy I knew loved her. Strong, independent, and smart are among her many qualities. I always envied her in a way- being as beautiful as she is. Her blonde hair still shined in the sun. And the way her blue eyes, unlike mine would glisten when she was excited.

My parents on the other hand always tried to keep us under lock and key. More so Rory than myself. She was a party girl, and while my parents lived here, that was a problem. My father was a recovering alcoholic, and my mom had her issues with drugs. So eventually when they decided to get clean none of that was allowed. I was genuinely surprised when they gave her the house. I wasn't surprised when Rory decided she wasn't going to Florida with them.

My relationship with my parents wasn't too much different. We had our issues, but we worked through them. I wasn't much of a party person, but I did indulge from time to time. More now that I'm living with only my sister.

“Adrianna, come upstairs with me, I need help," Rory said while grabbing my arm and pulling me with her. She practically threw me on the bed and slammed her door. I could never get a moment of peace with her.

"My god, what?" I huffed, "you almost tore my arm off." I rubbed my arms and felt the outline of her fingers in them.

She laughed and crossed her arms, “You're such a cry baby. I did not." The nail marks on my arm said otherwise.

I rolled my eyes and sat down on her bed while she rummaged through her closet, and pulled out random pieces of clothing. She threw two dresses on the bed.

“Which one do you like?" She asked, and plopped down on the bed next to me. One dress was blue and had spaghetti straps. While the other was a long-sleeved, all-black, skin-tight dress. Both of them looked like they would only come up to her mid-thigh.

“The black one. For sure." I picked it up and handed it to her.

She laughed, "oh, it's not for me. It's for you. We're going out tonight." She handed me the dress back while smirking.

“Why are we going out tonight?" The dress was stunning, yet casual. More my style than hers. I held the fabric in my hand still deciding if I wanted to go. This would be my first night out in six months. I had been doing a whole lot of nothing in my room this summer.

“To celebrate that you are graduating. You're the only one that did." Her smile faded slightly. She was always too hard on herself for not graduating. It was always so important to her. This was probably her way of living vicariously through me. The last big bang of my teenage years had approached.

I sighed, "alright, I'll go."

She squealed and grabbed my hand.

“Good, and I'm paying for everything. Now get a shower and get dressed. Your big sis is the boss."

I laughed, and saluted her while leaving her room, and going to the bathroom. I got undressed and turned on the shower. It's been a while since I went out with her, and I know she's worried about me. I kind of feel like I've been sliding back into my depression lately. Counseling helped tremendously. Rory went with me, and so did my parents. It turned more into my sister and my parents arguing than it did about me though.

It did help me with letting go of trivial things. No matter how far down I go, I'll be able to pull myself up again, with help. I’ve had my problems, we all have — some greater than others.

After being in the shower for a few minutes I heard a knock on the bathroom door, and Rory poked her bead in.

“Here's that dress. We're leaving at eight.”

I heard her hang the dress up on the back of the door.

“Okay, thank you," I yelled, over the sound of the water, and I heard the door close.

After getting out of the shower and applying lotion, I started blow drying my dark hair. After I was done, I grabbed the dress and saw Rory also picked out my underwear and bra. Really? I rolled my eyes and got dressed.

After getting ready I went to Rory's room. As soon as she saw me, she smiled and grabbed my hand.

“You're so pretty, Ade. We should get going." Rory looked gorgeous. She wore the blue dress, and her long blonde hair was pulled into a pony.

I nodded and grabbed my purse.

When Rory was partying during her teenage years sometimes, she would sneak me out with her. We would take the bus and go downtown to these underground clubs. Sometimes it was fun, and others it wasn't. Occasionally, she would get too drunk, and I would have to help carry her home. Those were far, and few between, but can still be worrisome when going out with her.

I shook the thought out of my head and decided that tonight was going to be exhilarating.